It’s got a good beat. I could dance to it. I’ll give it a 83!
Bruce Springsteen’s Thunder Road:
Oh yeah, that’ll sweep her off her feet. :rolleyes:
One of the all-time classics, tho, except for that clunky line.
Winner and all-time champion: “Timothy” by…well, I forget who. The song’s story involves three mine workers trapped in a cave-in. Timothy, one of the three, winds up getting eaten by the other two. “My belly was as full as it could be/And no one ever got around to finding Timothy.” Why on earth would anybody write this song?
I have to second “Second Chance” by .38 Special, just because of one line…“I never needed her/She was willing/And that’s all there is to say.” Actually, no, it’s not all there is to say. WHY WERE YOU WILLING?
I had the same thought as Jonathan Chance on “Lovefool,” too.
As far as stalking songs played at weddings, I’ve always thought that Jewel’s “You Were Meant For Me” fell into that catagory…(It DOES have obsessive overtones):
“I know you love me
And soon you will see
I was meant for you
And you were meant for me”
Another thing that bothers me…someone mentioned weddings, and songs played at them. Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are” was, according to an interview I read with him, a very tongue-in-cheek jab at his first wife, Elizabeth. Apparently, they split up during the writing and recording of the album “The Stranger.” Billy wrote that as a therepeu…therepue…cathartic way of saying that he basically everything she wasn’t. To me, playing a song that was written out of spite at a wedding seems a little odd.
I’ve always thought that “Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad” by Meat Loaf was a little off:
“I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now, don’t be sad
'Cause two outta three ain’t bad”
What about “The Lumberjack” by Jackyl?
“I’m a lumberjack now baby
But I ain’t jacked my lumber baby
Since my chain saw you”
Bonnie Tyler in “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
“I don’t know what to do
I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg
And giving off sparks”
As much as I love 'em, Counting Crows have some off the wall lyrics:
“And the last one out of the circus
Has to lock up everything
Or the elephants will get out
And forget to remember what you said”
-Mrs. Potter’s Lullabye
-or-
“I dream of Michaelangelo
When I’m lying in my bed
Little angels hang above my head
Read me like an open book
Suck my blood, break my nerve
Offer me their arms
Well, I will not be an enemy of anything
I only stand here
Waiting for you”
-Angels of the Silences
I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
That’s not romantic. That’s gross. Doesn’t death usually involve a certain loss of control of bodily functions?
Bleah.
I would have to say the entire first album of Filter’s. The lyrics and rhyming are so shamefull.
Well, sure. Wouldn’t that pretty much cover all of humanity, male and female?
And isn’t that line “I’m a goddess on my knees” some kind of veiled reference to fellatio?
[
sub]Hope I haven’t said too much[/sub]
Heehee - my fiance and I heard a commercial one day for an album of “most romantic songs ever” or some such crap, and Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” was on it! We laughed ourselves silly (as everyone knows, this is the ultimate break-up song), and now that we’re trying to pick our own wedding songs, it’s a running joke for us to suggest particularly ridiculous ones, like Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”. Just imagine the grandparents when that starts playing as our first dance!
But for the title of Least Romantic Song Ever Written, I think I have to go with The Bloodhound Gang’s “The Bad Touch” (The Discovery Channel song).
Well, call me crazy, but “Let’s Get It On” is one of the finalists for my wedding song. It’s not about one night stands, it’s about beautiful love making between two consenting adults. And love. And sex. 
**Wedding Hijack Con’t ** At my sisters wedding the band chose to start the dance with “The Breakup Song” by Greg Kihn…they explained after the song that they weren’t wishing my sister and brother-in-law bad luck, but that this was the bands last gig before breaking up. Still it was a hellava shock to hear that as the first dance at a wedding.
Keith
Hell, if that’s your criteria, Marvin Gaye’s “After the Dance” would be much more fitting.
“I want you, and
You want me, so
Why don’t we
Get together after the dance?”
Played during the first dance, it ought to bring down the house. Just be sure it’s over before the bride’s father comes for his dance. 
Thanks for the advice Tommy, but we aren’t having the traditional wedding reception, so there isn’t a “first dance”. We are just going to have a song played after the ceremony that we can call “our song”.
And, I don’t have a dad, so that won’t be a problem. 
When “Bitch” first came out and was getting a lot of airplay there was a PSA running that talked about men having those type of mood swings. It essentially said if your husband/boyfriend exhibits this type of behavior, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW! HE WILL KILL YOU!!!. It seems to me that if that’s true for men, it’s also true for women.
By Hal David & Burt Bacharach no less. The nastiest song to come out of the 60’s, “Wives And Lovers”.
And a one and a two . . .
Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger
You needn’t try anymore
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I’m warning you…
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He’s almost here…
Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you’d wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love
eeeeeeeeee - aarrgghh!
I work in a grocery store at night. I can’t help hearing the shitty “light rock” music over the store sound system. I have no idea who the artist is, but every night I hear “If you ever leave me, will you take me with you?” That’s just plain stupid to me.
Someone mentione off-the-wall lyrics. I love the Beastie Boys. How about “I got a girl in the castle and one in the pagoda…ya know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda”. That still cracks me up
Ah yes, the modern day Shakespeares of Jackyl. Who among us can ever forget their soaring opus “She Loves My Cock”, which I think qualifies for the OP and the worst wedding song hijack. Imagine that song coming on while granny and gramps are out two-stepping :eek:
That hideous song “Tonight’s the Night”, who was that, anyway? Loosely paraphrased, “I’ve had enough waiting and I’m gonna do you tonight, so spread 'em, nothin’s gonna stop me now.”
AHunter, it’s Rod Stewart
Rod Stewart, if it’s the one I’m thinking of.
Oh, what about “Walkin’ Change?” Opening lines:
“I don’t want your love
But I’ll take your money”
-or-
“Smoke signal rising from your cigarette
Like an indian warrior
Taking all I can get
You’re never quite sure just how much I know
Only that they call me Chief Rock-a-Ho
Because I’m here for right now
Day after day
I’ll use you up and then
I’ll throw you away
Pumping like a diesel
Stopping on a dime
I’ve been a bad boy
For such a long time, and I’m
Feeling sleazy dirty
Feeling kinda mean
Feeling up and down
And in between
Feeling kinda cocky
Feel I’m on a rise
Feel myself a-cummin’ between your thighs”
-Or-
“I start to laugh when I’m drinkin’
And I may tell a joke or two
Sometimes I even pretend
That I’m still in love with you”
All by Jackyl. A band that I [secretly] like.