I find that with most of my friends, there is a natural rhythm of communication, based on various factors like proximity, how busy they are, what’s going on in their life, etc. Some I might be hanging out with every other night after work,. Some I might get together a few times a year for special occasions, Some I don’t see for years until they blow into town or whatever.
One of my college buddies I see time to time. He’s really nice but it’s annoying because he’s super flaky. Like he’ll leave me a message out of the blue after 18 months. I’ll call or text him back and he won’t answer or maybe he says he’ll get back to me and never does. I don’t really care, but it’s like you’re the one who suddenly came out of the woodwork. But he’s always been like that. You can’t make plans with him because you’ll have no idea if he’ll follow through with them. And a lot of times it will because something like work or family came up, which is legitimate, except that because he didn’t want to disappoint you, he never told you he was cancelling!
Obviously, I don’t make a lot of plans with this person.
My sister was married to a guy who we all thought was a real jerk. Another sister, early in the relationship, asked her why she stayed and she said, “Well…the sex is good.” She and Jerkface ended up with four kids but they divorced after about 20 years of marriage. He was still a jerk until he died.
I thought I read a quote attributed to Ovid saying that courtship is life’s nastiest little game, but my google skills fail me this morning or maybe it wasn’t Ovid. Males strut, women play hard to get, and if you find someone who’s easy to catch maybe they’re not worth catching etc. It’s a difficult game IMO. There’s also this Vegas thing where if you’ve lost $1000, you can’t leave the table because that’s like surrendering the investment so you throw more at it. In my sister’s case I know she needed money to raise kids but she also didn’t want my parents to say “We told you so.”
IMO one woman who is just off the charts scorching hot is Emily Ratajkowski. Is that another way of saying that evolution is telling me that I would like my children to have her genes? If she has my babies and her genes make them super attractive, then they compete well for partners and my genes are more likely to get perpetuated for another generation. If she and I were doing the deed, how much would I put up with? Hmm…quite a bit.
As for the platonic relationship ISTM there’s a cost-benefit thing to consider as well. When you’re dating, you might think that you’re willing to be exclusive under certain circumstances. But most people don’t have exclusive friendships. So if you only see a friend once in a blue moon, that’s ok. Low payoff but low cost. If they consistenly treat you shabbily, you can find other friends, stop taking their calls, etc.
I didn’t know who she was so I Google image searched her name. What struck me was how different sizes her lips and breasts come in just on the first page of results. Ain’t bionics grand! I wonder where they hid the knob to adjust the sizes?
Though you’re right, the original equipment version was seriously hot.
What the heck does this mean? I assume it’s some variation of been there, done that, got the teeshirt. Google only turns up you using this on The Dope and a post to a pharmacy board that I assume is you.
Do most people in this thread know what that initialism means? I don’t and I’m wondering if it’s commonly used by everyone like USA or PB&J are? Or if it was something that would normally have been explained?
How is someone posting a random string of letters (forcing us to look it up because they are too lazy to type it out on their phone) any different that if I starting posting foreign words here and there?
I don’t think that’s even allowed on the SDMB yet barfing out cutesy Facebook UKKFYTDJNFJ that just confuses people is ok?
The (apocryphal) boiling frog – people are generally nice during “courting” and only become jerks gradually. Plus occasional forward and back sliding. This means there was no obvious point to draw a line.
Often the only alternative is splitting up / divorce. And for this, you get a similar inertia to situations like, say, staying in a crappy job, or living in a crappy town. Pressing the “quit” button can be extremely painful, even when you’re sure it will quickly lead to a better life. So you tell yourself “tomorrow”.
I have a co-teacher who is a real pain to work with. The foreign teacher who was pared with her last school year spent the entire year stressed out.
The co-teacher is just not nice. Sometimes she simply won’t do the barest of minimum polite behavior, such as acknowledging your presence in the room. She’s bossy and uncooperative and always is looking to try to control everything, despite she her not being over the foreign teacher.
The foreign teacher last year got so stressed because he kept hoping she would be nice to her. We’ve talked about it many times and he just has to have people like him and can’t stand it when they don’t.
I don’t care as much because I just put her down as crazy so I avoid interactions as much as possible.
Is this a whoosh? The common expression is “been there, did (done?) that got the t-shirt.”
One big part of it is given by Jackmannii in post #8, i.e. that sometimes people who are big negatives in one or some areas have a lot going for them in other areas.
But another big part of it is that the picture people paint when talking about their problems in “advice columns, message boards etc” is frequently very inaccurate, incomplete, and misleading. As in, frequently the partner are not really as bad as being presented, and/or the complainer themselves has their own issues which contribute in no small part to the problems they are facing. And the significant thing is that at some level, they know it or at least suspect it. So this complicates their decision-making. Other people, who only see the black-and-white picture being drawn, think it’s a no-brainer decision, but in reality it’s quite different.
Indeed. In real life, I’ve run into these folks who complain about their SOs to their friends, but they aren’t exactly the best mate themselves (and leave out a LOT of context - and the friends are expected not to mention them during the vent session). The complaints, obviously, make the complainer come across as a saint.
I wonder where they hid the knob to adjust the sizes?