I have never had an adult call me Mr. Cooking. I have *children *of friends of mine call me Mr. Gas, but if I am closer to them I have them call me Mr. Cooking. The custom in my wife’s country (Egypt) is to call friends parents as “Aunt” or “Uncle.”
I’ve always thought of it as a Southernism that reflects familiarity yet still a need to be respectful. For instance, a child would not call a complete stranger “Miss Mary” but might use that term for the very friendly older woman next door who always gives her a cookie after school. Calling that woman “Miss Blankenship” every day might seem so formal as to intend keeping a distance, but calling her “Mary” would be far too informal and disrespectful.
So “Miss Mary” is a compromise that conveys respect but not so much formality that it seems awkward. The same usage was found among Southern blacks talking to familiar whites, for the same reason.
I just remembered that my house cleaners – a married couple from Brazil – both call me “Mr. Ding,” and I assume it’s for the same reason I stated above. We’re very comfortable and friendly with each other, but they want to convey some measure of respect because I am the client.
This is a southern thing. I tend to use it when talking to/about older women. It’s a respect thing, I guess, but also an affectionate term.
I don’t call just anyone Miss So-and-So.
Use of “Mister/Miss FirstName” is also an artifact of local New Orleans culture, and it cuts across racial lines. This form of address is commonly applied to adult neighbors, barbers/hairdressers, friends of one’s parents or grandparents, the parents of one’s friends, one’s in-laws, etc. For instance:
Adult neighbors: Mr. Ken, Miss Estelle (yes, even though she’s married, it’s “Miss”)
Barbers/Hairdressers: Mr. Bubby, Miss Cheryl
My parents’ friends: Miss Marian, Mr. Freddie
My friends’ parents: Miss Gloria, Mr. Robert
My in-laws: Mr. Dave, Miss Yvonne
In the same vein, my children (age 8 and 4) address mine and my wife’s friends as “Mr./Miss FirstName”. My son’s pre-school teacher is Miss Jean, and his kindergarten teacher will likely be “Miss FirstName”. His first-grade teacher, however, will be “Miss LastName” (again, “Miss” even if married). Can’t explain that cut-off, but it’s there.
Accurately and succinctly explained.
This isn’t just a Southern thing in the U.S. Around here (Montana), it is an artifact of schooling. As an example, one of the local bus drivers is called “Mr. Bill” by the kids. As the kids grow up, they keep calling him Mr. Bill. After a while, the whole town calls him Mr. Bill.
I live in PA. It is common enough. Not super common, but you hear it.
Hm, I live in CA and every preschool teacher I’ve ever known has been called Miss Joan or Miss Patty. My mom does storytelling at the library, and is known all over town as Miss Firstname (despite the fact that she’s over 60 and has been married for 40+ years–with a teachery title like that, it’s always Miss).
It’s more friendly than Mrs. Lastname, but still conveys authority and respect. Just in a cuddly way.
I’m a woman in the mid-South USA.
In the positions that I’ve worked since living here, I’ve either supervised blue collar (mostly) guys or been in an administrative position in their workplace. I’ve been Miss Firstname for sixteen years to most of them.
These same guys will call a woman under 40 in the same position as they are simply by their first name. A woman over 40 seems to automatically get the Miss treatment.
To paraphrase Dingbang, it’s friendly but adds a degree of formality.
I get that occasionally, but in my own particular case I usually chalk it up to the fact that my first name and my last name are both relatively common in either position (i.e. if you didn’t know me and were given both my names without being told which is which it wouldn’t be **too **astounding if you got the order wrong).
I’m a middle-aged white guy, and I notice some of the middle-aged black women with whom I work doing that. Nobody else. It’s a little odd.
On the other hand, Abraham Lincoln preferred his friends to call him by his last name.
hey blinkon!
It’s also common in the North in the African-American community and it’s very commonly used by South Asian and Latin American immigrants.
This is also pretty common in the United States, especially among high school boys, especially jocks and military types.
Addressing people by last name was once common in professional situations and in schools.
I seem to recall a “pyramid” of forms of address in the British class system which started and ended with bare given name and peaked with Mr. family name. I can’t recall where I saw it, though.
I have been addressed in this fashion–somehow people have gotten the idea that my first name is “Smartmouth”.
I have that same problem! How curious.
The Hawaiians I know use Auntie and Uncle. Shucks, I know one woman that is so widely called “Auntie Kaui” that I googled “Auntie Kaui” and find pictures of her.
There is nothing wrong with that. It is just a little old fashioned or maybe the partner was ex-military.
Frankly, addressing people by their first name is sometimes a hassle, since you don’t need a large department before you end up with duplicate Steves and such. I actually had to work in a department with another Joel and it was a pain.
They might be saying “Smartmouth” but they’re thinking “smartass.”
Would you rather us refer to as Excellent from now on? I’m pretty sure if you send a PM to a moderator, they can arrange for your username to be changed.