Why Guitar Aficionado is all about the Douchebag Lifestyle (Jim Irsay, Colts Owner)

[WordMan]

I am not sure why the magazine Guitar Aficionado so offends my sensibility. A huge portion of it lies with the whole “Aficionado” angle - Cigars, watches, bourbons - we get it: you’re an insecure rich dude whose attempts to assert culture and taste reside in the need to have a wide variety of stuff you actually know very little about, but looks impressive to your Rich Guy buddies.

And part of it is that it hits close to home - I’m not rich, but I am a middle-aged white guy with some disposable income. I have gotten into stuff - collecting books, acquiring some cool guitars - where there’s a very fine line between a passionate geek and a douchebag aficionado. I am constantly on guard for that line (when, really, just being yourself and relaxing makes the most sense) so to see a magazine that celebrates that mindset just…irks me.

But, damn, it has some nice guitar porn photos. I was in Grand Central Station in the big magazine shop - sure enough, the latest issue has a photo of Jeff Beck’s '54 Esquire. Okay - maybe I’ll just buy this one issue…

But then, I read this article on Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay. Omigod. This guy is an idiot and the magazine, in lovingly sucking up to a guy whose only qualifications to be featured is having a ton of money, offers gloss-over language stating as much.

Some examples:

“Jimmy still has that burning love for music,” say Mike Wanchic, John Mellancamp’s longtime guitarist and friend of Irsay’s who plays and records music with the Colts CEO at his Echo Park studios in Bloomington Indiana. "I’ve never known anyone in my life more involved in lyrics. It’s beyond impressive the amount of study he’s done. He’s truly a scholar of rock and roll and folk and contemporary music.

Okay - you have a journeyman guitarist who’s been asked by a rich guy to hang out with him in his studio (which Rich Guy probably built out) and who Rich Guy uses to assemble his collection (because Rich Guy has no ability to do it himself). And now the journeyman guitarist is asked to comment on Rich Guy in Douchebag magazine - what does he discuss? Passion for lyrics? That’s code for “he’s a clueless twit who pays my bills; in return I listen to him babble for hours about deep lyrics…it’s a living.”

Chris McKinney, who’s now Irsay’s personal guitar tech and collection archivist, met the Colts commander shortly after he assumed ownership of the team. Irsay had stopped in the music store where McKinney was working, looking for a new guitar. “He said, ‘What’s the best?’ and I said, ‘Most people would consider Martin to be the standard since they’ve been around since 1833,’” McKinney remembers. "He was like, ‘Cool, my buddies play Martin.’ Little did I know he was talking about Stephen Stills and Mike Mills.

There are so many things wrong with this quote (“Colts Commander”?!), but what kills me is that this suggests that Irsay first learned about Martin guitars in a conversation at a music store, like some new-money idiot walking to a Rolls dealership peeling off a wad of bills and saying “what’cha got that’s the best?” Never mind that Stephen Stills is a huge Martin collector and generally considered one of the driving forces behind Martin’s transition as a dominant brand from folk to rock. Irsay wants to collect guitars and doesn’t know where Martins stand? That’s like declaring you want to collect Impressionists - should that maybe include Monet? :rolleyes: So the article is basically portraying him as totally clueless about guitars.

Irsay - who, McKinney say, “is not a bashful player; there’s always scratches around the sound holes” - has not limited his search to celebrity guitars.

Code for “he can’t play for shit but he sure has a goofy smile on his face when he’s doing it.”

The mythic quality of Garcia’s Tiger guitar was also too much for Irsay to pass up, even as the bidding escalated to record numbers. “There are pieces like that that I really set my eyes on because they’re signature pieces and such an important part of history that you can’t go wrong with them,” Irsay says. He was, however, alarmed when he received the guitar and found - after lighting some candles and plugging it in - that it didn’t work. McKinney ascertained that the nine-volt battery that operates the guitar’s electric circuitry had been removed.

Code for…whaddya mean “Code for”?! This isn’t “code” for anything - the man is an idiot! He loved this guitar so much that he paid $957,000 for it, but didn’t know it featured active electronics?! He didn’t open the frikkin’ battery plate when he got it to put in a fresh battery - something the stupidest noob knows to do before gigs with guitars that have active electronics? And when the guitar didn’t work - again, did you check the battery? You didn’t - you called your Man Servant and whined like a baby that your $1million Jerry Garcia guitar didn’t work - wahhh! And your Jeeves looks at it and says “it’s the battery, sir.” And you let that story be quoted in a magazine as part of a loving tribute to you?! Can that anecdote scream “I am a rich idiot douchebag!” any louder?!

Argh. I really don’t get it. But I feel better after this little vent session; for those of you who made it this far, thank you and have a happy holiday season ;)

[Snowboarder_Bo]

I’m Bo Snoarder, and I approve this rant.

[DfrntBreign]

Well at least we know Jerry’s guitar went to someone who will get some use out of it. :smack:
And hey, at least he cared enough to hire a guitar salesman* to take care of his “collection” for him. :rolleyes:
Not to disparage guitar salesmen in general or Mr. McKinney in particular, but he DID have the opportunity to introduce someone who asked about the “best” to any number of incredible luthiers… and he tried to sell him a Martin*, of which they just happened to be a licensed dealer.

**And not that Martins aren’t fine guitars but DUDE! What’s the mark-up on Martins as compared to what you could have made on a hand-made Carl Thompson or a Breedlove? (or someone who is actually building high end guitars those are the only two names I could think of)

[Pork_Rind]

…and that’s why I’m thankful for my subscription to Fretboard Journal. Sure, it can get close to crossing the line between genuine appreciation and crass collectorism, but I think they do a good job balancing out the rare excessses. Plus I never get that strange, oily, unclean feeling that I get when I browse any of the Aficionado lineup.

[joebuck20]

Hmmm, I get the impression from the OP that Irsay is a douche.

[WordMan]

@Pork_Rind

…and that’s why I’m thankful for my subscription to Fretboard Journal. Sure, it can get close to crossing the line between genuine appreciation and crass collectorism, but I think they do a good job balancing out the rare excessses. Plus I never get that strange, oily, unclean feeling that I get when I browse any of the Aficionado lineup.

Totally agree. How’s that Huss & Dalton treating you, sir?

[Crotalus]

Since I was born and raised in Baltimore and suffered the trauma of Robert Irsay moving the Colts to Indianapolis, I am naturally predisposed to think anyone named Irsay is a major douche. Thanks for giving me a bit more reason. The battery story is priceless. I wonder if he had to have his tech explain the standby switch on his amps?

“My Dumble lights up but it won’t make any noise! Help me, somebody!”

Now WordMan will come back and tell me that Dumbles don’t have standby switches.

[Argent_Towers]

I went to school with Mike Wanchic’s daughter…she was, and still is, absolutely gorgeous.

[WordMan]

@Crotalus

Since I was born and raised in Baltimore and suffered the trauma of Robert Irsay moving the Colts to Indianapolis, I am naturally predisposed to think anyone named Irsay is a major douche. Thanks for giving me a bit more reason. The battery story is priceless. I wonder if he had to have his tech explain the standby switch on his amps?

“My Dumble lights up but it won’t make any noise! Help me, somebody!”

Now WordMan will come back and tell me that Dumbles don’t have standby switches.

[Crotalus]

This one has a standby position on the master switch.

[WordMan]

@Crotalus

This one has a standby position on the master switch.

Whew!

[sleestak]

Eh, there are a lot of people who, while very good at one particular thing, end up with tons of money and are quite stupid about the rest of the world.

The thing that kills me most about guys like Irsay is they pay huge amounts of money for things and then will probably end up not using them more than once or twice. The guitar will probably end up locked up somewhere instead of being used as it should be.

Slee

[WordMan]

@sleestak

Eh, there are a lot of people who, while very good at one particular thing, end up with tons of money and are quite stupid about the rest of the world.

The thing that kills me most about guys like Irsay is they pay huge amounts of money for things and then will probably end up not using them more than once or twice. The guitar will probably end up locked up somewhere instead of being used as it should be.

Slee

He’s got George Harrison’s '64 SG; the one used by Lennon on The Beatles/White album. Talk about a guitar that should be played.

I guess what cheeses me is that they expect a reader to read,say, that battery story and think “gosh, I wish I was that guy.” It just reeks of clueless disrespect to me.

[Marley23]

Isn’t aficionado the Spanish word for douchebag?

[Crotalus]

@WordMan

Whew!

It probably needs an “electrocute the douchebag” position.

[astro]

You whiny little bitches can bitch all you want, but wealthy guys collecting shit they like (but may not fully comprehend) is a major reason some fairly cool stuff has survived down the ages, and a lot of the time it gets donated to museums etc. when they die.

Honestly the OP sounds like a parody of the vinyl wanks in "High Fidelity’.

[CBEscapee]

Maybe I misunderstand but I perceive the term journeyman being used in this thread as some sort of put down. I’d say playing in the band of an artist of the stature of Mellencamp would mean the guitarist has quite a bit of talent.

And I get the feeling there is some jealousy at play here. And not just for the journeyman. Rich people have lots of toys. I would too if I were rich. Everyday I scan eBay and drool over some beautiful guitars that are beyond my reach financially. They’d be hanging on the wall of my own studio if I could afford them.

[Belowjob2.0]

@astro

You whiny little bitches can bitch all you want, but wealthy guys collecting shit they like (but may not fully comprehend) is a major reason some fairly cool stuff has survived down the ages, and a lot of the time it gets donated to museums etc. when they die.

Honestly the OP sounds like a parody of the vinyl wanks in "High Fidelity’.

This.

He’s got money, let him spend it on guitars. So much the better for guitar makers, players, teachers, techs, whatever.
Would y’all rather Irsay’s capital circulate or accumulate? Circulation is better.

[River_Hippie]

I like *Vintage Guitar *magazine.

[WordMan]

Journeyman is in no way an insult - he’s a practical professional doing what is working; more power to him.

As for my being a whiny little bitch, hey, your call. If you think a guy who buys a $300,000 Ferrari and then crashes it isn’t a bit of an idiot, and simply spreading more of his wealth, fine by me. In this case, I stand by my assertion that he comes across like a complete idiot.

Steve Martin is a rich guy who plays a mean banjo and knows his music. Author Jonathan Kellerman is a rich guy with an amazing, well thought out collection and solid chops. When Richard Gere’s collection was auctioned recently i complimented his taste in guitars. I got nothing against rich guys. It’s the rich douchebags.