I know a number of people who drink - both of my friends, my sister, and my father.
For all of these people, drink is an important and prominent presence and entity in their life. “Having fun,” in their minds, equals “drinking.” It seems they cannot have fun without drinking. For my sister and one friend, this drinking is not simply a drink or two but getting drunk, quite drunk. (And my friend will then pick someone up to have a one-night stand with.) Actually, everyone I know who drinks does it until they get drunk.
Why? Why must they use drink as a crutch? Whenever I ask them, they say that they don’t need it, but in reality they can’t do without it.
They’re not alcoholics, but drink is a very prominent element in their social lives and in their pursuit of enjoyment and fun. I imagine this is not unique or rare. I don’t drink, and I don’t feel I need to drink, so this is a mystery to me. Maybe soemthing done now and then, something “social,” something for fun - that I can understand. But to depend on it? To need it? To be unable to do without it when one wants to have fun or enjoy oneself or one’s friends? This escapes my understanding.
So, especially those who know how much they depend on drink, why is this so? How does it feel to know that you must have this thing in order to “have fun”?
I can’t speak for your friends but I like getting a buzz on to have fun. When I was younger I favoured different mood altering substances, all of which are illegal. Now I generally stick to alcohol but once in a while use other things. I don’t need any of them to have fun and lots of fun things are not fun under the influence but when I want to feel that pleasant glow of one too many I go right ahead.
I pretty much only drink when I can allow myself to get plastered. Why? It’s fun. I like getting sloppy drunk with a bunch of other friends getting sloppy drunk and falling over. But it is a very rare event. Perhaps 4-5 times a year - and less as the years go on.
For a few years I was in the mind set that social time with friends meant a trip to the beer store first (and several times through the night). But we were young and it was just sort of the “thing” we did. It also wasn’t always a waste of time. Many times playing music was involved and many great songs started as a drunken jam session. We also played games, joked around, and enjoyed each others company. I think all but one of us grew out of the drunken weekend scene.
I don’t know if it is a crutch as much as just a social habit.
Drinking is like a mini vacation. It helps one to leave his or her problems or stress at the door. Plus it just makes everything more fun. Also the conversation had with friends is alot more free flowing (sometimes this is a bad thing)
Go on, try it, you might like it… /evil grin
I love a drink - it relaxes, it stimulates, it lubricates the mind: nothing like a couple of cold beers at the end of a long day, or a bottle or two of good red wine in the evening with friends, or a few bourbons for a heart-to-heart with my best mate. Drinking is one of life’s pleasures.
I’ve tried most illegal drugs - marijuana, speed, LSD, cocaine, even heroin - and I found that I disliked most of them: partly for their physical effects, but mostly because they’re essentially solitary vices, whereas alcohol {and a few cigarettes}is definitely social.
I hate being drunk, however: it was fine when I was 19 and at university, and every other night was party night: I have some great memories of those times, but as I’ve grown older I’ve put that kind of drinking behind me, for the most part: getting a pleasant buzz is one thing, but I hate losing control. I would suggest that anyone past a certain age {say 25} who HAS to get drunk on social occasions has a problem.
I’m not advocating that you take up drinking: if you don’t like alcohol or its effects, I completely respect that - I’m just explaining the allure of drinking for me.
Actually the OP’s question puzzles me too when it comes to certain individuals.
Alcohol affects different people differently. I have one friend who, when drunk, is quite a happy drunk. He just sits there and grins and has a fun time. I understand why he gets drunk on occassion. But I have another friend who drinks and when he gets drunk he gets terribly depressed. Miserably depressed. Happens every single time I have ever seen him drunk. And then later, when sober, talks about his being drunk as if he had a good time. He didn’t have a good time at all. Maybe he just remembers it differently.
Other folks have vices of their own, like pious self-righteousness. I am given to understand that that one is so addictive that many who indulge never kick the habit.
Well a big part of the allure of drink is that it’s “adult.” Teens in the US want to be grownup so they want to get hammered like they think adults do.
Another part is the Cult Of Beer in our society. It has been heavily inculcated in our culture that it isn’t a party without alcohol. Advertisers support this whatever demographic they go for. Party beers like Coors show everyone having a rockin’ party while holding a coors, while some brands show 30-somethings having a classy get-together with their product.
I suspect the allure of beer would not be as strong if there wasn’t so much peer pressure to drink it.
As to the OP, if they have to drink to have fun, then they have problems with alcohol. They probably don’t reallyhave to, though. Do they have to get drunk to go see a movie, for example?
I think the attraction has mainly to do with lessening one’s self control. The amount of control a person (i.e., me) has to exercise to get along can get fairly stressful. Alcohol in moderate amounts is great for relieving stress.
As to getting drunk, I don’t really know what the attraction is, even though I’ve done it more than I care to admit to. I don’t think it’s anything rational, because my rational mind will tell me that I’m very likely to end up less cheerful, and have a crushing hangover the next day. I think it’s more the mind sending itself signals that say, “Hey, this anesthesia is great. More’s gotta be better.”
Somehow over the years this tendency has lessened in me. After more than two or three drinks, I start thinking I’m going to be sorry if I don’t put on the brakes. So while I am physically capable of pounding down 9 or 10 drinks, I generally stop at 4 or 5.
It’s nice to take your mind away from reality, and sometimes alcohol is all that’s available. We do what we have to do to get through our daily existences, and for many people, that involves substances. For others it’s shopping or food, or gambling, etc. Coping mechanisms are a perfectly adult thing to have.
And blah on the people who call everyone an alchololic. I’m sorry, but college binge-drinkers are not all alcoholics. Some of them might grow up to be, but drinking in college is a normal activity that almost everyone participates in. It is fun, it is a social lubricant. If you don’t care to participate, I’m sure you can find many university sanctioned events that are sparsely filled with sober people such as yourself.
My idea of having fun is hanging out with my friends, chatting, debating the merits of various movies, books, video games, tv shows, and whatnot, and (more often than not) playing grames. If I have more than one drink (yeah, I’m a lightweight), my speech slurs and I have a hard time thinking, so alcohol gets in the way of me doing the things that I think are fun.
I also don’t get than sense of euphoria that, for other people, seems to make being drunk fun in and of itself. I sometimes wonder how much of that sense of euphoria is chemical, and how much is a conditioned response. If all your friends are telling you that being drunk = a fun time, then you associate the feeling of being drunk with being happy. Or, contrarywise, maybe I suppress whatever chemical euphoria I might experience because of my own conditioning. Due to my father’s alcoholism, I tend, deep down, to associate being drunk with being incoherent, angry, irresponsible, and generally pathetic. I know, intellectually that you can enjoy alcohol safely in moderation and not be like my dad was when he was drunk, so I don’t look down on people who are responsible drinkers, but I just don’t enjoy it, myself.
I believe that drinking/drugs is just like other diversions such as music, sex, tv, etc. It’s a means to transcend your life. A means to escape from the problems/concerns/pain/anxiety of everyday life. It only becomes a problem if you let it. When the means becomes the end, you have a problem. When your primary goal in life is to get that next drink or get that next injection, the means has become the end for you, and it’s a long journey to get back to where you were.
I have two coworkers just like this, and they’re always talking abut hitting the bar, where I’d rather go out somewheres to watch a movie or have a meal. Always wanting to drink. They don’t get drunk, but they literally refuse to go anywhere in their free time if they can’t drink there.
I drink regularly, but almost never get drunk. I like the taste, and I like the effect of mild relaxation. Anyone who drinks to “get drunk” is abusing alcohol and its bebefits.
