Why do people insist on acting with emotion?

I have yet to figure this one out.

Why do people get mad at mere actions? About the only thing that can make me mad is if somebody continually insists that I am lying (I don’t. Ever. Period. Well depends on your definition of lying, I will lie about how hard I worked in a given day, say I spent 6 hours working and 2 hours reading, I will tell people when I get home to leave me alone because I had a hard day, but that is about the extent of it. :slight_smile: I don’t mind it when people call me out on that).

For instance, friend was tutoring (paid position), asked me in to help with some stuff on a logic loop (I love loops, I process the world in If Then and Booleans any ways, so loop statements are not a problem for me.)

Suffice to say 2 or 3 hours later. . . . (hey the loop was working, just some niggily math stuff, heh)

Any ways, friend goes storming mad, goes home, and is now very upset about the whole issue.

Well after some contemplation on the subject I finally figured out what I did wrong, another person who was far more advanced then either of us or the person being help aided us in some ways, which was not that bad of a thing, but I then went to the person to ask for reference on some facts about how to do some silly assed thing which I had previously asked my friend about, who did not know the how to do it.

Any ways, that was my mistake, co-opting my friends authority over the situation and placing another person into that position of authority.

Annnyways; thus my question is;

Given that that was the most efficient course of action to be taken at the time, WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID MY FRIEND GET UPSET???

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this species that it does not advocate the most efficient course of action at all points in time??? You people are horribly confusing. . . . :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

I mean on ONE hand I understand the psychological reasons behind the anger, on the OTHER hand I don’t get why the hell such emotions were not interrupted at the source and either countered or redirected in a more efficient manner.

How the heck do you people live with yourselves? So damn screwy. . . . .

Knowledge is life; Logic is Life; All else is irrelevant.

Resistance is futile; You will be assimilated.

Bleh, congrats on the originality, I have never heard that one before. . . .

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Besides, the Borg weren’t evil per say, they just had a bad PR department. :slight_smile: Seriously now, if they worked at improving their public relations a bit they could have being BEGGING to sign up for them. (though they would seriously have to change the outfits.)

Logic does NOT imply cold humorless existence though, rather it just implies not acting like a d*mb fuck. Getting angery at the actions of another is something that is quite silly, as is being depressed over test scores or such. (uh, dude, you have already TAKEN the test, being depressed DOES YOU NO GOOD! And actualy it can cause you to do worse, it is therefore most efficent in instead work HARDER next time, of which being depressed will NOT help you out any. That is an example (kinda) of (horribly holey) logical living.)

(being without humor leads to depression, depression can far to easily lead to Lots Of Other Bad Shit happening. Therefor humor is obviously a good thing. Not the full explanation but. . . . should suffice, fill in the blanks yourself. :slight_smile: )

…and all this time i thought i understood english!

Hey, I was trying to be as generic as possible throughout the entire thing, arguments over how hard it can be to use only gender neutral nouns in english have been gone over before, way to many times.

It is not pretty, but at least it is functional. Err, more or less. :frowning:

I was trying to cover up the genders of three people at once though, so yah things got a tad wee bit messy, heh. . . .

Oh relax, Kid, it was a joke! I guess I forgot the ;).

Seriously though, there’s more to life than logic. Don’t get me wrong—knowledge is good, logic is good. But their best use, IMO, is to improve quality of life. Which is not necessarily a concept amenable to logical analysis. Emotions have a role to play as well.

But I do agree about non-productive emotions such as depression, anger, and guilt. They should be avoided where possible.

Mr Spock, I have absolutely no idea what you’re blathering about. The best I can manage is that somebody got angry at you for doing something they didn’t approve of. Is that correct?

They got angry at me for giving the role of leadership/authority in the group to a third party who had previously existed outside of the groups confines.

The person to whom leadership was given to was better equipped to handle the situation; and my friend was unable to answer the questions being posed towards (uh, darnit! Insert first person gender neutral here).

Now then the most logical way to act would be to accept the change of authority as a necessary measure and learn from the new found source of knowledge;

but instead my friend is now off at home getting further and further depressed as time passes. Which is a rather silly thing to do; after all authority within a group is a non-corporeal thing and has no existence outside of that which we give it.

And quite frankly I make it a general rule of my life not to get upset about things that do not exist, and I just do not see why others do not do the same. :slight_smile:

Must be horribly depressing to actually have to worry about shit that doesn’t corporeally exist. Hell even more so for things that exist in non-corporeal form at all only through the willings of human minds! Leadership/Authority within the before mentioned group was not stated, was definitely not entokened by some 14 caret gold coin that was given out to the leader at the time, and existed only through general underlying, heck, unconscious group consensus.

As asked, why do people get freaked out over things that really do not even exist??
That is so horribly silly, letting none existing things have a negative impact upon your mental and even physical health!

Heh, sorry about the snap reply, I just get that sooo often that I tend to automaticaly react hostily towards people who say it (it does get annoying after the 20th or so time, hehe. Especialy when being said by people who /ARE/ serious about it. . . . ugh. Of course I have also been called an evil nazi because I refuse to do drugs so. . . . Bleh. Heh)

I believe in the progression of science solely for science’s sake, but that is a whole 'nother can of worms. :slight_smile:

Technocrats forever! :smiley:

I have to say, I agree with your feelings regarding useless emotional responses! It annoys me when someone will beat themselves up or say"I woulda coulda shoulda" instead of saying “Well I didn’t, I’ll learn and try better next time.” What’s the point of crying over spilled milk? This may not be exactly what you were speaking about, Com, but it is related.

Because people have very little control over their emotional responses. Chances are you somehow insulted your buddy by going to someone else. He ended up feeling embarrassed and channeled that into anger at you. No, it doesn’t make much “logical” sense. But trust me, everyone does it. I’m guessing even you have gotten upset at something that, to the other person, makes no sense at all. Control of our emotions is one of the most difficult things we have to learn how to do.

Hmmm… I’m thinking that if you take the big picture into account, we do advocate the most efficient course of action at all points in time. Your friend channeled what I’m guessing was frustration and embarrassment into anger. If you look at anger over the course of 2 million years of evolution, it probably helped us go kill that bison, protect our families from marauding bandits, and other such goodies. It’s only been recently that we want to solve equations and fix programming loops. Heck, even now, it’s only about 2% of the total population of the world that needs to do those types of things. Give it another few millenia, we’ll eventually evolve to the point where anger goes away if it truly isn’t useful.

That is indeed the viewpoint that I advocate, that modern day ‘advanced’ emotional thought can be easily derived from the more primitive emotions, but I also believe that we need to overcome those more primitive instincts cough stop fucking like rabbits cough and instead aim for control over our emotions.

Emotional control is actually quite easy;

here let me put it in bold since nobody every manages to get this one. :slight_smile:

emotional control is not about the complete elimination of emotions.

Rather it is about the REDIRECTION of those emotions into more efficient outlets.

For instance instead of being ANGRY that somebody has removed me from a position of leadership, instead I redirect my energies into curiosity and learning what new things I can from the new person who is in the leadership role.

Now when I DO appear to be angry about losing leadership it is ONLY BECAUSE I truly believe that I can do a better job for those other people around me, and I do get angry when I am forcefully limited to not being able to help out those others around me as much as I otherwise would be able to.

That is eventually what I figured out, but the question is WHY was the person insulted for it?

Hmm ok let me put it this way;
I understand what did happen, and I understand what would ‘typically’ be referred to as why it happened but I do not understand the why of that why.

err, hard to explain, heh. I ‘should’ be content by societies viewpoint to be ‘understanding’ enough to realize how I messed up and knowing how to avoid it in the future, but I am not happy with that. Instead I wish to know what underlies the human behavior or motivation that would make a person act in such a manner

Tomorrows winning lotto ticket numbers would also be nice too please. :slight_smile:


Ok I realize after expanding it out that what I am asking for is seemingly nearly impossible, but can ANYBODY PLEASE help me???


Why did jealousy/anger/hurt feelings/and such even enter INTO the equation? Why is my friend not capable of seeing that I did not mean to harm them*?
Do others just not spend so much time analyzing the actions of all around them and/or spend hours meditating on the causes of human thought and motivation? (ok that is an obvious no duh, but still. . . . ) How the hell do people even live their lives in such ignorance of what others going on around them are behaving like? While I may be horrid at manipulating people over the Internet, I easily excel at it in real life (this is the first time I have ever upset or angered this friend of mine), but this thought process of my friend’s was so outside of my paradigm of thinking that it took me a good three or four minutes just to realize what in the hell was going on!

Actually I feel partially guilty** because now I have hurt my friends feelings, of which that is something to feel guilty about (as such can easily have negative real world manifestations for my friend), but I just do not see as to, err, the WHAT of the WHY of the WHAT that underlyed the thought process of my friend’s feelings being hurt.

Of course it doesn’t help any that I am the sort of poor SOB who is overly empathetic and ends up damn nearly in tears when I hear that somebody else*** is feeling sad. :frowning: :frowning: :frowning:
(yah I know that is in stark contrast to my ‘don’t act/think stupidly’ approach to life. I am likely the last remaining living halfway sane logical romantic. . . . bleh dualism can SOOO suck at times, heh. Hopeless romantic, hopelessly logical. . . . That is definitely going to cause one HELL of a conflict in me one of these days. . . .)
*(bleh damnit, gender neutral singular again, screw it with being proper, too much of a pain, I am going for informal usage. :stuck_out_tongue: )

**err, hard to describe, not ‘guilt’ as in for my actions, for I believe that my actions were in of themselves morally and ethically correct, a promise had been made to help out another person and as such aid was to be rendered to that person at all costs (to an extent of course, not at ‘all’ costs but ‘at all costs’ on a scale relevant to the situation at hand), but rather ‘guilty’ or even, ugh, hmm, well guilty in the sense that I was not able to properly save guard my friends emotional wellbeing and guilty that I let my mania for solving the logical problem at hand push aside the concerns that I felt for my friend and the early on realizations of possible hazards that I brushed aside. I did not realize at that time, and while I do believe that I COULD HAVE realized it I also believe that it would have been a great difficulty for me TOO realize ( which is in itself rather odd, how do you realize something that you do not know you are searching for? Yet it happens all the time.) the problems that were being created by the situation at hand.

I did realize that my friend was going to be upset by the situation (and indeed earlier on I had had a careful thought that indicated potential authority and leadership role conflicts, but I had apparently mistakenly thought that such issues had come to an end), but I did not realize that it would occure to such a degree.

I did realize that my friend was going to be upset by the situation (and indeed earlier on I had had a careful thought that indicated potential authority and leadership role conflicts, but I had apparently mistakenly thought that such issues had come to an end), but I did not realize that it would occur to such a degree.
***Level of empathy depends on level of personal connection of course, I feel great empathy for even those whom I do not know, but I end up feeling sad almost to the point of illness when people whom I know closely are feeling bad. Oddly enough this creates a duality situation in which I have a lot of people coming to me for theraputic advice but I could never get a job as a professional councilor / therapist / psychologist. (for rather obvious reasons, the least of which being that I would never be able to bring myself to actually charge anybody money for my helping them. . . . damnit ethics suck some times, heh)

Not even going to BOTHER to grammar check this one, it would give me a headache.

Let AboveMessage = StreamOfConsciousRant

For someone who feels that people act on emotion too much, the OP was pretty damn emotional if you ask me.

Only difference is that I was expressing emotion, not acting upon it. I did not get upset or angry or sad, rather the biggest offence I commited was mayhaps the overuse of italics tags. :slight_smile:

Com2kid, lemme ask you – what’s the point of living efficiently?

For me, it’s more important to life well. And that’s not always efficient. It means living beautifully and ethically and honestly.

I think the last part comes most into play here: if something upsets me, it doesn’t do me any good to deny that it upsets me. I’m much better off recognizing that emotion and giving it free reign.

That doesn’t mean acting destructively, however. It means figuring out how to express and work through the emotion.

Maybe you’re wondering why people allow their emotions to take them over, and express themselves destructively?

I think the answer is that we’re creatures of flesh and blood, and emotions are pretty strong within us all. Even when you know that you should act a certain way, it’s often hard to follow through on that action because of emotions.

I’m wondering if you’d benefit from reading some psychology here; it sounds like you’re asking the sorts of questions that psychologists ask, and they might provide some decent answers. Better than I can provide at half-past midnight, anyway.


Heh. What I am trying to say is that you should not let it upset you, not to deny it, but rather to not let it exist at all.

Remember, your thoughts and your perceptions are exactly that yours.

Instead of being angry at another person saying something foolish, take joy in that which makes us all different and unique (do NOT take joy IN some bodies foolishness, and stay away from feeling superior, but rather experience joy of the human form itself).

I am wondering why they even bother for the negative emotions to begin with! Skip’em! :slight_smile:

(of course this is not always possible, but a ton of the ‘lighter’ emotions that tend to cause most of the trouble in todays society are indeed quite easy to skip right over. Stop worrying about being late, you do NOT need that tenth cup of coffee, trust me on this one, if you are going to be late due to circumstances beyond your control, they are beyond your control so stop worrying about it. Direct that energy into something productive instead, like coming up with a really good apology speach for being late. :slight_smile: )

Of course they are pretty darn strong, but they can be manipulated to suit a persons own ends.

For instance pride allowed me to start an exercise regimen and stick too it, everybody else said that I would give up after a day or two, so I knowingly and concisely used my own pride to ensure that I would stick with the exercising.

(worked too! :slight_smile: )

I prefer Psychiatry myself, better Quack to Bozo ratio. :slight_smile:

Emotions don’t operate in a vacuum. Perhaps your friend had a bad day? I know I’m much more likely to flip out over what others consider inconsequential things when I’ve had sucky day.

(Just something to think about.)

[ul]What percentage of dopers take these debates WAY too personal?[/ul]

[ul]TYPE A personality, that’s what! :mad:[/ul]