I have reported your impiety to Thanatos, who shall shortly kill your love for bacon. You’re welcome.
No, you’re thinking of Cyril Connolly.
Oh, and more on-topic: I was walking out to drive to work yesterday when I saw a bee in the back window of my car, sitting on the little fabric shelf behind the back seat that covers the front of the trunk and houses the rear speakers and middle brake light and whatnot.
Naturally it startled me to see a bee inside the car, so I stopped and looked at it, while trying to formulate a plan to kill it.
It was just sitting there, looking at me, right up next to the edge of the fabric and the bottom of the rear windshield.
Gradually I came to realize that it wasn’t moving at all, and that, therefore, it was probably dead. But I couldn’t be sure, so I carefully opened the car, found my back-scratcher stick, and slowly poked him with the little fingers on the end of the stick, while keeping most of my body outside the car just in case.
Sure enough, he came to life and attacked me with all the fury of a thousand suns, stinging me fiercely over fourteen hundred ti-- wait, no, what actually happened was that as soon as the wooden finger touched him, he crumbled into crunchy bee bits. Apparently he had become extremely dehydrated or dessicated or whatever you’d call a dried-out bee husk.
Of course, I live in southern Nevada, and in summer temperatures like we’re currently having, I think the interior of my left-outside-in-a-parking-lot-all-day car heats up to approximately the temperature of that molten iron jacuzzi that Terminator 2 used to nobly slay himself at the end of his movie. And I have no idea how long that bee was in my car, but it couldn’t have been more than a few days because I just cleaned out the back seat last Wednesday evening.
Still, it’s good evidence that the heat inside a closed car is lethal to bees…
I read this entire thread so far and this just popped out at me, what the hell were you doing with 4 wasps in your car?? :eek: Did they try to carjack you or something?
I pictured it as a rather genteel version of that scene in Pulp Fiction. In this version, Harvey Keitel is a beekeeper.
Yep.
I was in a bad neighborhood, and they all flew in at the same time. Buzzed something about stealing the car, I couldn’t really understand them though. I just stomped on the accelerator, and they all got thrown into the back window, (they weren’t wearing seatbelts you see…)
By the time I got to work, they were still unconscious, so I rolled up the windows and let them bake in the Montana sun for about 9 hours. Talk about crispy critters.
Haven’t been carjacked by wasps since.
Not many living things are going to survive 8 hours locked in a hot car, so given the similarities in their respective makeups, I took a chance relating my own version of events.
Glad you’re paying attention though.
Bring the car to a safe halt and engage the parking brake first - otherwise the bee might escape through a broken window when the car smashes into a bus stop full of children.
Hey it was either those children or me!
It took 25 years for them to die! :eek:
If my weekend breakfasts suddenly start diminishing in quality, you’ll have to answer to my girlfriend. Just keep that in mind.
Wha about Schrödinger’s bee?
Don’t be fooled. Take that pile of crunchy bee bits and crumble them into a fine powder. Burn the powder. Take the ashes and add them to a batch of concrete. Pour the concrete into a small slab. Take that slab out over the deepest part of the ocean and toss it overboard. Wait 21 minutes. Nuke it from orbit just to be sure.
It’s true: never trust a bee.
Are you sure?
Your second cousin was a bee?
Anybody else thinking of the Gary Larsen cartoon with the human-size bee sitting in the back seat of the car??
“above 38 °C bee activity slows due to heat. Honey bees can tolerate temperatures up to 50 °C for short periods.”-from Wikipedia article about honey bees.
If it’s a Bay bee, don’t leave it in the car.
She can take it up with Thanatos, though I wouldn’t advise it unless her name is Xena. And that seems unlikely for, like, 5 reasons.
:: rummages through joke arsenal, finds the Briston counter-attack ::
Please do not force me to mention you-know-what.
“Say, was you ever bit by a dead bee?” - Eddie 1944