I totally agree with Crash on this one, looking at it from the HS male point of view. Guys talk about it all the time, serious or joking. Someone might be lke “What you doin tonight?” and someone will say back to 'em “I got a date with Miss Michigan tonight.” (Michigan is shaped like a hand…) Girls on the other hand are like OMG THAT’S DISGUSTING!!! I’ve only heard one girl in HS ever admit to it, the rest when I ask if they do are like GROSS, NO WAY!!!
On the other hand, I highly doubt that most high school guys have any problem with the notion of girls masturbating (they may even be turned on by it), although they probably don’t know how girls actually do it. I suspect, though, that the same girls who are disgusted by the notion of girls masturbating are also disgusted by the notion of guys masterbating. In other words, it’s not that it’s not accepted for girls, it’s that it’s not accepted by girls. Does this make any sense? (female perspectives welcome)
As I think back on my early adolescense, I recall hearing a number of conversations which indicated that many young people (both male and female) wrongly believe that female masturbation must involve penetration of some sort. This belief, coupled with the various ULs about girls having encounters with gear shifts or frozen hot dogs, probably explains at least some of the reactions you describe. I wouldn’t doubt that some of those same girls actually do masturbate but don’t think of what they are doing as masturbation as it does not involve penetration.
I know that at least 40 kids in Michigan were reasonably sexually intelligent and savvy by the summer of 1987. Why? Because I insisted on bringing the 100-question Purity Test to musical rehearsals with me, and since I was administering it I made sure I knew what every question on it MEANT. I taught most of these kids the meaning of: (don’t laugh, you’d be amazed what kids don’t know at the ages of 14-18)
Masturbation
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
69
Voyeurism
Exhibitionism
Water Sports
Wasserman Test
“booty call” although at the time it was “nookie run”
Incest
Bestiality
I’d like to think I was combatting ignorance even then. And I’ll tell you what…once I admitted to masturbating, a LOT of those kids’ test scores went down by one as well.
WTF? Not only do I not know what this is, I’ve never seen it mentioned on a purity test, 100 or 500.
The Wasserman test detects syphilis. Sounds quaint and old-fashioned now, doesn’t it?
Seriously people. You guys must be confusing Jr High with High School. I’m 24 and HS has gotten alot more sexually charged since I left, but when I was there masturbation was very openly talked about by the guys in the locker rooms and in certain co-ed situations. It wasn’t “wierd” or “gross” or “lame”, it was generally considered a hell of alot of fun. The only lies being told were by the handful of overly immature kids (usually the quiet overprotected kids) the other 95% of people probably just lied by downplaying that they did it 6 times a day. In most situations the girls who hung out with us guys were not afraid to admit it either, but weren’t as likely to announce their evening plans with the purple missile. I got the impression that girls were cool discussiing it in girl talk, but wisely held back around us hormonally charged guys unless they were close enough to know we wouldn’t beat the topic in the ground for some cheap titilation.
The whole, sex is dirty, it can kill you stuff was mainly propogated in 8th grade health class and was old news by high school. Not to say some highly conservative communities might evolve later than mine (which wasn’t all that liberal), but lets not pretend that kids today are the least bit confused or ignorant about sex. They are ignorant about love, romance, and the consequences of sex, but sex is right up teens’ alley.
I’m sure there is a vast difference between 14 and 18 years old as well, so you might need to narrow your assertions on this topic.
And by the way, I’m pretty sure all guys do it regularly before high school is over, and aren’t the least bit perplexed by the concept of it. I’d wager most have read about it and heard about it long before they get around to giving it a whirl themselves. As for the girls, too many don’t masturbate, while not necessarily being grossed out by discussion of it, they aren’t comfortable doing it to themselves. My theory is that the reason so many women don’t have orgasms until much later in life is because they don’t properly learn how to orgasm, or explore what feels good. Girls who masturbate as teen probably have much more fulfilling healthy sexual lives in college and early adulthood. Now if I could just clear up a few million grant dollars for research on the topic…
Well, Omni, thank you for insultingly suggesting that I have a faulty memory and am being deliberately obtuse, and that I am outright lying (thinly veiled, of course, due to propriety and a desire to have an easy exit).
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I did not mean they didn’t all know what “masturbate” meant (although a couple of them didn’t); I merely meant that once I admitted it many of them did as well.
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The test I used had been developed in 1984; my sister passed it on to me from William and Mary. The test started “HAVE YOU EVER:” and the question was “…had a Wasserman Test due to reasonable suspicion,” which, when I typed it up myself, I changed to “suspected you had VD.”
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It was high school. It was 1986. I was a Junior. I didn’t have any friends in middle school, and even if I had we did not put on plays or musicals, and I was sitting in the orchestra pit, so it has to have been high school. Sorry.
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They understood “blow job,” “head,” “VD,” “peeping tom,” and many other slang phrases; many of them had not actually heard or read the terms “fellatio,” “cunnilingus,” “voyeurism,” etc. I only recall those because several people sheepishly said, “What’s this one mean?” as they were answering them.
My school was in an upper-middle-class closed off WASP community. These kids didn’t know DICK, sometimes quite literally. I’m glad you were brought up in such a well-informed place, where ignorance of sex, sexuality, and sexual terminology was un-heard of.
Unlike many, I don’t lie on the boards to make myself appear cool. I don’t even lie on the boards to make myself appear LESS un-cool. Just because a situation is outside your realm of experience does not make it untrue.
And the only thing I ever did at band camp was band camp crap. And I’ve never seen “American Pie.” But my cousin was in it. (From all reports, she’s the one who got puked on.)
Sorry, hijack over, nothing more to see here, move along.
Huh?
Not sure what tripped the switch there but not a single line of my post was in reference to anything you said, save the first line. The quote was a joke that you obviously didn’t get. At the very most I was saying that all the anecdotes so far seem very dated based on my experience. Sorry you thought I was pissing in your direction. I wasn’t.
I had the same experience as Omniscient, but I’m young as well (22). My friends and I - guys and girls - talked about masturbation openly. Most of us were proud of it. (When I bought my first vibrator at 17, I walked into my friend’s house and announced, “I am my own woman!”) Even the girls that were a little more shy about it - and those that still harbored some concept of sex as dirty - talked about the shower massager as their best friend.
Then again, I’m a very open person, and most of my friends are as well. In addition, we tried everything we could as teenagers: sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The things we liked, we continued to do and discuss, and who doesn’t like getting off?
Ok, i feel stupid…I thought myself reasonably knowledgeable about sex lingo, but these terms totally are outta the ballpark for me…would someone mind explaining…
Fellatio - oral sex performed on a man
Cunnilingus - oral sex performed on a woman
Voyeurism - getting aroused by watching others have sex
Exhibitionism - getting aroused by being watched by others
Water Sports - sex acts involving urination
Okay, normally I hate one word/line responses, but…SEE???
I didn’t know how to explain them clearly without the response being really long and/or confusing, so I went for short and concise.
I get your point, Hama, and I’m disappointed that most Americans haven’t gotten beyond their Puritanical roots, but embarrassment in regards to masturbation has still never been my experience.