Why you shouldn't buy pistachios by the scoop from the bin (WARNING: TMI) (heh)

I was standing at one end of the Potatoes display at the grocery store, trying to figure out the difference between “russet” and “Idaho”, and the pistachio bin was under it at knee-level, right next to me. Suddenly there came a 3-year-old boy, moving fast, darting straight to the bin, where he opened the lid and quickly grabbed a pistachio and stuffed it into his mouth. Finding it salty instead of sweet, he naturally took it out of his mouth and put it carefully back into the bin, selecting another one, which was also salty, and then another one…

Now, normally I mind my own business when other people’s kids act up in the grocery store, but I make an exception for preschoolers with “choke items” in their mouths. I automatically reached down and closed the lid firmly in his little face, saying, “No-no, don’t touch.” Startled, he darted back to where Mommy was standing at the other end of the Potatoes display (also trying to figure out the difference between “russet” and “Idaho”), but a moment later he was back at the pistachio bin. Glancing swiftly up at the strange lady, he didn’t bother picking and choosing this time, but simply stuffed three of them into his mouth.

So I grabbed his little hand and marched him firmly over to a rather startled Mommy, (“what is this woman doing with my son?”) telling her apologetically, “Uhh–he’s got pistachios in his mouth”, whereupon, knowing himself to be “busted”, Junior obligingly spat them out onto the floor. Mommy, horrified and embarrassed, took him around the corner to the Apples display, and a moment later I heard the gratifying roar of a throughly reprimanded 3-year-old.

And so that, boys and girls, is why you shouldn’t buy pistachios by the scoop at the grocery store. :smiley:

And in case this turns into a “why in the world don’t people control their children?” thread, I will say in Mommy’s defense that there’s nothing on Earth that moves quite as fast as a preschooler bent on mischief. There’s something almost gecko-like about it, you know? All you mommies know what I’m talking about…

Nice one, DDG. I’m sure Mama appreciated being apprised of the situation! :slight_smile:

I for one certainly didn’t think “Why doesn’t that woman control her child?” - 8-year-olds bent on mayhem or just not interested in listening to you are just as sneaky. It’s when you’re aware of what they’re doing and not acting on it that gets me irritated.

I would have just shoved the kid head-first into the pistachio bin and closed the lid, but hey, that’s just me.

As far as the “warning” goes: unless you grew/raised the food yourself, it has been tampered with. Ignorance is bliss (or in this case, sanity).

… don’t eat the mints

Russets are shaped like Russia, kind of raound, and red.
Get it, Russ-ettes?
Idahos are oval and tan, sort of like Idaho.

The grocery store I shop at most often got rid of all the bulk food bins, and now I’m really glad they did.

Nah. Russets and Idahos are the same thing. Big long darkish-brown spuds with rough skins and they get mealy inside when you cook 'em, so they’re perfect for baked potatoes but tend to crumble if you put them in soup.

Red potatoes are, uh, “red potatoes.” Unless they’re small, in which case they’re “new potatoes,” which can also be light brown. On the other hand, California Long Whites are also light brown, but longer. Got it?

Actually, that is one of the major reasons I don’t eat a buffet at a family resteraunt. Without faliure, I see a little nose picker get up on his tippy-toes to take a peek at the food… and who can blame them for that? It’s pretty neat to look at.

What inevitably follows though is a little “hack-cough-cough”. Kid then goes down the buffet table, repeats. Of course, the child being so short their head is nicely under the sneeze guard so that makes certain the food gets a nice spray.

I swear, each time I go to a “family” resteraunt and there is a buffet, I always see that.


If you think that’s bad, listen to this.

I was at one of those warehouse-type grocery stores with the bulk bins full of candy. A couple of little kids (guessing about seven, eight) were taking great pleasure in rummaging through the various shapes and sizes of gummi characters with their grubby little hands, picking out the ones that appealed to them, licking the backs of them and sticking them on the wall.

At least it was…artistic, I guess.

Yeah, I know what you’re talking about too.

I have to pat the boys down when we leave a store. Any store. They could have glommed onto a bowling ball and I wouldn’t be surprised.

Oh, yeah? What are Irish potatoes, Smarty Pants? And what do you call them on Tuesday, small or not?


D.D.G. - Cut the Doper Dads of The World a wee bit of slack here, snickerdoodle. We know our kids have the snack food magnet blues too.

I’ve always seen my kids as having the consumption potential of a reticulated python. Upon viewing a tasty morsel, they could easily unhinge their jaws and ingest a food item the size of a 1968 SuperBeetle. :smiley:

This is a really persnickety thing to say, but this is the SDMB so tough patooties: I have NEVER allowed my kids to eat any loose foods in the supermarket as a “snack” as we move through the market. I was raised to believe that it was stealing, and I’ve passed that sense of property along to my kids. They might WANT to nick the odd grape, but if they actually saw that tasty 1968 SuperBeetle in the market, the best they could do is yell out, "Punch-Buggy, No Backs !!! ".



Personally, I refuse to buy ANYTHING from a bulk barrel that’s child-height. But that’s because I’ve seen kids (more than one family’s worth, it appeared) spitting into them.

By the time I was able to get a clerk’s attention, the little buggers had left the store. sigh. Foiled again.

I just want to say, I have nothing but the highest regard for Duck[sup]2[/sup] Goose. She’s a pip and a pistol in my book.

That was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek snottiness. The whole tongue-in-cheek part didn’t translate well to the written medium.

The ones in the tube top, leather mini skirt, with spiked heels, ratted hair and too much make-up are NOT the russets. That’s why they have a sticker that says, “I da Ho”.
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

*Originally posted by Kinsey *

Don’t be a smart ass. “Idaho” the state and presumably the vegetable are named after an Indian word meaning “I am the woman the chief is seeing now.”

RE: the OP “Warning, TMI” Huh? kid drool? don’t you guys know that anything that comes out of a little one is pure and holy?

One of our local TV stations (montgomery county, Ohio, USA) did a study on the sanitary conditions of “Free: take one” bowls and salad bars across the county and found the butthollus auriella (sorry I don’t know the latin term but basically, it was fecal bacteria) and some other Yeast related bacteria (essentially some of the flora and fauna that live in the female reproductive system.) It was really gross. By the way. About 10 years ago they also did a study of public swimming pool water around the town (Dayton, OH) There was a disconcertingly large number of sites with the same butt bacteria. Thay said it waqs mainly from leaky diapers. Maybe those little shits aren’t as pure as I thought they were!

PS: If you have a favorite fast food restaraunt (or any other regular eating place for that matter) be on the lookout for food handlers with EXTRA-long fingernails. Some of them don’t WIPE so good. This was also featured in the local news media.

PS: I’m not a butt freak, I just hate slobs and people that sneeze without covering their mouth.

I once watched horrified as an employee at a mushroom farm blithely flossed her teeth over a tray of freshly harvested enoki mushrooms. I’m not a “casual scrubber” anymore. No sir.

And people laugh at me when I scrub my raw veggies with soap and water.


Not necessarily. Wouldn’t having your ass submerged cause the water to wash away traces of the bacteria?

Besides, it shouldn’t be anything to wotty about unless ass germs are immune to chlorine.