You’re right- mistook the time line. I was responding to even sven who brought in the ‘years later’ comment I think my point still stands. She’s not complaining of a lack of gushing, but the presence of only complaining.
Not sure what rest has to do with my post, though.
I lived in Seattle for four years. My mom and the rest of my family live in Ohio. They came to visit me one time in the four years I lived there. We went on a ferry ride to Bainbridge Island, we had lunch at the Space Needle restaurant, we saw the Museum of Flight, we went to the Ballard locks and saw boats coming through…it was a great time.
The only thing my mom ever mentions about this trip is how annoying the car trip out there was. And yes, I find this irritating. Does that make me some kind of VacationZilla?
I was just adding on to what you were saying, not disputing it.
But it actually wasn’t an AWESOMELY FUN DAY for the Dad and Stepmom. They experienced a major theft! Here they though they were going to have a really fun vacation made even better by their daughter’s wedding, and they end up having to spend it dealing with police reports, uncooperative hotel managers, and having to budget for the $1,000+ hit their finances will take replacing things.
All I remember about my high school graduation is “My friends and family were all there and it was really cool, and I was utterly miserable because I had this crappy head cold.” We remember bad stuff a lot more vibrantly than the good stuff. Losing $100 gives us more pain that winning $100 gives us joy.
The OP had an awesomely fun day because it was one of the most important days in her life that she had probably dreamed about for some time. But most of us don’t hang around dreaming about other people’s weddings- other people’s weddings are pretty much a nice night out in our busy lives. The fact that the bride is having an awesomely fun time is really, really nice. But it doesn’t mean that you are having an awesomely fun time yourself, and if something actually bad happened to you, then yeah, you probably have stronger memories of that shitty thing that happened to you over some nice thing happening to someone else.
I guess it’s a little tone deaf to keep mentioning it. But it kind of is their reality…I don’t see any reason to take it personally rather than just accepting that they did not enjoy the day quite as much as you did, for various reasons. Would you rather they lie, or say some meaningless positive platitudes? Or would you rather that they actually did have a better time than they did? I’m sure they wish that, too. But it’s who they are and how they process things, so what can you do? Wish they were different, better people?
Ok- I was confused!
Well, the OP is who she is and she was somewhat peaved that her step-mother brought this up in the limo on the way the ceremony. And that’s it. She didn’t throw a bridezilla-style fit. She didn’t let it ruin her day. She didn’t give her step-mother the cold shoulder. It appears that all she did as a result was mention it in a MPSIMS thread as a way to kick off a thread about similar experiences people may have had. From my reading of the OP, she was a bit miffed but it was not nearly as big of a deal to her that some people seem to be making it out to be.
This is far from universal, and I feel a little bad for you if this is your reality. I tend to minimize negative experiences in favor of positive ones.
I would personally rather that if my mother didn’t have anything positive to say about her trip, that she would just STFU about it. I don’t need to constantly hear about how her trip to Seattle was ruined by the terrible car ride, and I’m sure the OP doesn’t need to keep hearing about the stupid stolen laptop either.
Exactly. Night before my son’s bar mitzvah our computer crashed badly and we lost the hard drive. Our speeches, table arrangements, address lists (for thank you notes) and what ended up being a big bill replace it.
We tell this as a ridiculous story, but the only thing I feel when I think or talk about that day is happiness and pride. And I would never go on and on to my son about how much of a bummer it was.
I don’t think the OPer is a bridezilla at all. But I do think that if her relationship was more solid with her stepmom, the trespass would have been more easily forgiven. I also think that no matter when the theft was mentioned, it would have colored the wedding day in hindsight. No help for it. For that, you can blame the thief.
I think the lady whose husband invited her friends over for a surprise party and then told her he was divorcing her takes the cake.
Most weddings are pretty much the same, though. What else is there to say? And if something as annoying as a computer theft happens, it makes sense that you’re going to pick up on the memorable part rather than, “Remember when we ate cake,” and “Wasn’t the chicken dance awesome?”
Ouch. Talk about when your guard is down.
But even if it’s your own child? I can’t imagine feeling ho hum about my son or daughter’s wedding- no matter how simple or elaborate.
Well, yeah, they should acknowledge it was a happy day and it seems like they did, but how often are people talking about a wedding that happened a while ago? I mean why does the OP care that people aren’t going about such a happy day now that it’s over? What’s the point?
But that’s not the complaint, as I read it. It’s that when they choose to bring the day up its to complain about the computer. Don’t bring it up if it’s not a big deal, but don’t go on and on how your wedding trip sucked, either.
^ This. Thank you, Rilchiam.
I think the stepmom should have mentioned the theft right away so you could all know that your stuff wasn’t safe in your rooms.
I think it was weird when she mentioned it but not that big of a deal. As someone mentioned above it might have been a relationship issue between the two of you that made this comment stand out in your mind? If your best friend mentioned a similar thing would you have been equally irritated?
One other thing: You’re not happy that the only thing they ever mention about the whole trip is their stolen compuer, I hope that you’r not mentioning your stepmom’s comment to everyone as something that made your day less fun. Then you would be doing kind of the same thing. You should just act like she never said it.
So, my examples. When I told my mom I was getting married she said “don’t expect me to pay for an expensive wedding”. Like I would expect her to pay for anything for me ever, she who made even needing new underwear a major crime in my childhood to the point that I had been buying my own everything since 9th grade.
When I told her I was pregnant she said " don’t expect me to babysit ". Like I would let her.
And a few months after my baby was born she told me that I looked better, that the last time I saw her I was getting pretty big, I was 8 months pregnant the last time I saw her.
I hope as I age I can keep my mouth shut better than the majority of older people I know.
Ooh, ooh, I have another one.
When my son was one month old he was hospitalized for RSV, and the first night he almost died. I called my mom back in Ohio from Children’s Hospital to let her know. I said, “We’re at Children’s Hospital,” and the first thing she said was, “What happened?” I told her. The second thing she said was, “You should get him baptized. You know, just in case.”
Thanks, Mom. Helpful.
You should have replied “Don’t worry Mom, the Mormons have our back on this one” 
Yes. It was the timing. Like other posters said, I couldn’t do a damn thing about it, so why couldn’t it wait until later?
(bolding mine.)
This is exactly what I did. I haven’t mentioned it to anybody when talking about our wedding, except my Mom after we got home because she said she saw the look on my face and wondered WTF I had just been told.
I only told you guys because I figured it made a good story to solicit other anecdotes.
About a year ago, my dad called me late one evening and asked what I was doing. I told him I was out at dinner with my then-boyfriend. My dad then proceeded to tell me he had cancer and had 12-18 months to live. We were on the phone for about half an hour, and I was crying through most of the conversation.
My ex asked me if my dad was drunk when he called and if I thought he was telling the truth. Yes and yes. My dad is an alcoholic, but he’s not in the habit of making shit up. My ex then asked if I wanted to stay for dessert. Seriously? Then, on the way up to our hotel room, he asked if I wanted to have sex, like nothing was wrong. My reply was something along the lines of “What the fuck?” and then he got all pouty because I was upset.
A couple weeks later, my grandma calls to chew me out because my dad and stepmom went around telling everyone in the family that when my dad told me he had cancer, I said “That’s too bad” and hung up. We were on the phone for half an hour. I was crying through most of it. Everyone knows he’s an alcoholic and his memory sucks, but not for one second did anyone in my family give me the benefit of the doubt. Instead, they’re mad at me for weeks without telling me because apparently they all think I’m some kind of monster who doesn’t give a damn that her father is sick and going to die.
It’s been a year and the whole thing still pisses me off, and I guarantee you there are still family members who think all I said was “That’s too bad” when my dad told me he had cancer.
I guess this was more “WTF?” or “How can you possibly think that was appropriate?” than “Why are you telling me this now?” Sorry.