Phil Gingrey is a Georgia Congressman, doctor, and the author of this editorial. (Why did my parents always believes doctors were by definition intelligent.)
My response (which also appears on my blog) with a lot more hyperlinks (I’m too busy at the moment to link this one- apologies).
Thanks for clearing that up, Congressman. I feel bad for calling my mother a lying fornicating slag for saying she married in 1952 when President Bush wasn’t elected (well, sort of) until 2000.
I’m assuming that Gingrey is referring to the god of Genesis, though there are certainly many others worshipped in Georgia and the rest of the nation and the beliefs of all are protected just as much as Gingrey’s. Going with this assumption, it’s certainly odd that the Bible never even mentions marriage until either the 29th or 34th chapter of Genesis (depending upon the translation) by which time the world’s been created, populated, depopulated, and repopulated at least once. In the 29th chapter of Genesis it refers to a union that ends in deception and polygamy while in the 34th it refers to a union that ends when the bride’s brothers kill the groom and all the men in his village during the honeymoon.
However, let’s assume that those people joined in holy same-sex unions in the Bible before these chapters were truly partners in marriage as created by God (not, repeat not, George Bush).
The first “marriage” was between Adam & Eve (unless you count legends of Adam’s earlier wives, but we’ll ignore those and go strictly with the ancient texts that are available in Wal-Mart). That “holy union” resulted in the Fall of Man, the expulsion from Paradise, original sin and an excellent novella with a beautiful epilogue by Mark Twain.
Skipping ahead many generations we come to Abraham, the man 3/5 of the world’s population claim as founder of whichever of the several one true religions they follow. Abraham was married to his half-sister, a fact which evidently bothered God not in the slightest as He chose the couple to be the direct ancestors of his Chosen people and of the Messiah (now a major motion picture). When Sarah grew impatient for a child, Abraham, at her request, impregnated Hagar, her maid (this was long before unions), whose willingness to the union is not mentioned. Later Sarah thought better of the idea and drove both maid and son into the desert. (That God wasn’t terribly upset by the first recorded surrogate mother is evidenced by the consolation gifts he gave them, which included a supernatural spring for Hagar & Ishmael and the world’s richest petroleum reserves for their descendants.) After Sarah died Abraham married again, going Tony Randall four better by siring six children when he was well over 100 and then driving them into the desert as well like a good father-uncle would do for his sort-of firstborn.
Abraham’s son and nephew Isaac married his cousin and begat twins, the younger of who was so loved by God that he became the patriarch and namesake of the nation of Israel. This son felt marriage was so holy that he married two women the same week, both of them his first cousins, and went his grandfather/granduncle one better by impregnating two household servants (with the blessings of his cousins-wives). Centuries later Moses led the children/nephews of Abraham out of bondage in Egypt and finally, at Sinai, for the first time in the Bible, God Himself delivered a few words on the institution of marriage.
For starters, in the centuries since Abraham God had evidently come to regard the marriage between half-siblings thing as icky and forbade it among future couples (Leviticus 18:9). Most other forms of incestuous union were also disallowed, including aunt-nephew marriage , a ban that couldn’t have done much for Moses’ self esteem since he was born of one, but as a consolation prize uncle-niece marriage was still permissible and marriage among cousins was recommended. After condemning homosexuality (along with multiple crops in the same garden, multiple fabrics in the same outfit, etc.) and giving more regulations on mildew riddance than one would think possible, the Lord amends the rules of the Holy Institution of marriage that He (and not, repeat not, George Bush) created by saying it is perfectly alright for a man to force a beautiful P.O.W. to marry you, so long, of course, as said P.O.W. is a woman (and so long as she shaves her head, trims her nails, and you let her mourn for a month, but all that goes without saying). In the same chapter, God gives some invaluable advice on how to figure inheritances when you have children by each of your multiple wives which, along with advice on what animals to sacrifice to get rid of mildew reminds us of just how relevant, sage and eternal the Bible’s advice still is in our everyday lives.
Much more of the same, but I’m sure by now Congressman Gingrey has already uttered the old standard the “our society is based on biblical teachings” crowd:
So let’s see what Jesus says about marriage:
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Matthew 22:30)
Hmm. Well, that’s just one Gospel’s version. In others it’s probably different.
“When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Mark 12:24)
Well, that was rather similar.
Jesus replied, "The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. (Luke 20:34-36)
And that was even more detailed. It’s almost as if Jesus saw marriage as an Earthly institution that didn’t even exist in heaven. But then again, Jesus never had to worry about re-election in Georgia and I’m sure Congressman Gingrey knows better (an M.D. is much better educated than a carpenter, after all):
Too bad the same can’t be said of the Confederate flag:
To borrow a rhetorical question of Robert Heinlein’s character Lazarus Long, “Does history record any case in which the majority was right?” Polls taken within the lifetime of millions of Georgians showed that most of the state was against miscegenation, integration and black suffrage. Too bad the Klan didn’t have good Christians like Gingrey around back then to make the government “give the folks what they want”:
And that is a crying shame. Just when we’d finally licked a poor economy and solved the problems of affordable healthcare, quality education, drug abuse, disastrous environmental pollution, illegal immigrants, terrorism, homelessness, sexually transmitted diseases and the highest national debt since Weimar, this had to come along and screw up everything.
Speaking of setting things in stone, Gingrey evidently didn’t notice that the only marital related law God Himself set in stone was that adultery is a sin. Surely, since marriage is divine and God Himself set in stone that adultery is a sin, he must also be for jailing adulterers (or at least Barr[R-GA]ing them from public office) since it’s apparently even more important to God than the right to marry a captured slave. (After all, God Himself put in on His short list.) But so long as there are more adulterers registered to vote in Georgia than there are queers, I doubt we’ll ever hear Gingrey’s reply to this one.
Odd then that laws directly affecting marriage and marital practices (polygyny, polyandry, suttee, arranged marriages, divorce, dowry, child support/custody, alimony, brideprice, etc.) differ in almost every culture (including different Christian cultures) and that even God changed His mind repeatedly on the subject.
But isn’t that just what you’re proposing to do- alter the constitution to freeze marriage for all time? How 'bout criminalizing divorce while you’re at it to really save marriage? (Oh, wait, I forgot- there are a helluva lot more divorced people registered to vote in GA than there are queers as well.)
Oh well, look not for logic in the state with the nation’s lowest SAT scores. Gays- quit your bitchin’ and stop trying to marry as that’s for decent folk. The rest of you, do as the Lord instructs regarding marriage and don’t marry that slave until she’s been bald and crying for 30 days (and if the marriage isn’t happy, don’t worry; you won’t be married to her in heaven anyhow).
