If someone tells an offensive rape joke and I say “Don’t do that in front of me,” and they apologize and don’t do it again, I’ll judge them to be okay.
If the same thing happens and they say “Oh, what’s your problem? You are so sensitive. Why don’t you find that funny. I’ll say what I want to say,” I know I’m talking to a total asshole.
And let’s make some Holocaust jokes in front of my Jewish Boss, whose mother survived it.
People here are awful focused on rape jokes, but the OP only offered that as one example…
No, Darwin Award recipients are laughed at, not because they’ve violated society’s conventions, but because they’ve violated reason and common sense. Throughout history, many noble people have defied society and earned our respect. But someone who, while attempting burglary, stupidly gets stuck in a chimney . . . that’s simultaneously horrifying and hysterical.
Rape jokes, being a rapist, plus IME the Venn diagram matching
people who think you should enjoy rape jokes and that being a rapist is ok
with
law abiding, with a good job, sociable, polite, friendly
has zero common elements. The two sets don’t even touch.
I-- what?
This part is important to note. Judging people on a single incident that may seem offensive but is actually a mistake is just as bad as that mistake. We can better judge on how people can interact and improve themselves. There’s a big difference between an inappropriate joke and an actual belief. Some people just can’t tell when or where or what kind of humor is appropriate and I won’t hold that alone against them, and I hope people treat me the same way, but many people don’t have the same mature attitude you have.
Sorry, I was unable to parse your word salad or how it related to what I posted. Can you rephrase, reformat, and possibly repunctuate?
Also, how do they feel about jokes involving THEIR groups? If a Catholic tells a rape joke and you follow it up with a rape joke about a priest and a nun, are you suddenly telling the worse joke on earth and should be crucified for it?
If they think “It’s okay, but not about my group” it’s stupid.
He did not “only” mention rape jokes as an example. He mentioned thinking that rape jokes are funny, being a rapist, and those as “people who are perfectly nice, upstanding citizens” (rephrasing, while in my previous post I did not).
“Rapists, people who think rape jokes are funny” and “perfectly nice, upstanding citizens”? Not IME.
What about when you tell someone that you are a Democrat, or a Republican, and the person on the other end of the conversation thinks you are the worst person in the world for having registered for the wrong political party.
Trying telling people you are a pagan. Whenever anyone tells me “Well, you’re not even Christian” to win any argument I just shut up and move on.
Anyone who seriously believes that “X topic is never funny” is a humorless scrooge, regardless of the topic. Humor pretty much has to be offensive to someone in order to be funny. Hell, I know people who are deeply offended by puns. Don’t be like them.
Excepting Hitler and the top brass, even Nazis were probably mostly decent people just trying to get on with their lives. Certainly most Republicans are decent people, barring a few high profile wackos like Cruz. I don’t really judge people by their beliefs, I judge them by their actions. And in this particular case, speech doesn’t count as an action. As long as you aren’t actively racist, sexist, etc, I could care less who or what you joke about.
I once went to a pub to meet my boyfriend at the time and some friends of his. I’d never met these friends before. They greeted me with not just a joke, but a whole ‘routine’ of rape-humor.
I didn’t respond well, and I was not impressed with my boyfriend for having these people for friends.
A week or so later, I saw these people again at a party (at my bf’s house) – they repeated the whole routine again!
I was explicit, once again in my displeasure. Maybe it is possible for rape jokes to be funny, but these people (a couple) allowed me to form my first impression of them on the back of it. And then thought it would be funny to tease me for my dislike of their ‘humor’ as their second impression! I wasn’t judging them for this one thing only – this was the thing they chose for me to form judgements about.
My bf broke up with me shortly thereafter. I’m pretty sure my dislike of his friend’s comedy was a big part of it. As far as I’m concerned, I dodged a bullet.
Introducing yourself with rape jokes is a big ‘when people tell you who they are, believe them’ moment, I think.
Like fuck they were.
No it is not, it is better to respect the fact that people suffer incredibly because of rape and they find your jokes either incredibly offensive or downright traumatizing.
Not sure what you are even referring to here.
You are making light of the worst event in a very large percentage of the population’s lives.
Yes, it really does.
Well, are we talking about the 8 million actual party members, or the 70 million Germans who voted for them, fought for them and supported them? Do you really think there were no decent people out of those 70 million? Or even the 8 million? These people were mostly victims themselves, going along to get along under a shitty totalitarian regime.
Yes, they could have risked their lives in a heroic effort to stymie the Nazi elite. But is that what is expected of an average “decent” person? Or is it considered “heroic” precisely because we don’t expect the average person to take those risks?
Is every last person who voted for Bush literally evil, because they enabled his violent, stupid war against Saddam? Or do you think most of them are just normal, albeit misguided, people trying to do their best based on the propaganda they’ve been inundated with since birth? Is every last NSA employee evil for spying on their own citizens for no other reason than to enhance their power and increase their budget? Or are they just regular Joes trying to keep their jobs by doing what the boss says? Is every soldier who fought for a bad cause evil? Even if they were drafted?
I think the easy answer to the OP is that everyone is human and we are all sinners, whether or not you believe in any religion. No person is bad because of a single view they hold, and in a society where we seem to forgive people for actual heinous acts as long as they are remorseful and it’s been a long time, I can’t see why we’d hold a person’s thoughts against them.
And BTW, there is no subject that cannot be funny. If you’re going to joke about something really sensitive, you’d better actually be hilarious and not just tasteless, but I find that many professional comedians actually do write good jokes about taboo subjects, like rape, cancer, genocide, yada yada. I would not consider any of them bad people nor would I consider those who think they are funny bad people. You’re only bad if you force your dark sense of humor on people who find it unfunny.
I’m always looking for reasons to dislike someone. There are 7 billion people on earth, I know maybe a few thousand of them from personal experience and through the media. I have a few dozen relatives, coworkers, and friends. I spend time with maybe a handful of that group. I truly care for even less.
I don’t need reasons to like someone. I’m at my social limit, I neither want to expand my social group nor re-examine myself through the lens of new people. So I’m going to give people the least amount of leeway possible when I meet them. Do 10 things I like but 1 thing I don’t like? You’re outta here! Unless we both share a unique fascination with a certain niche that I cannot get satisfied anywhere else, I don’t need or want more people in my life.
Well then, by all means, please continue raping the rape-horse until it’s dead. I just thought it might be nice if we diversified the thread a little bit (which now seems to be happening anyway).
FWIW, the movie Yellowbeard included a few rape jokes, and I thought they were pretty funny. I hope you don’t think of me as the devil.
Ann said that Claytie reminded too many Texas women of their first husbands. (Of course he was a Republican.)
Might certain avant-garde artists find humor in rape? Hey, I’m not calling for censorship.
But if I meet some amateur in a social setting who thinks rape is funny, I’ll remove myself. If I hear crap like this at work, I’ll report the idiot to HR. Nazi sympathizers? Nope. They can fuck right off.
Life is too short to waste time on fools. If we’re talking about a “belief” they actually hold & they’re not some dimwit repeating a joke they didn’t understand, my contempt would only grow.