On-line you suck donkey ass at making jokes.
For safe humor, use a smilie until you’ve got the cycle down. 
Are you saying this in general? Like, you’ve been tracking my overall posting trends over the course of years and you’ve noticed this and you’re breaking it to me now? OK. Thanks for that. This is off-topic, but I’m taking my chronically ill dog to get put to sleep tomorrow, just decided that this evening. Can’t do anything about it tonight and I can’t sleep, so I’m stupidly passing the hours by reading and posting here. Don’t know if that has affected the shittiness level of my fucking jokes, but it’s possible, unless you just think I’m an unfunny moron in general, in which case, eh, whatfuckingever. And I think I’ll take a sleeping pill and go to bed now, because I’m obviously way hijacking this thread.
That wasn’t a joke, by the way. Not a ploy for sympathy either. Thought I should clarify that, you know, just in case.
Good night.
**Rubystreak **- we can all only know you as well as you choose present yourself online in general and in this thread in particular. In this thread you have been shrill and antagonistic - that is why your “joke” raised hackles rather than coming off as you intended. Do you understand?
I’m sorry about your dog, but it sounds like you’re stressed out. Maybe you should step away from the keyboard for a bit.
Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. Poor doggie. 
Good luck to you.
I would really, really hate to be the comedian who followed your act.
(Sorry about your dog.)
Yes. The thread did not go how I thought it would and I still don’t quite get why, though I think it has something to do with me being too pissed off about it to speak rationally or be funny when I try. Also, and overall indictment of my sense of humor in general seems a bit of an overglobalization, unless people have something to tell me and they’re choosing now to do it. Unfortunately, it’s coming from posters who I don’t even know who they are, so it seems like a drive-by kicking, but maybe that’s the stress talking.
Absofuckinglutely. I really don’t have a sense of humor about unwanted pregnancies or anything to do with it, so probably that’s coming out in my tone. My friend’s tribulations WRT to his custody have made me feel kind of bitter. And my dog dying, and the wedding, and the flu… I’m having a bad fucking week.
Tomorrow is the last day of work. I’m a teacher, so I can’t even call in sick and stay with my dog and nurse the head cold. Also, she weighs 85lbs, so unless I want to physically drag her into the car, I have to wait for my fiance to get here to help me. That ought to be a fun fucking day at work tomorrow. ARGH.
This thread has been a total disaster. I apologize to all involved. Where’s that Ambien?
ETA: Vinyl Turnip, you are a total bitch, but you always, always make me laugh. I’d hate to be the comedian who followed your act. Hat’s off to you, you snarky sumbitch. 
← for/from the humor impaired
It went off poorly because you are not communicating effectively (a lesson I learned hard with my last Pit trainwreck). And accusing other posters of “drive-by kicking” when you started the thread with this particular tone is to laugh. Seriously - you set yourself up to be misunderstood, and you should expect people to call you out on it in the Pit. The way you tried to throw your “joke” at the end of this pile came off like a sleazy woman at a party trying to hug you drunkenly and be “best friends forever!” right after you just caught her telling your boyfriend how she’d like to blow him. IOW, your attempt to defuse the situation went over like a lead balloon.
Your name sticks out to me because I’ve seen you in other threads and admired your posting ability. I know you aren’t this lame and I genuinely hope next week is better for you. FTR, I have very little sense of humor about unplanned and unwanted pregnancies myself.
I breastfed my child two weeks short of 2 years. It would have been nice not to get periods for, at least, a significant part of it. Even though I was breastfeeding exclusively I got my period the same day my child turn 3-mo. Luckily I got a Mirena IUD 40 days after my C-section. I wasn’t going to gamble on the reliability of breastfeeding.
Even with the IUD we combine the Rhythm Method and condoms. As soon as I can I am going to get myself “fixed”, short of no sex that is the most reliable method I have found.
I had a friend whose husband had a very low sperm count and mobility, plus she wasn’t ovulating due to hormonal imbalances and had tube scarring. She had quats with in-vitro and after two years of trying. Her doctor told her not to worry, chances were nil that they would conceive on their own. Almost 10 months to the date she had another child.
So being told that I totally have zero sense of humor in general is warranted because of my terrible tone in this thread? Wow. OK. Good to know and so noted.
Obviously it went over like shit, but your attempt to ascribe motivations to me, like I was trying to defuse something, or make up to someone? Wrong. I wasn’t trying to do shit but make a joke and failed miserably. I don’t care to make nice with anyone, you should know that if you follow my work here. Your metaphor describing your incorrect attrbution of my motivation is fucking mean, but hey, it’s the Pit and you’re obviously enjoying yourself and think I deserve it, so please by all means, go to. I’d be the last person to tell you not to do that in the Pit if it’s fun for you.
This week apparently I am this fucking lame. I told myself I wasn’t going to post about personal shit in the Pit anymore, much less start threads about it. It was a moment of weakness that goes on and on. Lesson fuckin’ learned. Thanks for that, again.
Honestly - how can you not see that the way you have presented yourself in this thread affects how people will perceive your joke? Does the word “context” mean anything to you?
OK - I’m wrong. What then was your motivation to make such a lame joke if not to defuse a trainwreck that was going poorly for you? If you just want to make lame jokes, MPSIMS is —> thataway. The audience is much more receptive. I’m sorry if I misinterpreted your motive, but that seems to be the usual MO for this sort of thread.
Are you always this histrionic? I don’t “follow your work” - whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean - nearly enough to know.
I didn’t realize how pissed off you were until, ya know, just recently in the thread. There are still people coming in to post that WhyNot was wrong, at least anecdotally, in their case. So pardon me if I didn’t know I was not supposed to post something flippant because there was chum in the water. I really didn’t know it was going to make you and others flip out on me. The “context” that was clear to you as “Rubystreak better watch her ass,” wasn’t clear to me. It was a bad joke, fine, but I didn’t know I was on fuckin’ eggshells.
How about, I thought incorrectly it would be a funny response to IntelSoldier? It was a response to him, someone who hadn’t actually posted to the thread before, not someone I was trying to make up to. Didn’t know I had to defuse shit nor would I feel like I had to even if I did. Why the fuck would you assume that I was trying to do anything other than that? Because it helps you to make lame metaphors of your own, I guess.
WTF, do I have to lay it out for you? It’s a thread about women lying about sexual issues (a hot button issue for Dopers, I now know). A man comes in talking about his wife’s headaches, so I make a poorly rendered joke about women lying about headaches to get out of sex. That’s CONTEXT for the joke. A bad joke, not phrased well. I deserve all this shit for it, accusations of failed ass kissing, etc? Really? Honestly? Or are you having a bad fucking week too?
I feel I’ve given enough context for my histrionics. What’s the context for yours? I don’t follow your work either, but I definitely have an impression of it now.
It didn’t look like a joke and there was no indication at the time that it was supposed to. Just chill out and turn off the computer. You’re just getting yourself all worked up. The more you post the more you’ll catch. Just drop it.
Well said. I believe I’ll take that advice as well.
I actually talked to a (college educated) young man who expressed surprise that a baby does not develop from the head down, with the feet developing last, just before birth. No kidding.
I got pregnant with #4 the day my period was due. Only my cycle had (unbeknownst to me) been thrown off by the rupture of an ovarian cyst 2 weeks previously, the pain of which I took for <em>mittelschmirtz</em> such as I had been experiencing every month at ovulation.
I got myself fixed with Essure when #4 was 6 weeks old. I passed the dye study test 3 months later.
I got pregnant with #5 (ended in miscarriage) when #4 was about a year and a half old.
I got myself fixed via surgical tubal ligation 6 weeks later.
I have no illusions about the infallible efficacy of even surgical sterilization, much less ‘predictable’ menstrual cycles. Or of ‘birth control pills’ - I know too many families with babies conceived that way. Or of condoms, ditto. Basically, mother nature WANTS reproduction to happen, and will go to remarkable lengths to accomplish it.
I once had a girlfriend who swore by this. I knew when she started that I was going to get all I could stand and more. 
The only drawback was that it wasn’t quite as good as the rest of the time. At the risk of TMI, there is such a thing as too much lubrication.
In reference to earlier discussions about parents discussing sex & sexuality with their children:
My father had “the talk” with me, but didn’t go into the hot and heavy details of these sorts of issues. What my parents did - which I think was fantastic, in retrospect - was to conveniently leave a book all about the topic on the end table by the couch where I’d always sit and read magazines. Didn’t say a word, just left the book there for a few months. I’ll tell you what, the moment they left the house I dove into that book. I read the thing cover to cover. I would sneak downstairs at night, snag the book, and sit in the bathroom reading for 20 minutes, then put it back exactly where it had been.
I thought I was being sneaky at the time, and revelled in learning this “forbidden” knowledge.
In retrospect, I fully suspect they put the book there with the expectation I would read it.
Rubystreak, don’t take this the wrong way - I’ve always assumed you chose to present yourself on the Dope as a bitch - not an unlikeable bitch - I don’t have any overwhelming negative impression of you, but a bitch. If that is not how you are choosing to present yourself, you may want to sit back and look at how other people are reading your communication because I don’t seem to be alone.
I am ok being an not-unlikeable bitch. I am as sitting back and looking at that as I’m going to get. That’s my persona here, so be it.
ETA: When I woke up this morning, my dog was dead.
Rubystreak: your presence is requested over yonder. (Don’t panic, it’s not a Pit.)
So wait, sex isn’t good for a headache?
d&r