[QUOTE=Sarahfeena]
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So, why am I so terrified? What I am really afraid of is that I will get up there and forget everything I planned to say.
Does anyone have any tips that will help me calm down?
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On preview I see much of what I was going to say has been said, but I will post it anyway for emphasis.
Have your practiced out loud what you are going to say? I don’t know how long you will be speaking, and how much is just sort of talking rather than a memorized speech, but I always found it helpful to memorize my first few minutes. Those are when you are most nervous, wondering what they are thinking, so having that part just sort of flow out helps until you get used to everyone staring at you.
I also tend to look for the “head nodders” who will smile and nod encouragingly at anything I say. There are always of few of those. I love those people and am one myself when in an audience because I know how much they can help.
Double check, make that triple check, your appearance so you won’t have to wonder once you stand up if your fly is zipped, or if you have food on your face. Find out ahead of time what the agenda is. If you are to speak right after dinner, then finish dinner a bit early and visit the rest room. Check your appearance, and do a bit of deep breathing. That will go a long way to lessen the butterflies. What butterflies are left, think of them as a big help to you. That extra adrenaline will come across to your audience as enthusiasm for your being there, and they will appreciate it. They don’t want to think you are sick to your stomach at the thought of speaking to them. They want to see you as excited to be part of their dinner meeting.
What is hard not to do, but new speakers tend to overdo, is apologizing ahead of time for not being a professional speaker, or being nervous. Those are things they know, you don’t need to point it out. If you forget something, or find your presentation points are out of order, no big deal, don’t keep apologizing for it.
Instead of saying, “Oh, no, that is not the screen that is supposed to be next,” you might say, “I didn’t plan on mentioning this part until later, but actually this is better point to start with.”
Or if you were originally told you would have half an hour, but things went longer and you only get 10 minutes, don’t use that as an excuse for a bad presentation. Saying, “Well, I was just told I would only have 10 minutes, that is not near enough time to explain what I need to explain, sorry this probably won’t make sense now,” will just make the organizers look bad and make the audience upset.
“I was just told I have 10 minutes. Luckily I knew that often happens at events like this, so I also prepared a 10 minute version that will cover everything that needs to be covered, so let’s get started.”
And like Zebra mentioned, when you stand up to speak, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Remember you were asked to speak because of your wealth of knowledge. You have valuable information that will be helpful to them. They want you to do well. They want to learn from you.
And with things like this, I am a big believer in visualization. Tonight and tomorrow when you have some spare time, you need to picture in your mind it going really well. Picture yourself smiling as you approach the podium and looking into the audience. Picture yourself being confident and relaxed as you speak. Picture your audience listening attentively and liking what they hear. Picture when it is over, you get heart felt applause. And when the meeting breaks up, people coming over to introduce themselves to you and shake your hand, thanking you for coming, telling you they enjoyed your talk and learned a few important things that will help them.
Most of all, try to enjoy the experience. I have given 1,000’s of speeches. Just last week I had agreed to be a guest speaker for an adult education class. In the car, I did the usual, “What was I thinking when I agreed to do this?” I quickly put that thought out of my mind and replaced it with, “I am really looking forward to meeting some new people. I am lucky to be able to talk about my favorite subject with people interested in learning more about it. All the time and energy I have spent learning about this stuff will now be able to take on a life of its own as I pass it on to others. I used to envy the others who knew so much about this stuff that they would be asked to speak at classes I attended. How cool is it that I am now the one who is asked to be the speaker?”
That pep talk, admittedly very silly, did the trick. I went in excited to be there and the audience picked that up immediately. It went great, I am so glad I agreed to do it. So as much as you can, try to think of this as something you are looking forward to doing, not something you regret agreeing to. It is natural to feel that way, very natural to feel nervous. But be glad you had the courage to say yes to the offer. As mentioned, public speaking is one of most people’s biggest fears. So just the fact you agreed to do it sets you apart from most others. Just knowing that should help you focus your nervousness and change it into a good feeling excitement.
Good luck, let us know how it goes.
Speech coaching is a fascinating little sub-category. I used to videotape speech coaches coaching CEO’s and exec types. I learned a lot. All of the advice here ( besides the scotch thing… ) is good advice.