“The Velvet Vulva Hat…
pretty much speaks for itself. You can have your head in a pussy all day and no one will be the wiser!
The colors are all up to you, as is the fur selection”
(Huh huh, “fur selection”)
Sounds like something to keep your vulva puppet in-remember those?
BTW, what WAS that midi? Ugh!
Wiccan/New Age Stuff and Dildos… What’s the connection?
They both smell kinda fishy.
I want my Velvet Vulva Hat to be shaved.
Wow, thanks tracer! Now I know what to get my wife for Christmas! I can’t believe in all the years of getting her bad gifts, I never managed to find this one.
Now these are the kind of responses I was looking for. Yet again the Dopers don’t let me down! 
This is something that crossed my mind, but like RickJay, I don’t think a neon plastic monster phallus is what the goddess was thinking of.
But that would explain The Powers That Be…
Wow. It just keeps getting funnier the more I read of it.
Yes, indeed, that’s exactly what I want hanging fro the rearview on my truck: a velvet vulva of superhuman dimension.
This is too easy. I’m not swinging at a slow pitch like that.
Guinastasia, the midi was “Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harum.