I tend to think it’s a two-fold thing. On an instinctual level, it’s a way of asserting one’s place in whatever social hierarchy there is, by putting yourself with the ‘strong’ people, and not with the ‘weak’ people.
When people actually think about it, I think the primary thing is that there’s a concept that weak people aren’t pulling their own weight/keeping up the pace and/or are unduly needy, and resent that the weak people are requiring them to carry more than they otherwise would have, or are sucking up resources that could be distributed more equally if they pulled their share of the load.
There’s also a certain concept that those people require “special” treatment that everyone else doesn’t get- less to carry, easier work, etc… and that’s often resented as well.
I think that compassion is often something that has to be done deliberately for many people; their first reaction isn’t a compassionate one, and they have to explicitly remember that maybe they got dealt a better hand in life than the other person did, and that they’re doing the best they can. But if they don’t do that deliberate thought process, or don’t believe that person is doing their best, they can be pretty cruel toward the weak.
I should point out that this thread is strong enough to survive ten years!
I should also point out that this OP is a bit vague, strawman-y and borderline venturing on Incel territory. The OP is basically asking “why don’t women like me” and trying to extrapolate that into some universal axiom (instead of a more likely answer that the OP may have some annoying habits).
I suppose the answer to “why are people attracted to confidence and despise weakness?” is “why wouldn’t they?”. In my career, strength means working with capable, confident people who will help ensure the success of the company (and thus my own career). Weakness means salespeople who can’t close deals, team members who fuck up and can’t pull their weight, or business leaders without a clear vision for how to lead.
For my personal relationships, strength means intelligent people of character not afraid to try new things and actually bring something interesting to the table. The sort of weakness I despise are indecisiveness, a lack of character, stupidity, timidity, or a lack of ability to control themselves emotionally. These sort of people become burdensome and tedious. They create drama or other problems I don’t feel like dealing with.
You know who despises weakness? Weak people and sociopaths. Weak people are over concerned about social hierarchies and seek any advantage; sociopaths have too little conscience to see people as much more than a cost/benefit ratio.
The first thing I thought of when I read the thread title and the opening quote, is that it takes confidence to be uncertain, while weak people will grab an ideology and stick to it no matter what, so they don’t seem weak.
There’s nothing about evolution in this silly question.
First of all, not everyone despises weakness. The OP should refrain from normalizing the opinion that we all do. My daughter is weak compared to me, I don’t despise her at all. It is a stupid proposition. Many of us have compassion and empathy and understanding that might is not everything. People have other uses and talents besides hunting and fighting.
And then people use pseudo scientific BS to claim it’s because a weak link makes us weaker as a team. That has nothing at all to do with passing on your DNA. So it’s not evolution. In all likelihood it’s the brave and able warrior who gets the dirt bath before passing on his genes. But if you know which mushrooms are safe to eat and which aren’t maybe that’s enough to keep you alive and keep a mate happy enough to pass on your DNA.
My 2 cents on this is that Humans are not fully sentient. We THINK we are and we definitely have SOME sentience…but most of our everyday drives/thoughts etc are, for lack of better words, somewhat instinctual.
I saw a video on people catching a ball. They were asked what they were thinking and what skills they used. There were many explanations and different techniques used. However, when analyzed analytically it was no different than what a dog does. They THOUGHT they were thinking…but really weren’t.
So why do people despise weakness? It’s because most animals do and we aren’t really sentient about it. People may come up with reasons why they do but it is much like a dog and catching a ball.
To you point, the OP (which was written 10 years ago) seems to specifically refer to his “weakness” in communicating with women. So I think it’s less about “despising weakness” as it is having a specific weakness. If the OP is an otherwise “normal” guy but freaks out and sounds like these guys when he approaches a women, that’s a tough sell.