Yeah, people touching me would result in Serious Bodily Harm. Fortunately, my nails are always clipped short, so nobody has that excuse.
Yes, mine are very strong and they don’t bend, and they’re real, too. I guess that’s why people don’t believe me when I tell them that they’re real, because they don’t bend. The ‘picking’ part just kills me when they start doing that. I’m like…‘Damn! Stop it!’
For Og’s sake, they’re REAL, already. You want me to take my polish off and prove it to you?! Which I’m SURE they’d have me do, just to prove that they are real. Freakin’ idiots.
Yeah, I’ve had people not believe me when I tell them my nails are real. Fortunately, no one’s ever tried to touch them. I must give off some strong “don’t touch me unless I know you” vibes.
Oh yes! They’re real, and they’re spectacular!
I think I used to work with you. 
I loved your nails, but I didn’t maul you, so please don’t hurt me.
Eh … not necessarily. I don’t bite mine at all, and can’t grow them to save my life. My mom and I both have a weird sort of hormonal deficiency that causes our nails to break around the time of our menstrual cycles. I know it sounds strange, but it’s true. (Gums bleed when I brush my teeth around that time, too.) It does not matter what I do, what fabulous potion I put on my nails, or how much I protect them. They just break off right then. I cared a lot in high school, and not at all now.
But whatever the case, I certainly don’t hate you for your nails. I hope you enjoy them. And people really, really, really should not touch you without your permission. (Any moment now, a pregnant lady is going to wander on here and say, "Yeah? Well people keep walking up to me and GRABBING MY STOMACH!!!)
Now let me get this straight. Your nails are so long that some women think they may be fake and so decide to just grab your hand and feel for themselves. Unbelievable. I’ve never seen this behavior in my life.
Say … Does this behavior also apply to women with big tits? 
[Slappy White]
STOP BENDIN’ DA SHAFTS!!!
[/Slappy White]
When a … ahem … well-endowed female friend of mine went to Japan, the women over there would grab her boobage a lot. Out of curiosity, I guess. From talking to other people who have been there, I think it’s a cultural thing. My male friend had is somewhat large nose squeezed a lot.
I really want to see these nails now.
Women can be such catty bitches. I just cannot imagine saying some of the things I’ve heard from other women, or behaving in the way that you’ve described.
To really ick them out, when they start feeling up one of your nails, exclaim proudly, “That one’s my nose-picker!”
God… talk about an obscure reference! 
Only my weaker nails bend, you try it with the rest and I’ll be screaming. They don’t have much give to them, and from experience I know it HURTS when they do bend.
Haha! I was reading through the whole thread to see when that was gonna happen so I wouldn’t copy anyone. It hasn’t (at least not as far as I’ve read as of yet, anyway).
I’m not pregnant now but I have been twice. And it’s AMAZING to me how many people think they can take liberties with your body without being invited. I’ve never had anyone grab my hands to look at my nails. They’re short and stubby and utilitarian and I’m okay with that. But when I was pregnant…oh boy…
Total strangers would walk up to me and grab my big, round, pregnant belly and hold forth about whether it was a boy or a girl and how they’ve never been wrong all while caressing my stomach. MY stomach!!!
First of all, when I was pregnant, having anyone grab anything near my intestines made me feel like I was gonna whoopsy all over myself and them and anything or anyone else within the line of fire. I’m not a huggy-touchy-kissy-hold my hand kind of person anyway. And second of all, would they just come up and grab my baby if it was in a stroller instead of in my uterus??? I posed that question a couple of times and the response I got was usually a stare that said, “What a bitch.” They did, however, put their damn hands back in their damn pockets.
The only time I REALLY lost my temper (never a very steady thing, but certainly worse during pregnancy) was when I was in an elevator with a man, a MAN, alone who reached out and started rubbing my belly without so much as a ‘hello’, “When are you due? My wife is pregnant too (as if that would somehow bond us).” I backed up, he followed me, still grabbing my stomach. I backed up again, he followed me again. Keep in mind this is in an elevator and I’m running out of backing-up room and I’m ALONE with some freak who thinks that because he got his wife pregnant, he can touch any pregnant woman he wants to without fear of retribution.
I posed the question listed above, “Would you come up and grab my baby if it was in a stroller instead of in my uterus?” He laughed and kept rubbing my belly. So I grabbed his big stupid hand, twisted as hard as I could, screamed “I’m due in December! December, motherfucker! You wanna keep bugging me or are you gonna back the FUCK off?!” He turned white, got as far away from me as he could in the elevator, and got off at his floor with me yelling down the hall behind him as the doors sighed shut, “What?! Did the pregnant lady scare you? Pussy! Don’t you wanna check my fucking cervix?!”
I felt better after that. I would have felt even better if I had bitten him and drawn blood, but I was pregnant…who knows what I could have caught from him? After all, he apparently went around touching random strangers with some physical feature he found fascinating.
So, my advice to you when people come up and grab your hand and start picking, bending, and inspecting your nails is to just act batshit crazy. It worked for me. Other people still did it, but not Elevator Man, oh no, not him ever ever again.
You are my hero
You are a goddess. Let me know when you pick a screenname so I can put it on the bottom of the statue of you that I want to put on my lawn.
One word: <snikt>.
no screen name for now, you make me proud! Good for you!
Look, lady, you’re armed. Just scratch their eyes out. When WILL people learn that violence is the solution to all the world’s problems?
Long fingernails freak me out. It’s bordering almost on a phobia.
Thank you. They are gross and creepy.
Especially when they start to curve downward ::shudder::
And it’s particularly disconcerting when the person works at a grocery store, and touches my food :eek:
I’ve even seen what appears to be clumps of shit under there.