Get that, folks? The problem isn’t with the majority who feel that sex should be something private. Rather, the problem lies with that tiny minority who insist that everyone else should put up with their public sexual acts – even if it means dealing with hygienic issues, unreasonable distraction, cheapening of a private act and the awkwardness of explaining such situations to prepubescent children.
And again, I say – if someone feels that he/she absolutely MUST have sex in public, then he/she is the one who needs psychiatric help, not the quiet majority who desire decorum.
What I’m trying to get at is why the knee-jerk reaction of “eww - that’s disgusting!” when the idea of sex in public is raised. Those of you exclaiming about how gross it is - have you ever wondered why you feel that way, and where those feelings come from? I’m not saying they aren’t valid, only that they don’t seem to come from a very logical, examined place.
Isn’t that a bit of a circular argument, it should be done privately because it is a private activity? Isn’t talking and dancing intimate?
As for Doghouse Reilly why should the difference between public and private alter the level of intimacy.
I’m seeing words like decorum and dignity, but these are arising from the fact that sex in public is considered wrong. If it were the norm, it would be considered completely dignified and within decorum.
b.t.w. I would be shocked and uneasy if I saw people having sex openly in the public. I just want to analyze why this is. It feels to me very similar to the way I used to be shocked and horrified if I saw two men holding hands in public.
I have no problem with sex in public - like, if two people want to do it in their car in a parking lot, good for them. But if it’s someplace there’s a risk of my sitting or putting my hand in a puddle of spooje or women spooje, that’s not cool.
See, that’s not my reaction. My reaction would be much more along the lines of :rolleyes:.
It always appears to me that people that grope and fondle excessively in public (and no I’m not talking about the occasional smootch or hand holding) are trying WAY to hard.
“Oooo - look at me! I’m having sex! Ooooo!”
That’s nice. But really, I don’t care if you think the person you’re with is the greatest ever born and you just can’t wait the extra 30 seconds to find a private shrubbery, you having sex in my face is totally out of line.
Hey - I don’t turn up in your bedroom and insist on doing my taxes, you can return the favour and not have sex in the coffee shop while I’m studing for a final.
Is this true of all modern societies? If groping was common place would it still cause people able to see it happening to feel uncomfortable?
There seems to be a time in a child’s development that any intimacy seems unpleasant and icky (I remember turning away when anyone kissed on film, and have seen similar reaction from my Nephew). This passes after a while to a more socially normal view of such acts. Can any psychiatrists/ psychologists explain the childish aversion, and its benefit to the growing person’s psychology?
Frankly, the genitals (and often the butt and gut) are not exactly the most attractive features most people have. In fact, the male genitals are rather ridiculous-looking. Lots of fun, but ridiculous. I don’t want to see trim, fit, attractive people going at it while I’m trying to eat lunch, and I certainly don’t want to see fat, saggy people like me going at it. Ugh!
I don’t want to see people groping/playing tonsil hockey/having sex for the same reason I don’t want to see people have screaming arguments, or watch them cry, or listen to their quiet, earnest discussions of what’s wrong in their relationships, or be told about their gynecological issues and the state of their bowels. It’s none of my business, and I don’t want it shoved in my face. Doing so creates a feeling of unwanted intimacy, and it makes me feel rather put-upon.
Well, that makes perfect sense. That’s a great point, you crazy old cat lady, you. I don’t really want everyone else’s emotional baggage hanging from me, either.
Now, I’m starting to think, why do we need to make something illegal that most people really aren’t interested in doing anyway?
Oh, dear…
Are you suggesting that if I get up on my soapbox at the corner of the park and discuss the state of my bowels, the coppers should come by and toss me in the clink? Not that I’ve done this (lately), but I do cherish my right to freedom of expression. Even if it might incidentally give you an uncomfortable feeling of unwanted intimacy.
Millions of cell-phone users take advantage of this right every day. I admit that sometimes it might be tempting to lock them all up, but probably not good public policy.
And for those of you concerned about hygene, should we be allowing people to leave puddles of sweat in public places? That would certainly seem to be a pertinent issue today. However, maybe sweating falls under the category of involuntary activities. How about nose blowing, then? Everytime someone blows their nose into a tissue in public they’re aerosolizing millions of potentially disease-causing germs. That’s clearly a voluntary activity and seems much more likely to spread illness. But last time I checked it was still legal.
Has anyone advanced any reason at all why it should be legal, or even why that person is interested in the subject except for the chance to thumb their noses at sane adults?
Public fucking is not ever going to be legal, the vast majority of people aren’t interested in seeing it legal, and nobody here has come up with an argument why it should be legal.
BTW, it looks like this thread was kind of botched from the beginning. Featherlou apparently wanted to poll members here about why they find public sex offensive, but unfortunately framed it in terms of a pseudo-debate over whether public sex “should be illegal”. Once the thread was moved to Great Debates, the usual gang of children jumped in with their customary delight in saying “poopie poopie poopie” in an effort to shock the grownups.
In sum, let’s put this thing out of its misery, shall we?
Actually, I started this thread because I was genuinely interested in where we (as a society) got the idea that sex in public should be illegal, beyond the knee-jerk reaction of “eww, gross.”
I’m still not sure anyone has supplied a sufficient reason why it should be illegal; all of JThunder’s examples are not really the same as two adults having consensual sex - they all involve hurting another person(s) against their will.
And lastly, my screen is still saying that this thread is in IMHO. I got moved and it doesn’t show?
It’s like people who start telling you every little detail about their sex lives; your grandfather ranting about his inflamed prostate or your boss describing in explicit detail about her irritable bowel syndrome.
Excuse me, but somethings aren’t meant to be shared with the entire world.
Sorry, I think I got this confused with another thread I’ve been participating in. Still . . . even in IMHO, I should think extraordinary claims warrant extraordinary proof. Why should it be legal?
I was specifically answering that specifically question. So what if most people have no desire to engage in a particular misdeed? That’s not a valid argument for making it legal.