Why is [children's] Christian media so cheesy most of the time?

Darn those insensitive facts!

In the original introduction narrated by DeMille himself, he mentions both “the Holy Bible” and Jesus:

This remake is unquestionably a Christian version.

Well, instead of The Ten Commandments, we should just include the no doubt about it Christian Heston film, Ben Hur. Probably would get the point across better and I always liked Ben Hur more anyways.

I can only speak for Germany, but here explicitly Christian entertaining media is virtually non-existent (I don’t know any). <

I draw a blank for the UK as well.

Lord of the Rings has a certain amount of Christian morality embedded in it, but anything but explicitly. Not so Tolkien’s friend C.S.Lewis and his The Lion, the Witch and Wardrobe series, which Hollywood turned into the cringeworthy Narnia films. Tolkien was privately devout, Lewis loved to preach.

But it’s not just kids. Some of the most “gee they tried hard but it still stinks” art I have ever seen was religious. For really over the top, try Hindu art. It is just ludicrous without knowing what it is meant to represent.

Both Germany and Poland have at least one Christian (very Catholic) radio station apiece. I always wonder how they decide on what music to program. It tends to be bland, as you might expect.

What station in Germany is that? I honestly have never heard about a Christian station in Germany. Is it nationwide? I bet nobody but the most devout fringe of Catholics listen to it.

ETA: Or do you mean Radio Vatican? I seem to remember that they have a German channel.

A timely reply from Chronos once again. A question you could ask is why should the devil have all the good music?

A documentry movie can answer your question (good question by the way)

https://www.amazon.com/Should-Devil-Have-Good-Music/dp/B000BTITH6#:~:text=A%20lean%20and%20pithy%20documentary,of%20the%20Christian%20music%20scene.

Christians are actually capable of making excellent art, it’s not their fault some of them have been “misbehaving

What station in Germany is that? I honestly have never heard about a Christian station in Germany. Is it nationwide? I bet nobody but the most devout fringe of Catholics listen to it. <

Dom Radio, in Cologne. They have a signature jingle that is like a very deep, doom-filled bell.

Poland has Radio Maria, which is very political. Not for kiddies at all; its main audience seems to be old grannies.

Ah, thanks, never heard about that station, though I’m only 100 km away from Cologne. I mostly only listen to the radio in my car, and terrestrially Dom Radio is only receivable in and closely around Cologne, that’s why I’ve never encountered it (and the fact that I rarely change the channel from WDR 4).

Asking this question is why you fail, Grasshopper.

Secular music isn’t music of the Devil. Even if, in your mind, anything not explicitly Christian is Satanic, people making not-explicitly-Christian stuff don’t see it that way, which means they’re free to explore all kinds of themes and use all kinds of imagery forbidden to people who see themselves as making explicitly Christian media. If the Beastie Boys want to namecheck Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego*, they do it, and don’t worry about what it means or whether they just committed a sin by taking names from Bible Times in vain. It’s a lot easier to create with the fetters off.

*(Or Sriracha, Mechanics, and Abnegation, as per spellcheck.)

Say what? The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was pretty good and decently rated as well (76% on RT). Prince Caspian was ok, but not bad. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader though was pretty terrible.

Yep, and like his explanation of ‘The Double Standard’, totally nailed it.

What’s the difference?

In both cases, it sounds like the world sucks because humans are a bunch of losers whose nature is that they can and will fuck up literal paradise. (Without even trying to get into what the clothes or snakes represent.) Does not seem incompatible with ideas developed by Maimonides, Spinoza, etc.

Just in case you missed @Manwich’s reference and are taking him too literally: “Why should the devil have all the good music (or tunes)?” is an apocryphal quote attributed to Martin Luther to justify his writing hymns and setting them to the tunes of popular tavern songs.

“Dom Radio is only receivable in and closely around Cologne,”

We got it in Duesseldorf. Lucky us. Yup, WDR4 is preferable.

100 km from Cologne: where exactly? I almost certainly know the area.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was a children’s book, and OK in that respect. I never read it, although we had a copy at home. But as a film … fantasy does not translate all that well to the big screen, and Varnia was way too Disneyfied for intelligent adults. But those are not Hollywood’s target audience. :frowning:

If kids liked it, then it fulfilled its purpose.

“No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally – and often far more – worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.”

–C. S. Lewis

Kreis Olpe, Sauerland.

Olpe? Been through it once or twice, but a while back now.

Olpe as a town is not very exceptional, but the landscape is beautiful, and we’re a popular touristic region, especially for people from the Rhine/Ruhr area and the Netherlands.

As noted, it did receive a pretty decent Rotten Tomatoes score. Meaning plenty of adults thought it was well worth watching as well. I thought it was very well done and honored the source material well enough. The Pevensies, the White Witch, and Tumnus were well cast. The CGI was pretty good. And the story was well told.

Yes, it is for younger folks, but no more than the Harry Potter series. FWIW, I enjoy reading and re-reading both.

Maybe I am too demanding. The Narnia films were well done, despite the overt moralizing from C s Lewis, but fantasy films as a whole tend to be very derivative. Actually, that is/was the problem with LOTR, which came after the genre had already been well explored and plenty of films with good CG had already appeared.

Harry Potter is not for me. The little I have read of an HP novel makes me think Rowling is a very ordinary writer, and the plots are, to me, a potboiler derived from various reference books on mythology. It’s hard to enjoy Hollywood’s offerings if you are as cynical as I am.