Why is the word "optimistic" always attached to Star Trek: TOS?

Kirk kisses her to manipulate her in order to try to escape, but I don’t recall he goes any further with her (unlike Drusilla).

But she was also his guard, and it was her job to train him and keep him captive. He manipulated the situation, but it was because he wanted to escape.

Also which crew member did he ever hit on outside of the mirror episode. Evan with Rand , it was her hitting on him. With Kirk saying to McCoy, he can’t notice her because he’s the captain.

Yeah. Kirk seems to avoid having off-duty conversation with most of his crew, particularly the women (we do see social interactions among the other officers (Rand and Sulu, Uhura and Chekov, Uhura and Riley, Spock and Uhura, etc.)).

Off the top of my head…closest I can come up with is in Dagger of the Mind where its shown he snogged with someone at a …Christmas Party (???)
Its PICARD who causes an underling to transfer because of inappropriate relations*

*Hey, I’m all for free love…but you have to be able to separate your professional and private lives. You have to be able to send your squeeze on a suicide mission if the job requires it.

It’s rather strongly implied that Kirk shagged Kelinda the Kelvan in By Any Other Name. He is shown pulling a boot back onto his foot, presumably at the end of the “demonstration”.

Kirk was wooing Kelinda to make the her fellow Kelvan Rojan jealous, part of a plan to overwhelm the Kelvans with human emotions and sensations. So Kirk was taking one for the team by going after Kelinda, not being a sexist shmoe.

That Jim Kirk, always sacrificing for the greater good. What a team player!

Part of the sexism in Star Trek was the period, and part of it was reflective of Roddenberry, a horn-dog even by 1960s Hollywood standards.

DP

Dr. Helen Noel. It’s unclear exactly how far things went with her after the Christimas party. Kirk’s later romantic feelings were produced by artificial mental conditioning produced by a “neural neutralizer.”

And the article says
“The final draft script of “Dagger of the Mind” made it clear that, at the party, Kirk presumed Noel was one of the ship’s passengers, which led to “something” between them “that night.” Specifically, Kirk was interested in her but, because so many of his crewmembers were present, he couldn’t act on those feelings.”

(bolding mine)

The “putting on his boots” scene was after an encounter with Deela the Scalosian, the people who lived “accelerated” lives, in Wink of an Eye. That’s probably as explicit as they got in indicating that Kirk actually boinked anyone on the show (although its also clear with Drusilla).

Not to defend are argue about the sexism in TOS, but I will say that in context of the other TV programming of the era, Trek did manage to push the envelope wrt women’s roles in society (while at the same time being mired in regressive and male-centered portrayals of women).

Even if that’s indicated in the script, the episode contradicts it, because she’s in uniform when Kirk takes her to his cabin after the party. Now although that encounter is a fantasy suggested by Noel via the neural neutralizer, it is based on their meeting at the Christmas party. If she had been dressed differently then Kirk would have remembered her that way. Also, if he thought she was a passenger, he would have been more surprised when he found her assigned to his mission.

Now since Noel says “I suggest now that it happened a different way,” it would seem that they might not have done more than dance at the Christmas party. But there’s nothing to indicate that Kirk didn’t know that she was his subordinate. And he’s extremely uncomfortable when he finds out that she’s been assigned to the mission, which implies that something inappropriate might have taken place. If all they did was dance there is no reason he should have been pissed off at McCoy for assigning her to the mission.

Couldn’t a passenger on the Enterprise be an uniformed Starfleet officer, just one who was not an Enterprise crewmember?

This excerpt

makes it clear that in real life they did no more than dance, I think - and the references to “Your crew” suggest that in the fantasy that Noel’s suggestion elicited, Kirk is thinking of her as not a member of the crew (which I take as meaning “Kirk is continuing his misapprehension about her status which he held at that time”)

You’re really reaching there. As I said, Kirk would have been astonished (rather than pissed) to discover someone he thought had been a passenger was actually a crew member when he saw her in the transporter. And his reaction also implies that something untoward happened beyond an innocent dance. There’s nothing in the episode that indicates that Kirk wasn’t aware she was his subordinate at the Christmas party. (While the Captain might not recognize every member of his 400 person crew, and she could have been relatively new at the time of the Christmas party, how many doctors does the ship have anyway? It’s rather implausible that Kirk wouldn’t at least have met her before the Christmas party, and that Kirk wouldn’t remember a pretty face.)

Okay. It’s possible that my memory of the episode has faded over the years (I don’t remember Kirk’s reaction when Noel beamed aboard).

At any rate, the most sexist remark I can recall from ST isn’t from Kirk at all - it’s Spock who suggest to Rand that she found the evil Kirk (who had attacked her) to have “interesting qualities.”

She doesn’t beam aboard. She’s a crew member and already aboard.

Kirk has requested an assistant with “psychiatric and penology” experience from McCoy to visit the Tantalus Penal Colony. When McCoy hears this, he smirks and rolls his eyes, evidently aware that his staff member with such experience has a history with Kirk. But Kirk doesn’t recognize her name when McCoy says he’s assigning “Dr. Noel.”

Kirk is surprised and evidently embarrassed when he goes to the transporter and sees her already there. She introduces herself as “Dr. Helen Noel. We’ve met” in a sultry and meaningful voice. (After that comes the short sequence in the video link I posted). Kirk jumps out of the transporter and furiously tells Spock, “Tell McCoy she better check out as the best assistant I ever had,” evidently thinking McCoy is pranking him. He gets back in the transporter and they beam down, Kirk looking angry and Noel looking coy. Not the reactions you would expect if he thought she was a passenger and had merely shared an innocent dance with her. I admit the fantasy sequence shows they didn’t actually snog (though it also shows they both wanted to), but it seems that they did more than dance (and it was public enough that McCoy was aware of it.)

I think you are the one who is reaching. You are basing your opinion on what you think was indicated by Kirk’s behaviour when seeing her. On the other hand, AndyL is basing his on what the character explicitly says.

In particular, this exchange:

KIRK: Yes. Pick something unusual, an unusual suggestion, something we can both be sure of.
NOEL: (light turns) At the Christmas party, we met, we danced, you talked about the stars. I suggest now that it happened in a different way. You swept me off my feet and carried me to your cabin.

That seems utterly clear that in real life she did NOT go back to his cabin. They may have been making eyes at each other in a public place, which they were subsequently embarrassed about, but they didn’t have sex. If they did, it would make her ‘alternate scenario’ for what happened the same as what actually happened, which makes no sense.

As for Kirk’s reaction upon seeing her: He made a mistake and didn’t realize she was part of his crew at first, and therefore inappropriately fraternized with a female officer under his command, opening himself up personally in a way a captain should not do. Furthermore, they both knew that they had feelings for each other that are inappropriate for their relative stations. Hence Kirk being uncomfortable and annoyed with McCoy for putting both of them in an uncomfortable situation.

I just agreed in my post above that that sequence indicates they didn’t actually have sex.

Have you re-watched the episode? I just re-watched the relevant sequences. There’s no evidence whatsoever for the idea that Kirk didn’t know she was part of his crew from the beginning. As I said, she is in uniform in Kirk’s fantasy. Also, Kirk is in no way apologetic when he sees her. He acts angry, guilty, and embarrassed, indicating he knew he did something wrong from the start.

You guys are going to great lengths to make excuses for Kirk, not recognizing in the culture of the time fraternizing with subordinates would not be regarded nearly as seriously as it is now. Kirk does other things that are seen as reprehensible today, like having sex with the slave Drusilla.

First of all, she was in the science department, so not a direct subordinate, or in the chain of command. Obviously he didn’t work with her or write her PPR. And from the eps. she was interested. And in TNG, Picard also dated a science officer, so per the Starfleet Officer’s code, it seems to be fine.
I have more trouble with the Reboot, where Spock dated (on/off) Uhura. As she does seem to be in the chain of command.

Yet again, he was prisoner in both situation. In Wink of an Eye, it was obvious he was trying to escape. Given the plot, he was captured to be a sex slave/sperm donor.

If we go by what was aired alone. He was never shown to have anything to do with the slave Dursilla outside of a smile when she served him. By that time he was already a captive, and was making nice with the Roman master.

Re-watching the older series, by our standard of consent, it’s amazing the amt. of times Kirk was raped.

I love this essay, which actually talks about every single one of Kirk’s love interest: