Like fishbicycle said, the real question here is why some people get so offended when somebody doesn’t like something they like. Plus, it leads to conversations like the one I had at work today:
“Hey, anyone interested in lunch from Shanghai’s?”
“Christ, that place is awful. Why the fuck do you always want to eat there?”
“Because it’s awesome, bitch. You want your usual?”
“Yeah, and ask for extra soy sauce.”
Reminds me of a conversation I had with my brother* in college (both of us were two typical sporty looking baseball cap wearing frat guys):
You listen to Sarah McLaughlin? You’re such a homo
Screw you! Your Tori Amos CD is way gayer…
Bullshit…Sarah McLaughlin is so gayer than Tori Amos…can I borrow it now?
*like same parents brother, not fraternity brother
I would choose “That’s not my taste” because it seems like one of the least offensive ways you can state that you don’t like something. You’re not offering a judgement on it’s quality/ies or lack thereof, or on people who do like it; you’re simply saying that it doesn’t appeal to you. I think it’s perfectly natural to want to share this kind of information.
“You like that? Hmm. Well, it’s not my taste” means “We have differing opinions”.
“You like that? Hmm. Well, there’s no accounting for taste” means “We have differing opinions and yours is wrong!”
But sometimes the other person’s opinions are wrong. And I’m just fighting their ignorance 
Most of the time I’ll state my preference instead of slamming what you like. For example, I’d be more likely to say “I prefer a Guinness” instead of “Coors tastes like dog piss.” But I prefer to be identified by what I like instead of what I hate.
I’ve never understood the people who put a “Calvin pissing on a Ford” decal in the window of their Chevy truck instead of a “Chevy Rocks” decal, or the ones in the last election who had a “Bush (or Kerry) Sucks” bumper sticker instead of a “Vote for Kerry (or Bush).” You hate iPods, Macs, and cats? Fine. But I’d rather talk to you about something you like instead.
That “can you here me now?” guy in the cell phone commercials, though? He must be tortured.
Hey man, I don’t need to… I can quit anytime I want. 
What if someone wants to you to listen to their new William Shatner cd?
I may not like somebody’s dog, but I would never just go and put him down without the owner’s permission.
[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
Can I ask a related question?
Why is it that some people, after you have said you don’t care for something, automatically assume you are saying that it sucks unequivocally, and that by extension, they suck, too, because they like it? Then they get all defensive and sometimes belligerent about it.
If I don’t like lobster, or death metal, or what-have-you, it just means that it doesn’t appeal to me. It’s perfectly fine if you like it. Any ideas?
[/QUOTE]
And another question: if you disagree with what someone says, why do they often assume you dislike them as well? Do people identify so much with things they like or do that they actually think that disliking something they like means you have negated them personally?
It all appears to arise from some need to appear/feel superior. Maybe it’s a way that people fight insecurity.
I didn’t notice ‘feel like the top dog’ in Maslow’s needs, but maybe he left that out. You see it all the time, though - not only disliking or disagreeing, but getting actively hostile and insulting with people who differ - from people who hate people who like TGIF’s :rolleyes: - to people who kill gay people or people of other races.
It’s not an attractive trait in humans, so I wonder why so pervasive.
In fact, it seems to me that an awful lot of people have trouble grasping and accepting the fact that people are not all alike, and most especially that people are not all like themselves. Somehow ‘not-me’ is bad, strange, different, threatening or something and must be rejected.
Where’s that thread on studies that should be done; don’t know if anyone’s studied this particular phenomenon. I’d love to see a cause found and a cure attempted.
[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
Can I ask a related question?
Why is it that some people, after you have said you don’t care for something, automatically assume you are saying that it sucks unequivocally, and that by extension, they suck, too, because they like it? Then they get all defensive and sometimes belligerent about it.
If I don’t like lobster, or death metal, or what-have-you, it just means that it doesn’t appeal to me. It’s perfectly fine if you like it. Any ideas?
[/QUOTE]
Because when you use a put down, you may be offending said person’s sensibilities. For example, the PC and Mac debate. If I tell you that Macs suck donkey balls, and you’re a Mac user/lover, you may think to yourself; If this guy thinks Macs suck, and I own a Mac, he must think I’m stooopid. Debate/insults to follow, because you can’t allow him to think you’re stupid, even though you have perfectly valid reasons for owning a Mac.
I guess I pretty much answered what you already knew. Basically, you answered it in your own question. People think that an insult about something they like directly insults them personally because it insults the very core of your reasoning for liking the said object, place or thing. Precisely why you can’t have a reasonable debate about SUV’s. The ones that enjoy their SUV’s have a distinct reason for liking and using them, the foundation for the reasoning is usually set in stone. When someone attacks this foundation, it’s personal, because it makes you question your reasoning as if it’s bad.
[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
Can I ask a related question?
Why is it that some people, after you have said you don’t care for something, automatically assume you are saying that it sucks unequivocally, and that by extension, they suck, too, because they like it? Then they get all defensive and sometimes belligerent about it.
If I don’t like lobster, or death metal, or what-have-you, it just means that it doesn’t appeal to me. It’s perfectly fine if you like it. Any ideas?
[/QUOTE]
Because they’re too used to dealing exclusively with people who never make either
a distinction between “I don’t like it” and “it sucks”
or
a useful criticism. One of my coworkers has reviewed work by me a couple times: his review is just a list of “slide 2: don’t like. slide 3: ugly”. It may be true, but it’s not helpful.
When I have that problem, fishbicycle, I said “eh, eh, one moment! I didn’t say it’s bad, I said I do not like it. Nothing wrong with others liking it. Some people like (whatever), some people don’t. I don’t.” Usually I get back a meek “oh,” perhaps followed by one of those rant-questions along the lines of “but how can you not like it?” (sigh)
ParentalAdvisory, I think fishbicycle’s question was precisely why do people sometimes take as a put down (“TGIF sucks!”) something that was not (“I don’t like chain restaurants, why don’t we go someplace else?”)
Being a fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s shows, I’ve heard enough putdowns for two lifetimes. People think because they don’t like it, it must be bad. I don’t understand it myself. I just say “But you wish you had his money” and leave it at that.
See this thread about Kelly Osbourne.
The amount of personal insult directed towards celebrities is astounding. Do a search for “Kelly Osbourne” or “Britney Spears” and look at the number of people describing these women as trashy, ugly, fat, hideous, disgusting, etc. I mean, I understand preferring women of a certain body type or whatever, but female celebrities catch a lot of vitriol (and male, too - Tom Cruise for instance - just not on the basis of physical appearance as much.)
If these women were your friend’s sister or the person serving you food at a restaurant, you wouldn’t even think about saying anything like that. But the fact that they are being put in the public eye just makes them bigger targets, and they are so far removed from the average person’s life that they are practically archetypes and not even thought of as real people anymore.
I think celebrities offer an opportunity to “safely” put someone down, without having to worry that said celebrity is ever going to hear what you said, and an undertone of “they’re so rich and consequently spoiled that they deserve to be lampooned.” I think it’s all very fascinating stuff, the whole complex of celebrity-mocking, and I might even write a deeper essay on it later now that I’ve just gotten the idea.
[QUOTE=msmith537]
One thing I try to do is jettison from my life people and things who annoy the shit out of me. Putting them down generally sends a clear message “not welcome here”.
I’m not even talking about being mean to people. If one of my coworkers suggests going to the Times Square TGI Fridays for lunch, simply putting it down with a simple “Friday’s sucks” informs them that they should never make such a suggestion because there are so many better and more affordable restuarants.
[/QUOTE]
Why don’t you just say you’d prefer one of those better, more affordable restaurants? Since you know them so well, you could offer several options.
We have Friday’s & all those other chains in Houston, too. They suck. But, even down here, we’ve got many better alternatives.
[QUOTE=Bridget Burke]
Why don’t you just say you’d prefer one of those better, more affordable restaurants? Since you know them so well, you could offer several options.
[/QUOTE]
What do you think “TGI Friday’s sucks!” means? :rolleyes:
I don’t quite get it. The only thing people seem to like more than seeing someone succeed is seeing them subsequently fail spectacularly. Check out all the MTV and VH1 “where are they now” shows that mock has-been celebrities. These were the same networks that played their videos every hour on the hour a few years ago.
I imagine it has something to do with the fact that people love to be entertained but secretly harbor resentment for the success and wealth these celebrities achieve. By seeing them taken down a peg, it makes people feel good about their shitty little lives.
Of course the only thing people love more than a failed celebrity is a great come-back story.
[QUOTE=pool]
What if someone wants to you to listen to their new William Shatner cd?
[/QUOTE]
I’ll never go to TGI Friday’s like common people do…
If I’m telling someone I went to see Prince at a concert, and they interupt the story to tell me how much he SUX OMG!! then that person will get the smack down from me (or, at least internal rolly eyes). I don’t like unsolicited opinions, especially overly negative ones from inarticulate people.
I despise people who think they are the arbiter of what’s cool, who assume that they’re comments are always respected and appreciated. Although I do have discriminating tastes (at least I’d like to think I do), I prefer hanging around people who are easy-going and don’t have to put everything on a ranking system. And if someone is going to put something down, I’d at least like a reasonable explanation to go along with it. “Fridays sucks!” is juvenile and irritating, but “Friday sucks because all the food gives me heartburn” isn’t.
[QUOTE=msmith537]
What do you think “TGI Friday’s sucks!” means? :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
That if I’m ever in New York and taking you out to lunch, I should ask where do you want to eat, rather than follow my usual method of “oh, here’s a restaurant, let’s go in”?
Will you forgive me for having eaten in the TGIF in Times Square if I point out that to me it’s actually exotic? We don’t have one in every mall in Spain. I’m sorrrreeeeeeeee!
Really, man, there’s better ways to make a counterproposal.
[QUOTE=monstro]
“Fridays sucks!” is juvenile and irritating, but “Friday sucks because all the food gives me heartburn” isn’t.
[/QUOTE]
It’s supposed to be juvenile and irritating to the other person. To me it’s mildly amusing (mostly because I am joking around and don’t really talk like that). Especially the part where people chime in all serious with “b..b..but there are better ways to express yourself”.
That is the essence of why people like to “put down” things they don’t like. Because they assocate the person with the behavior or activity they dislike and enjoy getting a rise out of them.