Why do people have speech anxiety

In My Humble Opinion
21

As someone else pointed out, there is a natural instinct to avoid being the center of attention (unless you happen to be egocentric in the first place :slight_smile: ). This is why most people prefer to avoid having to give speeches.

When I was growing up, I was terrified of standing in front of the class for any reason. Even though it’s been well over 30 years, I can still remember having to go up to the blackboard to write out a math equation in front of the rest of the class, or write out a spelling word, in first grade. I was dyslexic at a time when dyslexia was not recognized as a disability, so I regularly wrote letters backwards, or reversed digits in numbers. When I did this on class papers, the teacher simply marked it wrong. When I did it at the blackboard, the teacher pointed out the mistakes to the rest of the class, making me feel like less than nothing. For the rest of elementary school and into middle school, it was impossible for me to stand up in front of a group of people to talk for any reason. I was a good student, and made a lot of effort to make up for the dyslexia, but I was also introverted and rarely volunteered any information in class.

In junior high, though, I helped my mother with a play that she was in at the local community theater. In watching the rehearsals for the play, I realized that all of the actors were simply pretending to be someone else. I decided that if I could pretend to be someone else, I could certainly act in a play, so I auditioned for a play, and actually got a speaking part. That led to several active years in the local community theater, as well as the high school drama club (where I was often in plays, but also acted as director for several plays).

Now, I am a university instructor, and I’ve been teaching for nearly 20 years. It means that I regularly stand up in front of a group of people, and run the risk of making a fool of myself. I do make mistakes, but I’ve accepted the fact that everyone makes mistakes, and I don’t really care if anyone judges me only on the mistakes I’ve made in front of a class. However, I’ve also learned to “act” and improvise while teaching. The “me” that stands up in front of a class to explain how to use a particular feature of Word is definitely a different “me” from the person who hates having to figure out small talk at a party, and who jumps when the telephone rings.

In other words, I’m still basically an introvert, and prefer not to call attention to myself when it’s not necessary. However, I’ve learned to adapt by accepting the fact that no one is perfect, and I do have the right to make mistakes, especially if I am willing to accept the mistakes, laugh about them, and correct them as I recognize them.

22

When I was younger, I was terrified of public speaking, but in my first job after college, I was dropped into the deep end of the pool, giving a presentation on a subject that I had barely learned in the one month that I’d been with the company. Once I got past the first five minutes, I fell into a groove where I was just talking at length about my limited understanding of the material, and smiling and taking action items whenever I couldn’t answer a question. That was great. In the 20 years since then, (I hear that) I’ve become even better, but I still barely sleep the night before. However, now I know that it’s only going to be the first few minutes that’ll be uncomfortable.

Better than imagining the audience naked, I just keep in mind the reality that 3/4 of the audience is not really paying attention, and then search out the one or two people who seem particularly interested and talk towards them for the bulk of the presentation.

My advice: when taking questions, don’t take anything personally, and don’t feel stupid. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you,” is a wonderful, freeing statement.

23

I love public speaking. Acting too. Just point me at a stage and I’m off!

I spent several years on my church Drama Team doing short playlets, Christmas productions and the odd monologue. Before that, I took Drama from Gr. 8 right through High School.

Now I work as a zookeeper/tour guide/presenter. That means that between cleaning cages I get to conduct on-site tours and off-site presentations, mostly of the classroom and birthday party type. I’ve also run Nature Club.

The first day I did presentations, the second show involved standing up in front of a whole parkfull of people and using a handheld mic. I had to show and talk about twenty-five or so very live and unpredictable animals. Thank goodness the worst that happened was that our “model”, an audiance volunteer, got a tarantulla’s claws thoroughly stuck in her shirt!

Yesterday I did shows at three children’s birthday parties; the largest being about thirty people. I loved every second of it! Tommorow it’s a kid’s club, Wednesday it’s a school…bring 'em on!

I don’t really have any advice, other than to echo what’s already been said. Really enjoying your subject makes a heckuva differance and you can’t be too prepared. Don’t rely too much on a set script, though. As I deal mostly with children, I get interrupted a lot. I have to be able to pick up where I left off. Of course, it’s pretty easy in my case. “Hmmm, it’s got fur and big ears…oh, right! I’m on the rabbit!” :wink: I’ve also got a great assistant. If I bog down, she just gives me a cue and off we go.

Once you relax, it’sthe most fun you can have standing up! :wink: :smiley:

24

I love speaking in public also. In fact I’d far prefer speaking in front of hundreds of people than making small talk at a cocktail party. I just came back from handing out some awards in front of about 1500, running a panel in front of 300 and giving a talk in front of 250 or so. I particularly like making people laugh in technical presentations.

One hint that no one does - involve the audience. My talk involved polling the audience about something in the talk. It gets their attention and makes them focus on you more.

It might be genetic. My wife does not like to talk in public. Our daughter who is more like her doesn’t like to speak, our daughter who is more like me does.

I’ve never needed any of the tricks - I just do it.

25

I hear ya!

26

But that’s not all there is to it. I used to dance, professionally, and had no problem jumping up in front of a crowd of any size to dance. And it was because I knew I was (and am) good at dancing. Just as I took years of dance classes, one should also learn to speak publically.

27

Afraid of failure.
Afraid of success.

28

I work as a wedding minister on the weekends, so I’m usually speaking to groups of about 20-100 people. The first time I did it I was absolutely terrified, but I got used to it pretty quickly. Now, it’s the most relaxing part of my week.

Your audience makes a big difference. At a wedding, most of the people there (especially the two people right in front of you), are there because they want to be, are at least kind of interested in what you’re saying, and aren’t going to intentionally disrupt you. Talking in front of an assembly of kids who’d rather be outside and aren’t shy about telling you that is a whole different animal.

This may seem counter-intuitive to the 6-person rule mentioned by the OP, but I’ve found that the bigger the crowd, the easier it is to talk. 200 people is just a mass of humanity that you can let your eyes skim over as you give your speech. It’s like talking to a painting. When it’s only a dozen or so, I feel much more self-conscious about making eye contact with each individual.

29

Yes, but you took years of training and went in front of the audience with a more-than-reasonable expectation that you were going to perform as practiced. Somebody who rarely speaks in front of a crowd doesn’t have the “support” that experience brought you.

30

Just noticed your location line. What HS do you teach at, JOOC?

31

Yucaipa High School

32

Never heard of it, but a quick Wikipedia search shows that you’re a few counties away from me.

33

Fear of making an ass of yourself.

I’ve had to whip up Powerpoint presentations complete with demo a few hours before curtain time. Fortunately, I haven’t had people come up to me after and tell me what an arse I made of myself. Which could mean good things, or bad things. :eek:

Being excited about the subject helps, too, I think. I’m pretty nervous when I stand up, but when I actually focus on the subject and start getting into it (notes help keep me on track – be they post its, index cards, or whatever), it all falls away and I can keep blathering on. One thing that helps is to try not to speak in two languages at the same time :slight_smile: If I do, I tend to get hung up in either sign or verbally, and we stop while the interpreter gets me unstuck.

And yes, it does help to make people laugh during presentations, but try to keep it down.

Please, try not to bullshit. Like the other poster said, “I don’t know but I’ll find out and get back to you” is a wonderful thing.

34

Back in high school I spent massive amounts of time putting together the perfect PowerPoint and the perfect speech on notecards. I found out doing a presentation to my Spanish class today that what really helps is knowing your topic well enough to babble on and on. Spend hours on Wikipedia aimlessly wandering, picking up random facts vaguely related to your topic. Enough aimless encyclopedic wandering and you’ll be able to ramble for days. Lose your notecards? Hit “dead air”? Just start babbling about your topic. Being obviously knowledgeable–and approachable–seems just as important as being well-rehearsed.

MMV, and tends to, when it comes to the presentation to the Big Client for a million dollar contract, of course.

35

I dunno - I’m never nervous until right when I get up there :slight_smile:

I’ve been asked to speak a seminar for people considering gastric bypass surgery this Thursday evening. I’m post-op; my surgeon wants me to speak. I’m flattered, but also plotzing like you wouldn’t believe.

VCNJ~

36

One of the best explanations I heard about this was eye contact.

Making eye contact and holding it is dominating. When you are giving a speech, you have hundreds of eyes all looking at you and you feel dominated. You have to learn to not look at the audience as a whole, but to keep looking at different spots and different people. That way, it’s you establishing the eye contact and then breaking it at your discretion, and psychologically then you become the dominant individual.

37

I don’t have any issues with public speaking, and I also am totally okay with singing in front of people too. I guess it’s really just a matter of not caring much if I hose or not–in my experience if someone really blows a speech all it takes to get the audience back on their side is to say “Whoa, totally blew THAT one, sorry!” laugh and go on. Audiences mirror the speaker’s feelings, so if the speaker is scared, uncomfortable, nervous, or embarrassed the audience will share and magnify those feelings. Likewise, a confident, amusing speaker who’s being upfront about his/her feelings will have the audience in the palm of his/her hand.

I find it rather telling that it’s a well known meme that people fear public speaking more than death–it says we’d rather die than risk embarrassment. But really, though, what is so incredibly bad about being embarrassed? Embarrassment is something that can’t happen without your consent–if you refuse to feel it, nobody can MAKE you feel that way. Therefore, embarrassment is completely within our control and as such ought not to be scary.

I absolutely love it when a teacher decides to “teach me a lesson” by telling me I must stand up and sing in front of a class–I usually default out to “Sit on My Face” done in a really exaggerated Richard Cheese type style, or else a Pearl Jam song done in an Ethel Merman voice. It usually takes only one time before they figure out this particular tactic just isn’t gonna work on me… :smiley:

38

I can’t act. I can’t perform. Those posters who know me IRL know that I have a hard time striking up a casual conversation. I am, in short, painfully shy and insecure. That being said, I can go up in front of a group of people and give a decent-to-good speech, no problem.

I think it’s just that public speaking is a learned skill. I learned it in high school while on speech team, which I joined in a misguided effort to meet people (read as: angsty theatre types, yum). My subject was extemporaneous speaking, where you had 45 minutes to prepare a speech on a modern-day topic before giving it. I wasn’t great at the preparation–I had a crush on the other guy doing extemp, and thus was distracted–but I learned how to give a speech on almost anything.

I don’t think that most people really learn that skill, much as I never learned to act. I would be scared to death of acting in front of an audience, because I wouldn’t know what I was doing. I think most people would be scared to give a speech for the same reason.