Why do people fight to be first onto an airplane?

[markdash]

@Martian Bigfoot

I’m worse than you. I don’t hate flying. In fact, I think it’s magical that we’re able to get piles of steel weighing hundreds of tonnes into the air just by attaching a pair of flimsy looking wings, and then use them to zip off to foreign locations. When I’m going on a plane, I’m way to busy being amazed to find any part of the process annoying. I’ve come to understand that this is hopelessly out of touch. I’m supposed to bitch and moan the whole time about everything from the security checks to the boarding time to the leg room to the time spent on the tarmac before take-off to the food to the length of the female cabin crew’s skirts. I don’t. I go through all of it in a state of idiotic bliss.

Sounds like you have heard that Louis CK bit about flying.

[Deegeea]

I make sure my carry on fits under the seat in front of me, which reduces stress getting on and off the plane by a lot. But I still like to be first on. I have frequent nightmares about missing planes. The earlier I can get on, the earlier I can stop stressing over missing it (however unlikely that is when I’m right there at the gate) and start relaxing.

[Hampshire]

@mnemosyne

Except that you are not allotted any space per passenger/seat in the overhead bins - there isn’t enough room for everyone to have that much space assigned to them.

Airplanes simply were not designed with that much bin space being used per person, and what you are suggesting is actually entirely impossible to do. The overhead bins were intended for coats, purses and hats, not for large wheeled carry-on bags, and there is no aircraft currently in operation that has space intended for one such bag per passenger.

1.5 feet was just a guess. Whatever the number works out to be (Total linear feet of over head space / total number of passenger seeats) that’s all you should be allowed to have. If that works out to 5 linear inches per seat so be it. If your stuff doesn’t fit those 5" then you don’t bring it.

[Freddy_the_Pig]

@Martian Bigfoot

You’d have to offer free blowjobs just to trick someone to be the first one in.

It would take a blow job to get me to spend one more minute on an airplane than I have to. The only good thing about being on an airplane is counting the minutes until you can get off.

My goal when I board is to have the closing jetway door hit my butt right after I walk through it. Then I jam my old-fashioned duffel bag under the seat (you’d be surprised what you can get under there) and let everyone else fight over the bins.

[aruvqan]

@Hampshire

They really ought to draw/paint/mark some dividing lines in those overhead bins and number them to their corresponding seats.
You get your reserved 1.5 linear feet of space and that’s it!

Something like this would be wonderful. My carryon is a red carpet bag that fits my netbook, my pacsafe med bag and a few tchatchkes [empty small bottle for water, 8 oz] and the charger for my droid. I prefer to check everything else - though 2 years ago when we went to Germany they trashed the hub on my wheelchair somehow and it took mrAru about 20 minutes to repair it, I think I may have a friend make some sort of case for the damned thing. I think they got the wheel hooked on something and yanked it.

@mnemosyne

Except that you are not allotted any space per passenger/seat in the overhead bins - there isn’t enough room for everyone to have that much space assigned to them.

There is if they get an assigned amount that is enough to hold a coat and hat and not luggage. You could have a check the size thing that reflects the underseat stowage area that matches the size of allowed overhead space. I think it is about 1 square foot or so.

I prefer not to have to schlep a bunch of crap onto the plane.

[Kaio]

@DCnDC

Carry-on luggage is the bane of my traveling existence. I only fly airlines that don’t have bag fees or if I must, whose fees are less than $20 and I check my shit. I’ve already spent hundreds of dollars on the ticket, if I can’t afford another 20 bucks I can’t afford to go, period. And yet even on those planes there are still the psychos who insist on doing the carry-on dance. Seriously, how much shit do you really need?!

For me it’s not even about the cost, but airlines trained me early not to trust them with my stuff.

They’ve broken my luggage and damaged my camera tripod, and refused to even consider a claim for damage. They’ve lost my luggage twice: once it took over a week to get it back (thank god that was on a trip back to home); and once they lost it on a bloody puddle-jumper from London to Amsterdam. That one left me stranded in the airport because, silly me, I didn’t think it necessary to carry an extra bag for a weekend trip just so I could have my address/phone book with me, so I was stuck in a foreign country with no way to even call my friends to let them know what was going on. Thankfully in that case they had two daily puddle-jumpers, and I’d been on the first (on purpose, as I’d wanted as much time in the Netherlands with my friends as possible – so much for that), so after a six or seven hour wait they managed to put my bag on the next flight over. Otherwise I would have been stuck in the airport overnight. I was, btw, early for the flight, so they really had no excuse for not getting my bag on the same plane I was on. It was a small flight, there weren’t that many passengers/luggage, and as far as I could tell mine was the only one left behind.

I don’t/didn’t even fly that often, so that kind of sticks in your memory. So nowadays if I have to fly, I carry on simply because if I’m in control of my stuff, I know it won’t get lost or run over by a luggage truck. If I’m going for a long enough trip that a large bag is necessary, I get really nervous about whether or not I’ll ever see it again.

[kayaker]

@UncleRojelio

When they announce boarding, you can usually find me still snoring in the lounge until last call.

I’m not snoring, I’m in the bar chugging down my third bloody. Then, when I board, I’m hoping that they will have to gate check my carry-on. Free checked bag!!

[Laggard]

I don’t get it either. My favorite are people who at the end of the flight pop up like so many stupid jack in the boxes the second the plane is done taxing, then have to stand there for five minutes with their collective thumbs up their arses until they can get their stuff and exit.

[RTFirefly]

On airlines without assigned seating, there are obvious reasons to try to board as early as possible:

1. To get the exit row if you can, since that has more legroom.
2. If you’re flying by yourself, to get a window or aisle seat.
3. If you’re flying with kid(s) (as Maastricht pointed out), to get seats together.

I should note that on Southwest, families with kids get early boarding if at least one kid is 4 or under. A 5 year old is still going to want to be with both mommy and daddy - at least, I’m sure that will be true of the Firebug - and when this fall rolls around, we’re going to have to make sure we get online 24 hours ahead to get in a good boarding group. We’ve gotten spoiled by the perk of early boarding.

[hogarth]

I don’t like standing crunched in the middle of a mob of people. So if I had my druthers, I’d either board the plane near the very beginning or way, way at the end after just about everyone else has already packed their stuff away and sat down.

[silenus]

Since I only fly Southwest, it’s important to be one of the first to board. That way I get a choice seat (aisle, emergency exit or row behind emergency exit, window.) These have the most room. Since I can travel for a week out of a medium-sized soft-sided bag, I can stash my luggage almost anywhere.

[RTFirefly]

@delphica

If there was an airline that enforced this, and set up a dumpster at the gate so anything that didn’t fit in the allotted per passenger space was forcibly taken from the traveler and thrown away – not checked at the gate, not stowed away in another section of the plane, but THROWN IN THE GARBAGE – I would be that airline’s most loyal customer.

I’d like to see airlines charge for space in the overhead bins.

That’s where the real scarcity is, rather than in the luggage compartment, so I’ve never figured out the sense of charging for checked bags.

Here’s how I’d have it work:

At the ticket counter they’d have an exact replica of an overhead bin, with marks dividing the bin into halves and thirds, lengthwise. Any carry-on that won’t fit under the seat, you give to the person checking you in, and they put it in the bin to see how much of the length of the bin your bag will take up. If it takes up less than 1/3 of the bin, they charge you for 1/3 of the bin. If it takes up more than 1/3 but less than 1/2, they charge you for 1/2. If it takes up more than 1/2 but less than 2/3, they charge you for 2/3. If it takes up more than 2/3, they charge you for the whole thing.

(The idea here is that most carryon bags are big enough that you can’t get more than 3 in a bin.)

However much your bag takes up, they put a tag on your bag authorizing it to take up that much room in the overhead bin, and charge you the going rate for that space. Without a tag, your bag gets tossed in with the checked luggage.

Coats, umbrellas, and other things that can be squeezed in around the mini-suitcases that take up most of the overhead room, get in for free.

When the bins are sold out, then anyone else’s carryon has to be checked. But price the bins so that the bins rarely sell out, but are generally about 80% full, give or take.

[mnemosyne]

The main reason for charging for checked baggage (well, for a second bag…charging for the first bag is greed) is actually weight-related; the airplane doesn’t care how big something is, it cares about how heavy it is. People rarely carry extremely heavy carry-ons, and one bag is allowed to be 23kg, and anything over that is charged more because it has a bigger weight cost to the aircraft.

There’s also a greed component - by trying to limit people to one suitcase, there’s more room in a standard plane for a pallet/box of bulk cargo and it’s more profitable to carry the equivalent (or less) weight of lettermail or toys than it is to carry people’s underwear and change of shoes. Most of the larger planes carry regular cargo in addition to passengers and luggage.

I kind of like the idea of charging for large carry-ons, but I think that would be less popular than even starting to enforce standard or maximum shape/size rules. Passengers are bitchy and most feel they are the exception to all the rules.

[Sister_Vigilante]

@markdash

Sounds like you have heard that Louis CK bit about flying.

I’ve seen that. Great bit.

[Anaamika]

@kenobi_65

But, that’s only an issue on airlines which don’t have assigned seating. In the U.S., I believe that Southwest is the only airline with open seating – all the other majors (American, United / Continental, USAir, Delta / Northwest) all still assign seats.

(And, in the U.S., most airlines do “pre-boarding” for families with little kids and people who need extra time to get into their seats, anyway.)

Yeah, but they don’t always assign you TOGETHER. My SO and I just flew back from Vegas on Continental, and during the first leg, from Vegas to charlotte, we were in totally different sections - miles apart from each other.

[wheresmymind]

I don’t understand the First/Business class boards first convention, at least on medium-haul planes where everyone boards from the front. If I’ve paid for a premium for my cushy seat, I’d rather sit in the lounge drinking/reading than sitting there trying not to look as the dregs of humanity file past you and bump your elbows/swing their purses into your face for 20 minutes. I always fly coach (we’re all getting there at the same time), and even I feel bad for them!

[kenobi_65]

@Anaamika

Yeah, but they don’t always assign you TOGETHER. My SO and I just flew back from Vegas on Continental, and during the first leg, from Vegas to charlotte, we were in totally different sections - miles apart from each other.

True enough (and it’s happened to my wife and me on occasion), but fighting to be the first on a Continental jet won’t fix that.

[Rachellelogram]

1. The competitive instinct. There’s no rational reason for me to want to be first in a line of cars while driving to work either, but I do. At best it shaves 2 minutes off a commute that’s already almost a half-hour. But it feels like I’m winning!
2. The desire to take action. Sitting in a terminal is unbearable, because it falls under the category of “waiting.” But sitting in a plane sooner is more psychologically satisfying, because you’ve crossed from “waiting” to “going.” People would rather be in go-mode than wait-mode.

[Hermitian]

@wheresmymind

as the dregs of humanity file past you

For those of us in First Class, the technical term is “the Parade of Poverty.”

It’s supposed to be amusing to you as you sit there with your mixed drink in your hand thinking about how much better you are than all those parade participants.

[kushiel]

I don’t fly often, and it’s always for pleasure, not business. So the whole process is exciting for me still and the sooner I get on the plane, the sooner my fun vacation becomes real!

On the way back home I just get annoyed by the wait and want something to happen after waiting in the airport for 2 hours.