Thanks for all the replies.
Yes, she is and has been fully aware of the credit card situation. I pay most of the bills. she pays a handful.
Filipinos have a different attitude toward debt, I think. I once read that debt is the glue which holds Filipino society together.
I’m outta time.
You would be insane to follow your wifes advice. You have zero disposal income. Sit down with her with a piece of paper and do the math. Show her how this is not possible and explain how lucky she is to have all she does. Show her how this will affect your budget and what you would have to go without to do this. If anything happened to either of you it might mean losing the house.
Sometimes just sitting down and doing the math breaks through the “I wants”. You also may want to start saving for a rainy day. You should have money set aside in case of emergency.
I really want to redo my living room but I don’t because I needed a newer car more then a couch. Now that I have bought the newer car I am saving for the couch. That is how I do it. Is it a necessity or is it a want? Good Luck!
If she is promising a PT job she can get it and use it to start a down payment fund.
This will allow for:
A: no dodging out on promise once house is bought.
B: more time to build equity in current house.
C: Money will be had on hand for the invariable surprise expenses any move might entail.
Basically look at having the whole 20% down on hand in the bank account before you even go looking.
If you can pull the 20%, its gonna take a couple years no matter what. Either that or start making payments equivalent to the new house on the old one. That way you can feel the budget hit, and you will start building equity like crazy, especially when offsetting all that interest you would have been paying on that principal.
If a $1900/mo house payment does not work with your budget, you will have a perfect test drive while risking nothing.
Granted, if you wanna pay extra is should be going to the CC debt, its probably at a much higher interest rate.
This is what we experienced last year when we changed houses - it’s going to be about a year before we’re recovered financially from the costs associated with selling, buying, and moving. One of the biggest costs we hadn’t counted on was paying a whopping penalty to our bank for paying out the mortgage early - it was an unwritten policy for years with banks that if you got a new mortgage at the same bank for the new house, they’d waive the penalty, but last summer they simply wouldn’t. Then there was the actual cost of the move, the emotional and physical cost of packing up, fixing up, and cleaning up our house for selling, the drama of selling to idiots, moving to the new house, unpacking at the new place - and you wife wants to do all this working a job and a half? You can tell her from me that her idea is nuts - I wasn’t working at all while we did this, and it exhausted me. My ulcer still hasn’t cleared up from last summer.
This was the other thing I was going to say: tell her, sure, but the down payment has to be in the bank first. So, she can start her second job now, and find things to cut out of the budget (paying down CC debt is non-negotiably in the budget, of course), and the more she saves, the sooner the new house happens. If it turns out after X months there are no savings, well then it’s clear you can’t afford the new house. And if she does manage to get the down payment together, then both of you win.
You can’t afford it. End of discussion.