I’m sorry to say I missed the spectacle of presidential candidates in New Hampshire doing things like flipping pancakes. Frankly, I think they should have to do a stunt in all 50 states and let the people decide. You know, steer roping in Texas, winner is the fastest. Drive across North Dakota, first one to get to Minnesota wins.
Anyone got any others?
Well, I’m in California, so I suppose something to do with wearing thongs would be appropriate.
Catrandom
(There’s a mental picture for ya!)
One I coulda done without. . .
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
- Tokugawa Ieyasu
Please tell me you mean the sandals…
Eschew Obfuscation
I’m in South Florida. The winner could grow older fastest.
If chickens could pee, they would be wet on the bottom.
Well I’m in North Carolina…we have a lot of hog farms…so let’s watch them slop the hogs
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *
They have a big hog farm in D.C. It’s called “Congress”.
In New York, they should have to drive crosstown in Manhattan. Start at East River. First one to the Hudson wins.
We’ll lose a lot of candidates this way, but it’ll be worth it.
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
In New York, they should have to drive crosstown in Manhattan. Start at East River. First one to the Hudson wins.
We’ll lose a lot of candidates this way, but it’ll be worth it.
Oh, and in New Jersey, they have to figure out how to drive out of the state without paying a toll.
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
Ohio, hmmmm… I dunno, bowling? Sounds pretty exiting, kinda like watching the milk spoil.
Here’s mud in yer eye,
UncleBeer
They can skip Connecticut altogether – How in the hell would we judge the winner of a pretentiousness contest?
Dr. Watson
“I planted four trees in the White House garden. I hope Reagan doesn’t cut them down.” – Jimmy Carter
I have an idea of what they could try here in Georgia:
See who could get a rusted-out Camaro up onto cinder blocks in the frontyard first.
Wait, wait…even better! See which one could score with their sister first!
The pacific NW tour would be cool. They could get wired in seattle, then come down to oregon and smoke a whole lot of pot. And ignore idaho entirely. Hell, I’d vote for em.
http://www.madpoet.com
Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.
Well, the obvious stunt here in Kentucky would be a horse race, but I’d personally like to see them match bourbon shots instead.
I wonder which candidate would win a good old-fashioned drink-'em-under-the-table contest? My money’s on the Shrub, although Gore could probably knock a few back himself.
Dr. J
mouthbreather, I’m getting in on this, because I’m not letting YOU have the last word on Georgia!!
Let’s see, Atlanta, they could see who can drive on 285 and comes out alive?? Hey, that is even kinda catchy!! I’m writing John Linder to send on my idea right now!!
“Consider it a challenge…”
Amish tossing in Pennsylvania…
“Though I hate 'em, I’ll defend to my death your right to use smilies.”
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
Utah: marrying as many people as possible
Iowa: corn de-tasseling
Michigan: assemble a Ford Probe in under an hour
Louisiana: who can suck the heads out of the most crayfish first
Arizona: the armadillo speed-bump rally
Rhode Island: foot race across the state
Ohio: cow tipping
Illinois: one with the highest number of voters residing in cemeteries
Indiana: race around the 500 course in the cars they built in Michigan
Veb
Someone here would like to see them in Hawaii, stripped to the waist wearing neckties and grass skirts, juggling pineapples.