My wife has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She is seeing her doctor this week and will get her medicine in an IV drip twice over the next 4 weeks, thereby hopefully taking her out of her pain.
But for right now, things are incredibly stressful. She’s crabby because she’s in pain, I’m getting the brunt of that crabbiness and I’m stressed that I can’t do anything to help her. Lots of frustrations all the way around. I’m doing as much as I can to make her life easier, but she is on the 4th week of a new job and she has to go to work everyday.
I’ve never seen her struggle this much, she has every reason to be crabby but I’m worried about the next few weeks, and if her meds don’t work, then who knows what will be next.
I’m looking for pain relievers for her and stress relievers for the both of us. She’s not getting around very well right now, she only has energy to go to work everyday and that’s about it. She will probably get cortisone shots as a stop gap in some of her worst joints on Thursday, but they can’t shoot up every painful joint, she would be there all day.
I used to wear those heat patches and they helped a bit. The cold weather here is a really aggravating factor.
My husband was a big help, but I was glad he left me a little room for me to fight it myself. I hope you both are better soon!
Look into diet changes to help manage systemic inflammation. It is very tempting to eat comfort foods when in pain but sometimes that can make things worse
These are highly personal, and my advice is to collect up a bunch of suggestions and just give her the list. Ask her to identify what she thinks would/wouldn’t be helpful.
Things that helped me when I was in chronic pain:
Hugs. If I was really hurting having someone wrap a throw blanket around my shoulders and hug me gently was enormously comforting. Make sure that you are leaning in to her, not making her lean in an awkward position.
Intellectual stimulation. I suppose this category should also include escapist fiction. Anything that kept my mind busy or distracted was a Godsend. For me that meant friends sending interesting Ted Talks and subscriptions to scientific journals. For your wife it could be anything from historical fiction to Twilight novels. What engages her? Support whatever seems to take her mind off of it.
Gentle warmth. Get a group of hand towels that are easy to dampen and microwave. Warm up three or four and wrap around the most painful points.
Audio books. Holding a book up can be torture. I was really surprised by the variety available through my local library system.
Reminders. It was really helpful when a friend would say “Talk nicely to me.” I didn’t always realize how negative my tone or conversation content had become. It really helped when folks gently pointed this out.
Cooling bags. Make a few gel bags in advance tha she can easily grab from the freezer to cool down a swollen/inflamed area.
Remind her that you much prefer helping to helplessness. There comes a point when one is loathe to ask for anything else. Let her know that the best way to help you through this is to ask for what she needs. You will feel far less stressed if you can trust her to communicate rather than sitting around constantly trying to guess what might be helpful.
Crocs. Super-soft comfortable shoes made a difference throughout my body by cushioning the shock of every step.
A heavy quilt. There is something about a heavy warm blanket that really helped me sink into sleep.
A memory foam mattress or mattress topper. The more her body can sink into the foam, the more her weight will be distributed and avoid adding stress to inflamed areas.
My last piece of advice: The right answers will change from day-to-day. Don’t get frustrated when what worked yesterday is exacerbating today. She’s not doing it on purpose.
About three years ago, I had some sort of bout of joint pain in my ankles and wrists. While a simple round of prednisone took care of it, there were a few days where it hurt to walk, and I had to hold my hands against my chest because they ached so much.
One of the things that helped was going to a nail salon that had paraffin wax dips. You dip your hands and feet in a tub of melted paraffin wax several times, and then they’re wrapped in plastic and warm towels. It takes close to an hour for the heat to dissapate, and the paraffin wax leaves your skin very soft and moisturized. It was heaven. I’ve known several people who just go out and buy their own wax bath. It’s a bit pricey, but it means you can do it at home any time you like.
There are actually a lot of studies showing that pressure like that can be very soothing. In particular, kids with autism often really settle down when there is all-over pressure such as with a heavy weighted blanket, a weighted vest, or things like that. Google “Temple Grandin squeeze machine” for some interesting stuff.
I’ve also always slept better if I have somewhat heavy blankets; wasn’t until the past few years that I could sleep with just a sheet.
With painful joints from RA, this (heavy blankets) may or may not feel good, but it’s definitely worth a try and if she doesn’t like it, at least it’s a) easily remedied, and b) didn’t cost anything.
I like the suggestion of a foam mattress topper or whatever. Pillows to help her keep propped in a comfortable position (behind knees, or whatever) may be useful.
For something inflammatory, warmth may feel lovely but cold is better (learned that the hard when when I enjoyed a visit to a hotel hot tub… and hurt for 3 weeks afterward). :smack: But, whatever makes the wife feel better!!
Might a short course of oral steroids be beneficial or would that be contraindicated with the injections coming up?
RA can be tough for some people. I have heard that MSG is an aggravating factor, and that most of our foods have MSG in them that is disguised under other names on the ingredient labels. An anti-inflammatory diet should help ease the symptoms quite a bit. Good luck.
