Hubby says its just coincidence and that MA sucks so people need to flee to nicer places but it really is getting depressing.
About 3 years ago my best friends in the whole world decided Maine would be a better place to live and moved.
Then a year and a half ago my every morning coffee buddy decided Vermont would be a better place to live and moved.
Then I reconnect with an old college friend who up and decided Florida would be a lovely place to live and moved.
I make a new friend who also suddenly decides Florida would be a better place to live and moves.
Now my scrapbooking buddy is all but sure she feels California would be a better place to live and plans to move in a few months.
sniff So the running gag is if anyone wants to move out of state the decision will be made after having dinner with us. It’s not that funny to me anymore
tanookie, that sounds very painful. I know that’s hard - we moved away from all our friends recently, and that was hard also. We still haven’t made many friends up here, and it’s especially driving my wife nuts (I at least meet people at work, but she doesn’t work).
You probably already know this, but to reassure you - no one moves to get away from someone, especially not one of their friends. You move for financial reasons (job, cost of living, etc.), climate, I even know someone who moved for “political” reasons, or for family, or to move TOWARDS someone else (usually a spouse or prospective spouse). As painful as it is, I don’t believe for a second that they’re moving to be away from you.
And just remember - it’s probably painful for them as well. Drop them a card or something from time to time, see how they are, they’ll appreciate it, and you might get something back.
On the lighter side, I just left MA yesterday, too. In fact, I leave MA almost every day. (I’m generally back the next morning for work again.)
NE Texan, I know they aren’t running from me personally it’s just very hard to make good friends and then to have them go so far away! The distance is hardest right now as it is tough to travel pregnant and with toddler in tow!
We’re also in a new town. We moved about an hour and a half from our old town so we could be nearer my husband’s family and help them out with stuff. I don’t work and I haven’t found many places to meet new people around here.
I started going to ceramics but everyone there is older and their kids are grown. It’s fun while I’m there but these aren’t people I have much in common with.
I try and keep up with letters and pictures and email and stuff but I miss having people to get together with for dinner or to have our kids run amok together while we just hang out and chat.
That’s gotta be a crappy commute too! I’ve seen the traffic reports and they are never pretty!
Thanks for the commiseration Simple Dreamer and Rocky
I wouldn’t say ALL your friends have left the state. I mean, look at me. I feel we’re pretty friendly, but I have never even BEEN to Massachusetts, so it would be pretty hard for me to leave now wouldn’t it?
Aww, Rue, you are one of my very special SDMB friends! My week just isn’t complete without that MMP!
I suppose, J66, that I will start meeting other kids’ parents when the munchkin starts school but that’s a few years away. I had been taking her to tumbling before I got pregnant again but the parents there had a clique that I just couldn’t break into I did try!
I went to college in Lowell once upon a time. I’ve been pondering some classes a little more local but again I need to have this baby first so any new ventures will have to wait until after New Years.
And I would love to have a job, honestly, but I don’t have a lot of job skills and none that pay more than daycare costs. That leaves working in a store nights and weekends… a great way to meet high school kids and not have any time with my hubby. We’ve ruled that out for now.
Right now I’m just frustrated by being in limbo mostly. I had a life and friends and volunteer work in addition to my family and now all I have is my family. I am a lucky girl to have such a great family but I miss being more social. Of course finding new friends would limit my SDMB time!
You know, I shouldn’t have used the phrase ‘get a job’. That does sound judgmental, doesn’t it?
I think working in a store two nights a week is exactly what you need; gives your husband his time with the kids, you see lots of people, have some interacton with adults, leaves you mentally and emotionally free to concentrate on the family …
wait a minute.
found it
“We moved about an hour and a half from our old town so we could be nearer my husband’s family …”
They should be making some effort for you, even if it’s just introducing you to the visiting nurses who come once a week.
Don’t rule out people outside your age group; the will have parents and children and younger or older siblings or friends.
But you know all this, and will try all this, and just want someone to say ‘it’ll be fine.’
On the plus side, tanookie, we went looking at houses kind of in your neck of the woods today (Amesbury). Of all the so-called affordable places to buy a house in Massachusetts or Rhode Island, so far I like that community the best.
Who kows, maybe we (and our munchkins) could end up being neighbors!
Isn’t it insane looking for homes in MA, Lorene? I had major sticker shock when we went house hunting! The inlaws live in Groveland and every time people ask why we didn’t move there I try and explain we just didn’t have the extra $50- 100,000!
It’s totally insane—and very depressing. Who are all these people buying houses (to the extent where housing sales are allegedly at a high) and what do they do for a living??
Have you seen that commerial where the guy asks “How do I do it?” Change scenes and he says “I’m up to my armpits in debt.” That is the answer. Some of those big houses have very little furniture and the cupboards have lots of dried beans in them. [sup]It ends with him saying “Someone please help me!”[/sup]
What I wonder too is how people can get a mortgage and two car payments and groceries all with the money they make.
We drive used cars that we were able to buy without a car payment.
There are some houses we drive past where the landscaping alone probably costs these people what I paid for my house. (Never ask a landscaper for an estimate… I wanted some shrubs removed and almost had a heart attack - hubby did it with a borrorwed chain saw)
Actually, it’s generally not bad at all, except for Friday nights. (Barring a major accident, which will mess up traffic anywhere it happens.) But it’s because of the same sticker shock everyone mentions above - we moved here from Texas, and even going far North of where I got a job, we were still in sticker shock. (Or up here, perhaps that’s “stickah shahck”.)
This is precisely where my wife is, so I sympathize with you. I don’t have any help (“gee, thanks”, I know) - in fact, I’m reading the thread in case I can pass on suggestions to my wife - but I do sympathize.
Are there any mommy groups around? I’ve found a couple here but I swear I have the worst luck. I started going to one two weeks before they lost their meeting place! grrr
The other one was a group more interested in comparing new toys (and not the little tykes variety) than in being friendly.
Beats me. However, that’s one I would avoid. I should have used “approximately” instead of “precisely” - our only child is starting the 8th grade on Wednesday. Given that my wife just had a hysterectomy for health reasons earlier this year, I think that connecting with a “mommy group” would just make her burst into tears.
I’ve been trying to convince her to take craft classes or get into craft groups, but she hasn’t found one she was interested in, even though she does lots of crafts.
hugs to your wife! That’s not an easy operation at any stage in your life.
I did crafts until I got a munchkin - she makes it hard to do anything as you need to be an octopus to fend her off. Right now I scrapbook a lot and do ceramics - these seem to be popular hobbies and there are lots of places that offer classes. Unfortunately I haven’t really connected with anyone in the classes in any kind of ‘we should hang out’ kind of way.
I have also noticed the craft show circuit up here is pretty well developed. They have a nice one in Salem, NH and in Toppsfield, MA that we visit a lot. Maybe there’s something in that for her.
(We will be missing the fair this year as I will be far too uncomfortable to take that much walking)
