So you don’t go to Hell for killing people anymore? Why does no one tell me these things?
To paraphrase Mad Magazine’s paraphrase of James Bond’s privileges:
License to Kill
(but only a learner’s permit to make out).
Because the (Americans) don’t mind violence, but they’re rather stuffy about sex.
I had nothing to do with it.
'sides, I thought they built this city on bootleg beer…
My understanding of the rationale is that an extremely high percentage of people want to have sex, while a very small percentage of people actually want to commit violence.
My cynical side (ok ok, my only side) suspects that the percentages are roughly equal. We just have stronger societal inhibitions against violence. After all, if there were no sex, we wouldn’t be having this talk.
And an even higher percentage of people want to have sex with sheep, which is why they never show that on TV.
I don’t disagree, but what do you do when the protagonist of whatever your watching engages in unhealthy sexual relationships? Frankly, isn’t that the norm? How often is it that the sex happens 1)between married people, 2) when they are both sober, 3) are fairly well adjusted, 4) love each other, 5) know each other’s last name?
How much of it is just…fucking? And these are the good guys!
Anyway, I’m not nearly as much of a buzzkill as all that (I don’t think), but I don’t believe that there is a 1:1 comparison between sex and violence as portrayed by tv/hollywood.
What do you do when the protagonist of whatever you’re watching engages in unhealthy uses of violence?
I’d go for, “If I’m concerned about the kid’s reaction or what thoughts the kid might be having about it, talk about it,” myself.
The good guys in movies are often seen randomly killing people when they could have immobilised them or called the police. Threatening with deadly weapons. Laughing or making jokes/quips when their opponents are maimed or killed. What’s wrong with fucking compared to that? Hell, what’s wrong with fucking, period, assuming everyone involved enjoys themselves and doesn’t get hurt?
As someone who likes action movies where all the bad guys get blown up good, I still think the depiction of violence on TV and in movies is ridiculous. Anyone who is prone to getting their worldview influenced by TV and movie depictions is going to get just as screwy a worldview from the way violence is shown as they might from the way sex is shown. In both cases you have to make sure that you talk with the kids involved, and make sure that the worldview they are forming is one that you are comfortable with. I think parents who cover their kids’ eyes or send them out of the room because of TV depiction of sex, but who don’t do the same for TV depictions of violence are doing their kids a major disservice.
My personal opinion is that you’re better off talking to the kid rather than not. Awkward questions or no, the more honest you can be the better. Kids are pretty damn perceptive as it is, and they’re going to come to their own conclusions about what they see and hear if they don’t have any other input.
Sigh. Look, nobody said that there aren’t any gray areas. However, the point remains that good vs. evil is much easier for children to understand than sexual relationships are. In fact, a do-gooder who occasionally resorts to violence can make for a powerful role model in a young person’s life. (Think: Superman)
That’s one reason why violence isn’t condemned as strongly as graphic depictions of sex on TV. There are situations where violence is both justified and necessary, and even little children can understand that.
“Almost never”? I think you’re overstating matters severely. Moreover, we’re talking about television, NOT the real world, so that’s ultimately a moot point. In TV fiction, there are PLENTY of circumstances in which violence is a necessary response in conflicts between good and evil.
False dichotomy. Some depictions of violence on TV or in the movies are appropriate, but that doesn’t mean that ALL of them are.
The OP asked why violence is considered **more ** acceptable than sex. The question has been answered. Your example illustrates that NOT ALL violence is considered acceptable, but that’s simply irrelevant to the issue at hand.
True. I got a bit hyberbolic there. I don’t think we agree on the relative weights of acceptable violence vs non-acceptable or questionable violence, but that’s a separate discussion and not necessarily relevant.
This appears to be the core of our disagreement. I do not agree that the usage of violence is inherently better understood by children than sex is. I also don’t agree that good vs evil is that much easier to understand. How is good defined? How is evil defined? These are complex concepts. If a child can understand good and evil, then they can understand the difference between loving sex and gratuitous sex.
Largely, I think, the difference is in how much is communicated between parents/society and the child. I think that rules on violence are taught much earlier to children relative to sex, and I think that’s why children seem to have a better understanding of it. Not because of inherent ability to understand, but because the rules have been built up from the simple “Don’t hit” by their parents from the time they are a year old.
While I don’t think we should be teaching our 1 year olds about sex, I think that by the time a child is likely to be seeing any significant amount of standard TV they should be taught at least the basics. In other words, they ought to know that men and women have sex, that it’s generally considered a private thing, and that it tends to be best in a loving relationship. Other questions can be handled as they come up.
To go back to this question, I believe that the answer is pretty simple. If the protagonist is engaging in something you consider unhealthy, you explain why to the child if you think it is necessary. Same as you would with violence.
As to it being the norm, I have no idea. Sexual relationships are shown so rarely that I don’t think there is a norm. Which is a separate part of the problem. Hell, even shows with married people in them never show sex happening.