I’m going on a cruise in February. I’m looking forward to the formal and semi-formal nights, because I look better in a tux (with, I must add, a real bow tie). You put me in casual clothes, and I look like what I am - an overweight 40 year old. But in full dress fitted properly, and standing tall, I won’t be embarassed standing next to Bond, James Bond. I clean up real purty.
You may have uncovered the truth.
My husband and I were on a cruise to Hawaii. On the night of the captain’s gala I wore a dress in which my boobs entered the room 5 minutes before me, to announce my emmient arrival.
The crowd was funneled through a single hallway so everyone went through the captain’s receiving line.
The captain was, maybe, 5’ tall. He was Italian, and spoke almost no English.
When it was my turn to shake his hand, he wouldn’t let go. Being just about at his eye level, he spoke, at length, in Italian to the “girls.”
My husband couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or deck the guy. As it happened, Hubby didn’t need worry, the captain’s wife, who had been occupied elsewhere, chose that moment to look at him… she didn’t deck him right there, but the look on her face said she would before the night was over.
Not sure what cruise ship you are on. I have taken over 20 cruises on several lines, and no one Requires formal dress. While there are formal nights in the main dining rooms, only about 20 - 30% of people participate. Others either go in comfortable clothes (ranging from business suits to just a shirt and slacks for guys) or dine in an alternative location on the ship. Every cruise ship I have been on has several places to dine.
No cruise line wants you to be uncomfortable about anything at any point in your vacation. It is YOUR vacation, and you should enjoy it. If that includes a tux and/or evening gown then go for it. But if it is casual dress…that is good also.
Enjoy your cruise…they are GREAT vacations!
So screw 'em. You (or someone you know) is paying for this thing, why let them tell you what to wear? Your ticket, your way. And if they don’t like it, show them the receipt. You shouldn’t have to pack extra clothes just so some other people who like dressing up can have a special night. It’s your vacation. But a cruise sounds like hell on earth to me anyway, with or without formalwear.
I have never found formal clothes (i.e. stuff made out of linen or lace) that did not make me feel uncomfortable. It’s not the clothes, it’s the dressing up itself.
But when they bring their 19 year old, sophomore in college, 18 to drink on the cruise no questions asked, twin granddaughters, it kind of makes it worth it.
Bullshit. The ticket was purchased with the knowledge that there would be a formal night. Don’t buy the ticket if you don’t like it (I wouldn’t). Should you be able to demand that they carry your exact brand of soda, beer and sun tan lotion too? What if you want cranberry colored towels instead of white? X-rated movies at noon in the cinema?
You can always get room service or pack a bag. Your sense of entitlement is way out of control.
I wore full tuxes for three years in college when I worked at high-end weddings. I have worn suits off and on to work over the past eight years.
Tuxes and suits say one thing to me…get your ass to work. I don’t associate them with leisure and proabbly never will again.
But here’s the thing: it’s a VACATION. Gowns and tuxes != vacation. It goes against the very nature of vacation. Sure, if they want to have a special, OPTIONAL dinner for dressy guests, while providing casual dining for more sensible vacationers, that’s swell. But insisting that EVERYONE include a formal dinner in their VACATION plans smacks of anti-fun authoritarianism. The way the OP described it, it sounded as if jackbooted thugs were going to break down everyone’s door, take them to the dinner at bayonet point, and ridicule them for not being dressed up enough. He didn’t say if there would be an alternative. If there is, yeah, take the alternative, but if they’re going to deny any sort of food to casual dressers, that is anti-vacation and should not be tolerated.
(Are there enough capslocked phrases in this post? I’m not sure.)
I went to high school at a college-prep private school, which had a dress code (shirt, tie, blazer, dress pants) for the guys, i HATED it, to this day i will never voluntarily wear anything that has a tie/sport jacket/blazer/whatever associated with it, it’s not that it’s just uncomfortable and restrictive, it’s the mindless conformity that also grates on me
i wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of that crap, when i die, i want to be buried in a comfortable sweatshirt and jeans
davenportavenger, it’s not just any vacation that you can define to your own preferences, it’s a specific kind of vacation – a cruise. Cruises, in general, include a formal night. So gowns and tuxes are not “against the very nature of vacation” for this particular instance of vacation – they are, instead, part and parcel of it.
And while gowns and tuxes may not equal “vacation” for you, do they equal “special event?” Because that’s what the people behind the cruise are trying to create – a special event, one night out of the seven on your expensive vacation when everyone dresses up to help make it more fun.
Why so much anger over such a little thing?
And MacTech, I can understand not liking uniforms, but I think you are missing out on the opportunity to dress up and have fun. When I wear a tux, I’m not doing it to conform, I’m doing it so I look good. And I do!
Since when is a suit “formal”?
:: wanders off to mutter to himself about declining standards ::
scanning text…
dress up…
have fun…
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error in line 2…
DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!
dress up / have fun are mutually exclusive arguments, Syntax Error…
dumping core…
I agree. If you don’t like the policy, find another ship or suck on a PBJ samwich. But don’t ruin it for others. LOTS of people enjoy dressing up now and then. Is it that much of an imposition?
In April (if business permits), I’m taking a long, well-deserved cruise on the Silver Whisper. Formal or “elegant” wear rules the night.
That’s your opinion. Others have differerent ideas, and they too have paid for their tickets. You’ve got no right to ruin things for them.
Then have two dinners, one for the glamorous people and one for the slobs. Everybody’s happy.
I just don’t want to be told how to dress when I’m on vacation. I didn’t know that cruises normally have dress nights, but I still think it should be an optional dinner, with another dinner served to people who choose not to dress up. I mean, this is a DISNEY cruise, not the Titanic. Maybe parents don’t want to wrestle their squirming brats into formalwear for even one night, and they deserve to have a hot meal too.
There is an option if you choose not to dress up and enjoy a fancy dinner with the rest of the family. The buffet at the cafeteria. The food won’t be quite as nice as it is at the Captain’s Dinner, but there will be plenty of it, and they just ask that you don’t wear a wet bathing suit in there (plates of hot food and water on the floor don’t mix). That’s not too harsh of a dress code.
I’m not much of a dress up guy either, but sitting with my family, all of us looking nice, being waited on hand and foot for the better part of an hour, and generally being treated like royalty (the waiters work for tips, so you ARE treated like royalty) makes putting on a suit for a few hours out of my week seem like not such a big deal.
Suck it up, dude, you’re getting a $1000 cruise for nothing. But if you absolutely refuse to get dressed up for one dinner, even to make your in-laws happy, I hope it doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass.
Obviously not everyone responding has been on a cruise. Every cruise line has more than one place to eat. They have buffetts around every corner. The point of formal night is just that. A chance for a fine dining experience with the people seated at your table. If you don’t want to dress up, you don’t have to. Just don’t eat in the formal dining room. Eat in one of the million other locations on the ship. Similarly, if you don’t like the people who were assigned to your table, you never have to eat there. There are literally dozens of places serving food at all hours of the day.
OK. I’m not sure why that took so long to post, so…
Yeah. what Casey said.
Ah, grasshopper, you have much to learn. It is indeed a DISNEY cruise. That means that there is a magnificent Kid’s Club, and the chances that your children will join you for dinner are rather slim. In our case, the kids will be joining us for the formal dinner because it is a chance to dress up. The other nights they will almost certainly be in the Kid’s Club, learning to be a pirate from Captain Hook, or having Lilo & Stitch teach them how to limbo.
Next argument? I mean, I get that you don’t like dressing up. I don’t have a problem with that. I just don’t see how Formal Night is The Man getting you down, as it were. Your level of unhappiness with it seems out of whack with the actual issue. It’s not like you’re going on phungi’s cruise, or ever going to go. So why get so bent out of shape over it?
Oh, it’s not just this topic, I’m always this intense. I think that is really the cause of half my clashes at this place.