I forgot to mention: Sometimes my alcohol system is diluted by blood, and a beer or several fixes it right up! 
http://www.drunkard.com/issues/07_03/07-03-why-i-drink.htm
I think that rambling covers all my reasons.
In honor of this thread and all the entertaining responses found within, I shall now repair to the parlor for a double Grey Goose greyhound.
toasts SDMB
come back to this thread in about 5 years when you’re old enough to drink little boy.