I was standing at one end of the Potatoes display at the grocery store, trying to figure out the difference between “russet” and “Idaho”, and the pistachio bin was under it at knee-level, right next to me. Suddenly there came a 3-year-old boy, moving fast, darting straight to the bin, where he opened the lid and quickly grabbed a pistachio and stuffed it into his mouth. Finding it salty instead of sweet, he naturally took it out of his mouth and put it carefully back into the bin, selecting another one, which was also salty, and then another one…
Now, normally I mind my own business when other people’s kids act up in the grocery store, but I make an exception for preschoolers with “choke items” in their mouths. I automatically reached down and closed the lid firmly in his little face, saying, “No-no, don’t touch.” Startled, he darted back to where Mommy was standing at the other end of the Potatoes display (also trying to figure out the difference between “russet” and “Idaho”), but a moment later he was back at the pistachio bin. Glancing swiftly up at the strange lady, he didn’t bother picking and choosing this time, but simply stuffed three of them into his mouth.
So I grabbed his little hand and marched him firmly over to a rather startled Mommy, (“what is this woman doing with my son?”) telling her apologetically, “Uhh–he’s got pistachios in his mouth”, whereupon, knowing himself to be “busted”, Junior obligingly spat them out onto the floor. Mommy, horrified and embarrassed, took him around the corner to the Apples display, and a moment later I heard the gratifying roar of a throughly reprimanded 3-year-old.
And so that, boys and girls, is why you shouldn’t buy pistachios by the scoop at the grocery store.
And in case this turns into a “why in the world don’t people control their children?” thread, I will say in Mommy’s defense that there’s nothing on Earth that moves quite as fast as a preschooler bent on mischief. There’s something almost gecko-like about it, you know? All you mommies know what I’m talking about…