Why has no one invented a good alternative to cigarettes or alcohol?

Indeed, nicotine is a stimulant. Stimulants affect the sympathetic nervous system, causing adverse effects including peripheral vasoconstriction, increased BP, and tachycardia. Developing a stimulant that does not have these effects, but still causes euphoria from the endorphin surge is a tall order. Developing one without addictive properties is an even taller order. Developing a hot fudge sundae with zero calories may be easier (but I’m crossing my fingers hoping they do!).