No need - “Excellent” is my family name. Hasn’t always been, of course - when my great-grandfather came through Ellis Island, the clerks couldn’t be bothered to write “ExcellentWithTheLadiesFearedByMenRespectedByAll,” so everything else got dropped. Great-grandpa thought “Excellent” sounded more American - and besides, there were a few exes he was trying to avoid - so he stuck with the new name.
There’s a janitor at work here who started off calling me by “Miss [first name]” and now just calls me “Miss”. I vastly prefer “Miss [first name]” – just “Miss” sounds so awkward and subservient to me. Other people (all co-workers, oddly) have called me “Miss [first name]” always in a polite or even affectionate way, so that doesn’t bother me at all.
And then there’s the coworker who calls me by my last name, which no one else in my life has ever done. I’m always tempted to say, “What am I, your Army buddy? Just call me by my first name already!” but the timing is never right.
I have honestly not run into this, except that it’s the fashion (hereabouts) to teach kids to use this form when addressing adults. e.g. I’d be Miss Mama, and my spouse would be Mister Typo.
Oooh - now that I think about it, though, our kids’ former nanny always called me Mrs. Zappa (though when I phoned her, I’d always say “This is Mama”), and she called my husband “Mister Typo”. Huh.
That noted: to me it does indeed sound like a more subservient way of addressing someone.
In the DC area, a friend’s daughter addressed me as “Mr. Firstname”. It seemed to be a southern Maryland thing.
Other friends’ kids call me “Uncle Firstname” and my wife “Aunt Herfirstname”.
I don’t care for the “Lastnameonly” form of address from anyone other that peers at my exact level. For my students, it’s either “Mr. B” (literally) or “Mr. Lastname”; I ignore students that address me as “Lastnameonly”.
I regard it as a Southern thing, and wonder if it is something like diet that White folks adopted from Black folks during Reconstruction.
With that in mind, I wonder if at times at work if it is sometimes meant to be demeaning or insulting to be called that by African Americans.
No, I hear it out here. The dudes at my service stations (where I also park) call me “Mr. Firstname”. It’s the idea that they know me enough to be friendly, but are showing respect to a valued customer.
It’s out of respect. It’s a Southern thing and it’s a Black thing, and although I was not raised with this, I do it too now when I introduce my children to an adult in an informal situation, or when addressing an older neighbor. I think it’s very appropriate.
Men addressing each other by last name was fairly routine, especially in office settings. It also might happen when a two men had been introduced and were on friendly terms, but not yet sufficiently familiar with each other to use first names. In my part of the world, though, that was long before I started working.
Come to think of it, there was a gym teacher at my HS who used the guys’ last names. This was early 1970s, and we thought it odd.
Having read all these replies, I’m confused ! So is calling a person by her/his First name using Titles (Mr. Mrs. Miss) normal in the US or no?
I can tell you in the US. In Boston, MA I went by Mr. First Name. Now that I’m at Detroit, MI I get referred to by Mr. Last name.
It’s a regional cultural thing to your area. So I can confidently say, New England states go by Mr. First Names.
The US is a very big place with a very diverse population. In some areas it’s common for some people in some situations. For example in most of the country, it’s common (or at least not unusual) for children to address adults this way. In one place I lived, the owner of an Indian restaurant my family frequented would address his customers that way, and it stood out as being “foreign” and probably the result of not “getting” American culture perfectly.
OTOH, my mother lives in a small town in the south and has a black housekeeper/nanny who adresses everyone the family as Mr./Miss [firstname] and it doesn’t strike anyone as unusual at all. (I reciprocate and address her as Miss [firstname], which is [I think] how my little sister addresses her. My mother and stepfather just call her by her first name with no title. For me, it’s a point of treating her with the same level of respect she treats me. For my sister, it’s a matter of her being a child addressing someone with authority over her. Though actually I can’t remember if she uses the Miss or not.)
On the third hand, I have a friend who almost always greets me when she first sees me as “Mr. Alan!” It’s just a joking way of being pseudo-formal in that case. If I did the same to her, she’d likely think I was making fun of her.
If someone I was introduced to did it, I’d think it was very unusual. If someone in a doctor’s office did it, I might assume it was a way to maintain privacy by avoiding last names. If someone with a strong accent did it, I’d think it was a common and well-meant error. If someone without an accent did it, I’d make a different assumption that may be positive, negative, or neutral, depending on the circumstance.
It’s like asking if wearing pajama bottoms in public is common in the US or not. When I was in university, it was pretty common for women to show up in class that way. There were probably a few men who did, too. I’ve almost certainly seen adults shopping at Walmart that way, but I probably thought less of them for it. If your students ask whether they should walk around in public wearing their pajamas when they visit the US, the answer is an unambiguous NO. But by the same token, they shouldn’t be shocked if they see Americans doing it. In fact, they probably will.
That would probably be an erroneous inference. It’s likely that he’s simply doing exactly what they do in India. It’s very common to use honorifics with given names in India, whether speaking English or another Indian language.
That’s pretty much what I meant. My only assumption is that he’s doing it because he doesn’t realize that it’s not a typical American usage, but it could also be because he thinks customers expect it or because he simply has no desire to Americanize this aspect of his speech.
Not quite the same thing, but I’m a teacher and it’s not uncommon for students to accidentally call me “Mr. Physics.” Usually they don’t even realize they did it until I point it out.
Or it could be because he doesn’t expect every aspect of his speech and manners to be scrutinized in this way. Indians are very comfortable with the idea of immense diversity around them, that people they meet every day have different ways of doing things and that there’s no strong expectation or need for everyone in the community to conform to a common set of behavioral standards in all respects, particularly in small things like differences in modes of address. Respectful intent is usually sufficient.
Actually, it’s often a kind of dominance game. Have you ever heard anyone call a superiour by just the last name? Nope. It’s either first name or Mr./Ms/Mrs. Lastname.
On the other hand, it’s also very common for superiors to address subordinates as “Mr/Ms/Mrs lastname”. That said, if they address you by last-name-only, they may be implying that they are your equal (whether or not you agree or care or if this is based in fact being beside the point)
This is very common here in Cyprus, I work in real estate and even lawyers I know will call me Mr Robert.
I’m 67 years old and lived in the sticks of farming lands as a kid and teen. I heard the use of Mr. followed buy the first name of a white adult from all blacks when speaking to white adults
as their forefathers did out of fear or respect (think about the time and you make the call).
I consider it to be a slave term that was held on to out of fear. I never let my kids use the term and they taught their kids the same and in some cases had to teach school teachers the same.
There is correct terminology which is Mr. or Mrs. and the last name and I let people know right away that I do not want to be addressed with slave talk of the past no matter how well meaning.
When you are known well enough to be invited into the household, but still need to give the appearance of respect, you might be in a house where there a dozen people named Mr, Mrs or Miss Smith. So you distinguish them, by Mr. Sam or Miz Mary.
Someone mentioned Cyprus above, and it was also my experience in the Middle East. My students called me Mr. Firstname, because among Arabic-speaking people, it was more customary to distinguish them by first name than last. Again, due to large families, one addressed people by a name that was unique to one member of the family. In fact, in my large university lectures, students assigned seating was alphabetical by first name, with all the Abduls clustered in the front row.