AFAICT, buttons, ribbons, pins, pens, flowers, communicators, badges, sashes, signs, and other sundry shit.
My friend Lance has come up with an idea (just an idea so far) called the Tip-O-Meter[sup]TM[/sup]. You bring the Tip-O-Meter into the restaurant and sit it on the table. It has a box with a big digital display, and two big buttons on top, a red one and a green one. The display reads 15% when you sit down. Every time the server does something good that’s unexpected, like bring extra napkins because you have kids, brings you a free refill before your glass is empty, smiles (not a fake smile), then you hit the green button and the tip goes up by 1%. Every time they do something bad, like deliver your food and fail to return to check on it, get the order wrong, or argue with you (no sir, you said “Bud”, not “Bud Light”), hit the red button and it goes down 1%. The server gets real-time feedback with enough notice to change behavior before the final score is tallied.
No green button for squats or flair, or introducing themselves by name.
Okay. But why is it called “flair”?
See the movie “Office Space” for more info. 
Yeah, to me, it’s origins are the movie Office Space where Jennifer Aniston works at some TGI Shenanigans and her manager makes her wear little cra[ on her uniform, referred to as “pieces of flair”.
She had to wear a minimum of 9 or so, but the really dedicated workers wore more.
That’s an adjective meaning “style” or something like that.
They turned it into a joke by making a noun out of it.
Like saying, “I’m going to drink some courage” when you’re having alcohol.
Ok, so “flair” isn’t really an adjective nor is courage, but it’s turning, let’s say, an “attribute” into a “entity”.
Argh!
I am The Great and Mighty Flair!
Bow down and worship me, you lowly chain restaurant diners. Thank me that I don’t short you on the servings, ARGH!
I worked at Jack Astor’s for a time, and we were instructed in training to sit at the table if there was room to take the order. This, they said, was “building a relationship” with your customer, making things more friendly and casual for THEIR comfort.
I hated doing it. I avoided it at all costs unless a manager was giving me the evil eye. It made ME uncomfortable and nin times out of ten, it made the customer uncomfortable, too. Same with the “flair” on the t-shirts, and writing my name upside down. It was uncomfortable for both customers and staff. Just terrible.
Now, I avoid restaurants that have those kinds of policies, since it’s so uncomfy. I’m there to relax, not to be the server’s buddy.
Had this happen at an Outback one time. My wife and I sat down in a booth and then the waiter came over and scooted in next to her, launching into his patter about fried onion things.
My wife and I aren’t especially conservative or prudish, but we both reacted very badly to this. Some male stranger just walked up and sat down with my wife, close enough that that they were touching! What the hell? Was the cook going to come out and sit in my lap next?
As he tried to sell us an onion, I just stared at him with a stern look and pretty soon he got the idea. Then he got his ass up and stood by the table like a normal person.
We still ordered an onion from him.
Who the hell are these people that marketers are convinced need to be coddled and patted on the head and their testicles shined & buffed by customer service folk? I’m there for food, not to have myself validated.
Yes I have. I used to work in catering and would work up to 14 hour days on my feet. I would never have considered squatting next to a clients table, that would strike me as quite unprofessional and probably have gotten me yelled at by the owner.
Third Rock From The Sun did that. Except it wasn’t a device, his idea was that you would place a stack of ones on the table and explain to the waiter/ess that this was their potential tip. It would be added to or subtracted from based on how happy he was. Quite amusing, but then Lithgow could read shampoo ingredients and make it funny. 
It’s happened to us at Outback, too, and that’s the only place it’s happened.
The first time the waiter did it, I thought he was falling over and having a heart attack or something. I thought, “WTF? Is he about to die? … Oh, he’s getting ‘friendly’ by squatting.”
Count me in with those who hate it.
Last time someone tried that with me, I told him that seeing him squatting, and especially having him touch my shoulder, made me feel very uncomfortable. Since I saw other servers doing the same thing during my visit, I sought out the manager and told him I wouldn’t be coming back, I didn’t like being manipulated like that, and repeated that having someone squat to take my order and touch me, unless I know them VERY well, will make me feel uneasy. I do like to have servers check my table now and then, in case I need something. I prefer to choose who will touch me, though. It’s not that I dislike touching, I enjoy exchanging hugs with people I feel friendly with. But I am not close friends with most of the servers who wait on me.
Or look down her shirt. I am creeped out by people standing behind me and looking over my shoulder.
I don’t want someone squatting at my table. Or sitting at my table. Or chatting me up. Or any other of that cutesy crap. I want a server who’s courteous, attentive, quick, and absent unless I need something - is that too much to ask?? The only thing worse than a chummy server in one who’s having a bad day and can’t seem to keep it in check.
We went out for breakfast on my birthday one year, and as it was a Sunday morning, it was a bit crazy. Our server was obviously having a bad time, and my husband tried to cheer her up by making a lame joke. She came back with some comment about having just decided to leave her husband the night before. :eek: Happy Birthday to me…
Waitress here. I sometimes squat and the only reason I have is that it does indeed give me a breather. Now, it may seem strange to you when you come in and the place appears practically deserted that I’d need to do this. However, most restaurants that I’ve worked in have managed our ‘down’ time by having us run around busy like a chicken with its head cut off. So, if I’m changing my flow from this to wait on the occasional table, the break to take a bit of weight off my feet is one too good to pass up (and much appreciated).
However, I also must admit that I like being extremely friendly and interactive if my clients like that, and for being known as enjoying as much flair as I can get away with. Therefore, I’m not real sure where that would land me overall in the court of public opinion.
Finally, I have to ask about this excerpt [bolding mine]…
Maybe I’m still too new to all this (after a life time as an office drone), but I genuinely have no clue what this means. Are you talking about signing your ticket in front of your guests, forcing you to do so upside down? I’m boggled, I tells ya. And if there’s a chance I’m missing an opportunity on doing something that would make my job more fun for me, well dang it, I wanna a chance to do it too!! Help me please.
If you really liked their food Lynn, couldn’t you just request “no squatting” when you arrived? I mean, that way you get to eat and be served as you wish, while still conveying a distinct message rather than being forgotten the moment after you’ve finished speaking (as I’ve seen many a manager do with a complaint).
Some steak restaurants like Roadhouse have brown paper tablecloths, and every table has a crayon or two. They encourage you to doodle and eat peanuts (and drop the shells on the floor) while you wait for your food.
Typically in these sorts of places the wait-person will come up and introduce themselves while writing their name on the table paper, but upside-down (to them) so the customers can see it right-side-up.
Clear as mud?