KGS- get a DSM -IV or an ICD 10.
Get a pencil.
Flip to the pages with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Bipolar Affective Disorder and Acute Psychosis.
Make crosses against anything you think applies to you. Now, make ticks against anything that * could be perceived by a third party as applying to your most recent episode*.
Warning: there are going to be quite a few ticks in the BPAD and Acute Psychosis, and not so many in the ASD pages.
That’s how psychiatrists make diagnoses- they check boxes against the lists in the diagnostic manuals.
Here is F30.2 Mania With Psychotic Symptoms from ICD-10.
“The clinical picture is that of a more severe form of mania as described above. Inflated self-esteem and grandiose ideas may develop into delusions, and irritability and suspiciousness into delusions of persecution. In severe cases, grandiose or religious delusions of identity or role may be prominent, and flight of ideas and pressure of speech may result in the individual becoming incomprehensible. Severe and sustained physical activity and excitement may result in aggression or violence, and neglect of eating, drinking, and personal hygiene may result in dangerous states of dehydration and self-neglect. If required, delusions or hallucinations can be specified as congruent or incongruent with the mood. “Incongruent” should be taken as including affectively neutral delusions and hallucinations; for example, delusions of reference with no guilty or accusatory content, or voices speaking to the individual about events that have no special emotional significance.”
While for Asperger’s it is known that psychotic episodes can happen, they aren’t thought to be AFFECTIVE: i.e. they are pure psychosis without an element of mania or depression.
Perhaps you can see how having read your notes and speaking to you for a few minutes someone might feel that you fit into the particularly labelled box of BPAD?
Certainly lack of sleep, severe dehydration and hallucinations of spaceships coming to take you away fits better into the BPAD box than it does the Aspergers box.
Just because one doctor, who you like, has diagnosed you with ASD rather than Schizoaffective disorder or BPAD, it doesn’t mean that everyone has to agree with their diagnosis, nor that their diagnosis is correct or set in stone.
You had psychotic symptoms, you were offered an anti-psychotic medication.
This is not your first psychotic episode, so your risk of further episodes is high, so you were advised not to stop taking it.
You were offered one of the best anti-psychotics on the market- no, it’s not perfect, it has side-effects, but the same could be said for all medications.
I know I’m typing this mostly for my benefit, because you aren’t going to take any of this on board, and you’re not likely to agree with me, but I still felt I had to say it. I hope you feel better soon.