:dubious: That place has the weirdest weather patterns. Lighting clouds form out of nowhere.
Let’s see…no childhood abuse, no unnatural bedwetting, no cruelty to animals.
Like a few others, I’m really more of the “crazed sniper”/“bloody rampage followed by spectacular suicide” type. Maybe even the “set off a superweapon of unfathomable destructive power in a politically volitile area” type. Y’know, I might be okay destroying people as long as I didn’t have to touch them. (Ick. Filthy humans.)
Theoretically, I think it would be interesting to kill, just to see if I could fool all the forensics. But in reality, not only could I not kill (except of course in self defense or the defense of others), forensics would catch me pretty quickly.
My fingerprints are on file (No no…I"m not a criminal, it’s from a contract with the police for disposal of hazmat from drug busts), I have a Mini-aussie who sheds like crazy, and now, a kitten. My job as an enviro-scientist puts me in contact with all sorts of chemicals which would likely be very traceable back to me forensically speaking.
And last but definitely not least, I’d not be able to stand it, and would probably confess after just one killing.
Besides, I can’t think of a reason to be a serial murderer. I don’t hate anyone enough to kill them. Nor am I pyschologically ill. Even if I wanted “revenge” I’ve always been of the opinion that making a person suffer in some karmic way while alive is Waaaaay more satisfying than getting over quickly.
Yah.
Tiger & worm infestations, too.
If you can stroke the kitten menacingly while saying, “I expect you to . . . die,” you can at least be a super-villain.
I just don’t have the sticktoitiveness I think a quality serial killer requires.
Mailing people anthrax is way more my speed. But I never have stamps. Why is this all so hard? sob
The dental plan and health insurance are horrible.
On the other hand, serial killing does have a great retirement plan seeing how everyone you kill becomes your slave in the afterlife. Now I may have to consider it. Thanks for the idea.
Are you kidding? I know this one guy, he has a whole bucket of teeth.
I have a dog and two cats. I live in a swirling cloud of animal fur. I find hair from my pets in my car, my workplace, everywhere I’ve been. They’d connect all the pet hair from the crime scene to me in no time.
If it wasn’t for that I’d give it a try.
Yeah, but he had to dig them out of a river of pig shit.
I just don’t have the patience for it. One at a time? It’d take to long.
Clocktower. That’s the way to go.
Pet hair? Pet hair?
If only pet hair were what I had to worry about. I shed.
I shed so much that my landlord accused me of keeping a dog in my no-pets apartment, from the hair in the corner. I’d leave trace evidence all over the place, unless I were in a forced-air wet suit. And that’s just too damned much like work to wear that…
And, inconspicuous, it’s not.
I might go on a murderous rampage, but I’d probably oversleep, give up and just sit around and watch TV.
Hmmm…
Pigs? Check.
Acreage? Check.
Loner mentality? Check.
Hugenormous stockpot, numerous people into my cooking? Check.
The drawbacks: I can keep my place “picked up” but only do hardcore-scrub-the-baseboards cleaning when the mood hits me, and that particular mood seems like it wouldn’t cross itself with a murderous rage. That and I’m bad at keeping big secrets like that.
I have a tendency to procrastinate.
I’d keep saying “I’ll go out and kill people later” and then never get around to it.
You have Kylie Minogue as a pet !?!
I couldn’t be because my dog, who’s been possessed by Satan, has told me not to.
I’m lazy and impatient. A serial killer reputation takes time to establish, and I prefer not to wait on things. And the work! I can barely convince myself to keep the kitchen clean, let alone bother with the process of making sure a crime scene is cleaned up.
But at least you’d be accurate.
Plus, you aren’t a white male.