Why is my back yard filled with smoke??

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Because my neighbours shed is on fire, that’s why.

I went outside after dinner to have a cigarette and I saw all this smoke coming over the fence. I peered over and couldn’t really tell where it was coming from directly, but it looked like it was coming from the shed. It was hard to tell because it was dark and raining.

So I head back inside and dial 911

Operator: Hello. Do you need police, fire or medical?
Me: Fire department please.
Operator: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Nothing. Just my neighbours house might be on fire.
Operator: Why do you say that?
Me: Oh? The excess of smoke in the back yard perhaps.

So the FD show up and fuss around with their 3 billion watt flashlights and discover that in fact smoke was coming from the shed.

The neighbour comes out.

Neighbour: What’s going on?
Fireman: Is this your shed?
Neighbour: Yes.
Fireman: It’s on fire.
Neighbour: Oh dear.
Fireman: What do you keep in there?
Neighbour: Oh, garden tools, stuff like that.
Fireman: Anything flamable?
Neighbour: No. not that I know of.
long pause
Neighbour: Oh. We have some cans of gas in there.

Note to Neighbour. When the fireman asks if you keep flammable things in your burning shed, and you store cans of gas in your shed… SAY YES! Don’t think about it. Don’t ponder the question, tell the nice fireman you have gallons of gas in there so they can quickly put out the blaze and stop the gas from expoloding and burning down MY HOUSE!

Good news. They got the fire out with minimal damage.

Bad news. It was arson. I don’t have details but they said it looked like it was intentionally set.

I’m sorry. I just don’t understand arson. What would be the point of someone lighting up a gardenshed?

anyway,. what did we learn tonight kiddies?

If I didn’t smoke, that entire thing might have gone unchecked until it got way worse. So therefore the moral is…

Smoking saves lives.

2

I like your logic, Seven !

I use similar logic (the herd theory) when I mix myself a drink - by drinking I make myself more intelligent!

As for arson, I’ll let a true psychologist answer this but IIRC arsonists enjoy seeing the actual burning take place and the fire trucks showing up, regardless of what is burning. It seems like a shed would be the work of a budding arsonist - his first time burning someone else’s property. He probably very well knows that your neighbor keeps gasoline in the shed - that’s why he targeted it. If anyone gathered around when the fire trucks showed up the arsonist was probably one of them.

This is amateur psychology of the worst sort, but it’s all I have to offer.

Has your neighbor bought you a carton yet in appreciation?

3

Or more accurately,

Smoking Saves Sheds.