I rented tuxes for my two sons’ weddings, butso my daughter didn’t want to be that formal and my wife insisted I buy a new suit, although I already owned one, but it was 20 years ago and hopelessly (my wife and daughter insisted) our of date. That was 12 years ago and I haven’t worn it since. So sometimes men also buy new clothes, never to be worn again, for a wedding. Maybe they will bury me in it.
We really need a post Hall of Fame
I would agree. I was just countering the ‘off-the-rack’ assumption. If one went the Tuxedos-R-Us at noon for a 1:00pm wedding, one would likely be very disappointed (or end up with a poorly fitting suit), unless one is a very generic size.
First wedding I wore a cream tank top in linen and a mid calf length cream wrap skirt in a heavy nubbly silk [very homespun rustic looking] and flat sandals. Second wedding I was in jeans and a tshirt with sneakers, and mrAru was more or less wearing similar clothing. I disliked the idea of a huge foofy white monstrosity dress and formal wedding.
Obviously a fancy expensive wedding was not something I had wanted from the time I could look at wedding magazines…
I agree with the wedding industrial complex solution. Personally, I think bridal gowns should be limited to women in their 20’s, then in their 30’s a nice dress should do, and from 40’s on up, simple suits in blue, dove gray, white, and possibly pink. But that’s how it was done in my youth, so it’s an idea whose time has passed.
In the 80’s the AF used to have a women’s white formal mess dress (reputedly) designed explicitly for weddings. I went to a wedding with the bride wearing one, and very nice it was.
I don’t think you told us he was your brother before…
[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
…many of the things women wear for weddings have to be fitted rather than coming off the rack.
[/QUOTE]
But things coming off the rack make the wedding so much more interesting.
Also, no one’s really mentioned the basic concept that the bride *is *the wedding and the groom is pretty much just another accessory. That may be too-too old school for some here, but I’ve seen plenty of examples where the groom’s entire function prior to the ring ceremony was to stand in the corner and shut up. So who cares what they wear as long as it’s Ken-generic?
I think that was what post #2 was getting at.
Also, since when do men care about clothing?* I know guys who would show up in cargo shorts and flip flops.
- I know, I know… Some guys do care. I’m one.
Could be, if I’d seen it. 
A staggering number of wedding books still follow this 100% bride-centric nonsense. All but a few of the rest have simply inserted pages of groom make-do work to make it seem like two people are actually involved in the process.
Obviously there’s a million reasons why most women buy rather than rent:
They want something bespoke to them
They want something that fits perfectly - remember most dresses are figure hugging so need substantial altering to fit perfectly, which brings me onto…
Many women don’t want to wear a dress which has clung all day to the sweaty body of another woman, at least on their wedding day
Dress fashions change frequently
Long white gowns get pretty dirty after just one wear, dragging along muddy grass and dirty dance floors
Renting bridal gowns is actually still very expensive as, for the reasons above, most dresses can only be rented a small number of times.
I’ve noticed among most of the weddings I have been to recently that the groom often now opts for having a bespoke day suit made, rather than rent the traditional morning suit (the UK equivalent of the tux). These suits often cost quite a bit more than the bridal gown, but at least they get to wear them again.
That’s my guess too- I’ve been to a bunch of weddings and other formal events, and 99% of the men’s tuxedoes are some variant on black jacket, black trousers, black shoes, with some kind of vest/cummerbund and bow tie, sometimes also black, sometimes matching the bridesmaids’ dresses (which I think is kind of tacky). And the role of the men, in terms of their visual appearance is to be uniform, and to not draw attention away from the bride or bridal party. Never quite understood the point of having the groom wear a white jacket different from the groomsmen. Always struck me as kind of weird.
Bride and bridesmaids’s dresses are typically a lot more varied- in color, style and design. Some are gaudy monstrosities, some are sleek modern affairs, and some are in the middle.
That said, in the big gay wedding I’ve been to, the grooms both wore identical bespoke suits, and the wedding party people just dressed appropriately, without being uniform.
Another point is that there is a very large wedding dress resale market in the US - plenty of brides do buy their dress worn once, 2nd hand. They buy directly from another bride (craigslist, ebay,etc) or from a consignment or charity shop. My loose recollection (I was married in 2011) is that a wedding dress from one of the well-known designers will not get more than 50% of it’s original value, unless maybe it’s new and unaltered with tags – so that is a big discount for the buyer. And, if you bought it “used, worn once like new” and sell it “used, worn twice, like new” then you can get a nice chunk of your money back.
So, many frugal brides are not renting because they are buying or selling on the resale market instead.
That said, I largely agree with doreen that the amount of alterations involved make it very difficult to re-rent. It will not be a standard size again - in fact I recall when looking at used dresses that many brides post specific measurements of their dress, after alternations, because that’s way more useful than dress size.
But… but… but isn’t it like a law of this Christian nation that one of them has to wear a white fluffy dress symbolizing that his father jealously and expensively guarded his virginity?
<- just in case…
One did show up to the reception in the suit and heels, but I’m not sure if that counts…
It’s not just wedding dresses. A guy could buy a tux in college and wear it, with appropriate alterations, to everything for the rest of his life. Yet they have the option to rent a tux, and it’s not overwhelmingly expensive.
But women are pressured into buying a new expensive dress not just for their wedding, but for every formal occasion for the rest of their lives. All things to which a guy can just wear his tux.
It’s just how things are. Women have agreed to do this, so they do it.
Rent the Runway is almost as expensive as buying a dress, although they are designer dresses.
My dress was lovely but not complicated, and made for me by a friend. Her labor was her wedding gift. I kept the dress, but after being divorced eventually gave it to a second hand store operated by a church, in the hope some other girl could have a pretty dress she might not otherwise be able to afford.