Why two forums instead of one ... or three?

When I first started reading The Straight Dope, it took me a while to twig that some columns were written by ‘Cecil’ and others by the SDSAB. I also wondered why it kept showing dates from years ago. I didn’t twig the three different types of column at first, and the distinction doesn’t matter allthat much. So, why do we have seperate forums for comments Cecils columns and comments on Staff reports? Why not have a single forum that covers both? I suggest merging the two.

And if there is some genuine good reason for having seperate forums for them, why not have a third forum for classic columns? That would make just as much sense.

Because we of the SDSAB are petty and worthless worms, and our reports are at best incomplete, inaccurate, shopworn, boring, inane, Satanic, pornnographic, and/or indicative of deep and untreatable psychosis which is only kept in check by massive amounts of clinical hallucinogens, thrice-daily ECT, and tag-team psychotherapy. This expectedly generates loads of criticism about the so-called “Staff Reports”, which is typically inflammatory, vile, and spot-on.

Cecil’s columns, on the other hand, tend to generate verbal genuflection, worship, praise; they also generate offers of sex, cookies, backrubs, and having both babies and Aegis-class cruisers named after him.

Thus, it’s best to separate the two types of responses.

First, note that stuff not by Cecil is always clearly labelled “Staff Report”, unless it’s labelled “Mailbag” which was the earlier incarnation. (Digression: A carnation is a type of flower, a tarnation is a type of tar, and an incarnation is when an entire country goes on the road.)

Second, if you promise not to tell anyone else, the reason for separate forums is political. Cecil likes to look at comments on his own columns, from time to time, and sometimes even responds to them. He likes the one that gush in praise, of course. He doesn’t want to waste his time looking at comments on Staff Reports. Hence, a separate forum so that he won’t need to search through a whole forum to find what he’s interested in.

Twig? What meaning does that have other than a small section of tree branch?

twig *v. Chiefly British *

  1. To observe or notice.
  2. To understand or figure out: “The layman has twigged what the strategist twigged almost two decades ago” (Manchester Guardian Weekly).

I don’t think this is going to catch on, even if it was used by an American writer.

:eek: [sup]Maybe this could evolve into a Staff Report[/sup]

[sub]That last was an attempt to get back on subject.[/sub]

I’m sorry that you were initially confused by the different types of offerings that are available at the Straight Dope. I am somewhat surprised and dismayed that this happened, since each entry on the Straight Dope Front Page is followed by a little blurb that says:

(By Cecil Adams) The new columns, which arrive every Friday;
(A Straight Dope Classic by Cecil Adams) , which is on the Classic Columns, with new ones being posted to the front page Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday;
(Staff Report by a member of the Straight Dope Science and Advisory Board or a guest contributor), which are posted on most Tuesdays.

Yes, I can see how very confusing this could be.

Further bewilderment can doubtless be found on the Archives page, where quite a few of our past offerings are listed in their respective categories, including Threadspotting and Weird Earl nominations.

Cecil’s work, past and present, stands alone. He is, after all, the Master.

The work of the SDSAB, however fine it may be (and quite a few of them are very fine indeed), is not the work of the Master. Never the twain shall meet.

Thank you for your recommendation. Pardon us if we do not take it under advisement.

your humble TubaDiva

Not even samclem?

Oh, excellent! :smiley:

Please note that Una’s remarks do not apply to all members of the SDSAB, except for the part about massive amounts of clinical hallucinogens.

Is it cockney rhyme slang?

Don’t think so, me old china. Not all Brit expressions are rhyming slang. Use your loaf.

I *told *you it was a good idea. Shame it took you so long. :stuck_out_tongue:

Haha! I never even noticed when they merged the two. Isn’t revenge sweet?

Thanks! I grok.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”–Ralph Waldo Emerson

But the Satanic pornnographic ones seem to have disappeared :confused:! Where do I find them? They get me all excited! :smiley: