As a guy, this one always seems to be a mystery to me. But I’m open to opinions.
I don’t
No women I know do
oh, except one who upped it when she thought a place wouldn’t hire her due to her youth. She owned up when they threw her a 30th party on her 26th birthday.
Why do men ask women for their age? Why do numbers matter to you?
In our youth-worshipping society, age is seen as something shameful. Millions, possibly billions, of dollars are spent annually on creams, cosmetics, surgery, and hair colors to disguise the natural process of aging. Women are fearful that once they pass their thirties all of their attractiveness vanishes, an idea which is reinforced by Hollywood, magazines, and advertising which carefully hints that aging is something that must be hidden at all costs. Lying about one’s age is just a way of preserving the illusion of youthfulness. It also could be denial, refusing to accept the inevitability of being known as “middle aged.”
This is part of the reason that some women have such a hard time with menopause. It’s the final death of the youth that they have struggled so hard to preserve. As a menopausal woman, they must accept that they have passed the target age of advertisers.
Probably for the same reason some men rake their wispy, dyed hair in a skull-strangling combover that wouldn’t fool a toddler.
Gee, it just might be a funky human thing about wanting to clutch onto youth as long as possible, no matter how foolish or transparent it may be to onlookers.
Duh.
Veb
I don’t get it, myself. My mom didn’t want me to tell people how old I am, for fear that they would then be able to guess how old she is. (It’s the same reason she wanted me to dye my gray hairs.) I think it’s silly; if they underestimate her age, that just means she looks younger than she is, right?
way back when, it was common for men to marry women who were much younger, but very uncommon for women to marry younger men. My mom was one such woman, 9 years older than my dad, and when I was growing up, she never revealed her age to anyone, even going so far as to take a hole punch and punch out the year of birth on her driver’s license. weird. I still have to do the math and think about it in order to get an approximation for my mom’s age, which is something like 75 now. Even being that close to it, I still just never quite understood the whole age obsession thing.
Lissa and TVeblen said it very well.
I am 48, and in general I think the women of my generation are handling the aging process a bit more openly than the previous one, but there are plenty of Botoxed, face-lifted and hair-dyed Boomers of both genders out there.
There actually seems to be a transition time for some women.
Early in life they will give their age to be as old as possible like " I’m 12 and a half". Then when they become about late teens they sometimes tend to add a year or two to their real age in certain circumstances. But sometime after that they sometimes shave off a few years and then when it becomes impossible to state a “believeable” age that will give the illusion of “youth”, then some go to the old stand-by line which is something like " one should never ask a lady her age".
I know that all don’t do this but enough do that there is a noticeable pattern.
I always found the refusal to tell their weights even more confounding. I mean, you look how you look. If the number were known that won’t somehow make anyone look heavier or lighter.
Not that I ask this question much, but I believe this reluctance is just about universal with women, and much less so with men. Even my wife, the most beautiful woman in the world, will not reveal this personal statistic.
Any thoughts on this? Or am I somehow getting the wrong impression?
(handy, this seemed in line with your OP, but if you consider it a hijack, feel free to post so, and consider my question retracted.)
I don’t lie about my age. I’m not terribly happy with this implication that all women do.
It 's just to add to the ‘mystique’. (Sort of “Sure she looks young, but is she experienced?”)
But to me, it’s all just numbers. Pick one you like, it’s an abstract.
Incidentally - one year I got all mixed up about my age and spent most of the year thinking I was 38 when really “only” 37. Very sad. All the same, I did get the amusement of the supermarket checkout girl asking if was sure I was 18 (ie - age to buy alcohol) Not for long though - I think the poor kid had forgotten her contct lenses that day!
I don’t lie and I’m not purposely vague. I just really don’t track it - so I end up saying “ummm, mid thirties?” Like Celyn, I’ve spent years thinking I was older or younger than I actually was.
Ah, yes, Celyn and Dangerosa, the memory is the first thing to go …
Plenty of women don’t lie about their age. Some men do, or do other weird things. As Veb said–clutching on to youth.
–I once had a friend who claimed to be 28. When we got to be better friends, he confessed that he was really 24, he just didn’t want people to know that he’d been married and divorced twice in 3 years.
–In college, one guy I knew wouldn’t give out his age or birthday. His roommates, his girlfriend, had no idea how old he was.
At the moment, I can remember that I’m 29, but I do spend months at a time thinking I’m a year older.
I think it’s silly. But maybe that’s because I look younger than I am! I cut my hair recently, and went from looking around my age (35) to a hell of a lot younger!
I have never had a problem with “spilling the beans” on my age or my weight, although other people have (I used to be VERY thin!).
My first reaction is that it’s all tied up in the beauty mystique. In the days when women were supposed to all be sex goddesses, admitting that you were over 40 was anethema, I suppose. The same thing goes for the weight issue. I have a good friend, Zena, who insisted from day one of our friendship that she was a size 8 and weighed somewhere around 120#. Now, Zena is a tall girl, and has a, um, hefty bottom. I knew that since I wear a 12/14 and weigh 165, she was lying. Years into our relationship she finally relaxed about it enough to let me witness her weighing at the gym. Yep. She’s about my size.
IMHO the trend for younger generations is away from this deception. I myself don’t lie about it (not that I’m so young). Heck, I’m just glad I got this far !!!
I’ll admit that I lie about my age. I’m not even sure why I do it.
Maybe, it’s because I’ve always been the youngest in my groups of friends and I kind of enjoyed being the baby. As I get older, my newer friends are younger then I am.
BTW I am really 31
I’ll be 49 in about 3 weeks - I’ve never made a secret of my age. Other stuff is no one’s business. Well, OK, I’ll tell you that I wear size 9 shoes. Or 8 1/2 W… depends on the shoes.
I’ve known more men who lie about their age, appearance, weight than women. Having said that, some women of a certain generation would have a seizure if you asked them how old they were; others are not bothered. I guess it comes down to personal preference.
I don’t lie about my age, bra size etc - what would be the point?