I suppose I was, and in a way, still am a picky eater. But never was the type to waste food, I would only eat what I liked. I would always get shit for not eating salads and certain things, but I never wasted what I did put on my plate. I new what I liked at the time. Although to this day, things like mushrooms, cooked onions, and raw tomatoes are still nasty. The same goes for Hot Wings (I’ve got a rant on that somewhere here…). I can eat diced tomatoes, but I can’t eat that stuff in the middle. It’s like the thing hasn’t finished growing on the inside yet. With mushrooms, it’s the texture, and will always cause me to gag, although mushroom sauce is okay. I love to eat raw onions, but when cooked… again the texture makes me gag. Raw onions on my gyro please… I would be a poor Fear Factor contestant. And pickles on a burger I’ve never liked, probably because of the fast food places. I like sweet pickles, but what ever pickle they use in fast food joints simply tastes extremely bitter and is disgusting on a burger. Can’t have that either.
I took to some Indian food a few years ago when a co-worker wanted me to try it out. Not wanting to be rude, I did. Some good stuff! Something I discovered this year is broccoli, man that stuff is just delicious, I’ve been missing out! At 26 years old at that… I actually like a lot of veggies now that I never really liked as a kid. So there’s hope.
I was an extremely picky eater as a child, and in many ways I still am.
“No thank you, I don’t like chicken.”
“You don’t like barbeque chicken?”
“I don’t like any chicken. I don’t eat it, and I never have.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you were a vegetarian.”
“I’m not. I eat meat, I just don’t like chicken. Or really, any bird other than turkey.”
“You need to try <insert person’s name>'s <insert dish’s name> chicken.”
“Seriously, I’ve been forced to eat a lot of chicken over the years, and I’ve never liked any of it.”
“I’ve never heard of anyone not liking chicken before.”
“Yes, I know, it’s terribly un-American of me. I promise I’m not a terrorist.”
But I digress.
I’ve definitely become more open over the years to trying new foods, but I’m pretty sure at this point that I’ll never enjoy eating a lot of stuff that most people like (cooked peppers, squash, rice (except as a minor background to an ethnic dish of some sort), mushrooms, etc.). Where my tastes have expanded are with food items that are extremely strong or spicy. I love onions now, for instance, and will use massive amounts of garlic in any dish I can. I’m not a biologist, but I believe I’ve heard that a child’s sense of taste is more sensitive than an adult’s.
I too have a 13 year old nephew who is a picky eater. His dad is my little brother, who as a child was himself a picky eater.
My nephew has been indulged far more than my brother was, and it has been interesting to compare/contrast the results. Meal-time for my brother, with our parents’ Clean Plate Regime, could be humiliating and agonizing, he did not want that for his own child.
Just as his dad did, my nephew basically lives on carbohydrates: bread, rice, pasta.
When they come over for dinner, it is understood that unless I am serving pizza, pasta or hot dogs, all he will eat is bread products. He is a bit chubby; early onset of puberty has been mentioned.
My brother did grow out of his pickiness. I think my nephew will, too, but it probably won’t happen until he leaves home.
I’m unclear on whether the OP’s nephew will eat half an order of Something Varied and then ask for mac and cheese, or if mac and cheese is only his seconds when it was also his firsts.
If it’s the latter, I’d give him points for trying. The Food Nazis are always saying, “Try it! Try it! TRY IT!!” and I would think that eating half of Something Varied is trying it. It’s also frequently taken as a given that if a Picky Eater takes one bite of Something Varied, they will immediately fall in love with it. Except, not. Perhaps he really didn’t like it, not after the first bite, or the second or the third, but he forged on until he’d raised his blood sugar to an acceptable level, and until he’d eaten enough so that he figured people wouldn’t give him a hard time for “not trying.”
I said a while back that many people’s tastes just run a certain way. Some people would rather eat dirt than eat at McDonald’s. Some people would rather eat dirt than eat broccoli. But the anti-McD’s people get praised, while the anti-broccoli people are condemned. (Well, sometimes they get elected POTUS.) I think it’s often something that just can’t be helped, like handedness or eye strength.
Actually, I sometimes get a hard time about not wearing contacts, even though my eyes aren’t shaped right for it, which is also something I can’t help. And I’m not confident about LASIK either. I hate to sound glurgey, but perhaps we should just be grateful that we live in countries where we have a choice about what we put in and on our bodies, and lay off of other people for their choices.
You are truly the evil Aunt from hell. I knew there was a reason I like you so much!
John DiFool don’t sweat it. Your nephew’s tastes in food is likely to change as he gets older. I know mine did. Heck, I’ll even eat cauliflower now and that’s something that’s happened over the past couple years and I’m an old fart of 52. Mind you, it has to have lots of cheese sauce or be baked ( baked with basil and garlic and fennel seed… YUM!) but I’ll eat it. Brussels Sprouts, however, well, nobody in their right minds would ever want to eat a fart blossom!
I am 24 and a very picky eater. Some people are just like that I guess. I have serious issues with certian textures and flavors of food, and just the smell of anything that is classified as seafood makes me gag and flee the room. It changes little by little, a new food here or a new sauce there, but for the majority of things I am very particular about what I will put into my body. I find most vegetables very bitter and can only eat canned versions of many of them but I am branching out. I do like spinach and carrots, but most everything else must be canned or cooked a specific way if I am going to touch it.
I was a fussy eater as a child, and still am. I just don’t like the taste/texture/smell of a lot of food.
I must admit, I don’t often try new foods. My mum blames my child minder, who made me eat stew every time I was there, despite the fact I don’t like it.
Peer pressure might work. Hunger might work–or it might cause him to eat his preferred foods beforehand, when he’s going to a place where he knows that the food is not to his taste. Parental or familial pressure will NOT work. I know. I’ve been there.
If he is an asshole about selecting restaurants and wanting specially-prepared items (as opposed to asking nicely), then that is a problem, but otherwise, I don’t see a problem. If he is malnourished, that is an issue for the doctors: he may listen to doctors more than to family in this matter.
I’ve always been a rather finicky eater, and still am, in some ways–if I’m eating at home, I’d rather eat a peanut butter sandwich than anything else, I eat pasta with butter, make meat and potato dishes with no gravy, and generally keep things in their blandest state. When I was younger, I wouldn’t even try anything outside my comfort zone. My Mom used to always tell me “You say you’ll never try anything new, but one day, some girl’s going to convince you. Just wait.”
Sure enough, she was right. When I was away at college and in my first relationship, my girlfriend was much more adventurous than me, and always wanted to go out for Thai, Ethiopian, Korean, Middle Eastern, and Indian foods. Not wanting to look unsophisticated in her eyes, I obliged. Trust me, there’s no better incentive for a young man to vary his habits than trying to impress a woman.
As stated earlier, I left my picky ways behind. But I still hated brussels sprouts.
Until just last week.
Mrs. Mercotan got a bunch grown locally, I turned my nose up at them as usual, but since they were fresh, sauteed in olive oil, garlic and lemon, and didn’t smell too awful, I did what I usually do now: Try them again and see if my tastes had changed.
YUM! I scarfed down a bunch!!
We’ll have to try them with olive oil and balsamic vinegar next.
I just wish I could like fresh tomatos. I like them in nearly every other form, but not fresh.
Most of what I planned to say I think has been said here.
A couple of anecdotes:
I am a picky eater. My pickiness came from being forced to eat things I didn’t want to eat. I am approaching 40 years old and only now can entertain the idea of something like jalapeno’s on a hamburger, or anything related to veggies. If your nephew is being forced into eating varied or “good for him” foods, this might just be a way for him to rebel. Try not to criticize him well into his 20s and 30s if you don’t want him to end up like me.
My best friend’s little brother simply refused to eat anything other than McDonald’s hamburgers EVERY DAY FOR DINNER. Cheeseburgers? no way. Quarterpounders? no way. I didn’t understand why his parents put up with that. My parents certainly didn’t tolerate such foolishness. A few years ago, I happened to be at a restaurant with him and he ordered the most outlandish meal on the menu (to me). I don’t remember what it was. I remember him saying something like “Man, I love arugula” or something to that effect. I was amazed that he was a much more adventorous eater than I. I think it was because he was never ever forced to eat anything. Food choices were no more important than choice of socks for him.
My brother and his wife always bought sugary cereals and soda for his kids. My mom was appalled. They always had ho ho’s and other snacks readily available. I only see those kids at Christmas parties, but where are they? They are usually huddled around the vegetable plate, ignoring the cookies and cakes. They eat the veggies because they genuinely like them, and cookies aren’t really a treat when you can have one any time you want.
Just some things I’ve thought were interesting. Obviously, I don’t know your family. Your nephew is probably in a phase. I guess I’m hoping that genuine concern for his well being doesn’t sabotage his learning to eat properly in the future.
There is a middle ground between forcing your child to eat El Bizarro Supremo foods every day and turning every meal into a battleground, and simply taking them out to McD’s for a hamburger every single day. (I am going to assume that you are at least slightly exaggerating here and that the kid did occasionally get a small infusion of something with vitamins in it.)
We don’t force our kids to eat anything, but neither do we give them McDonald’s hamburgers every single day, for crying out loud. If they thought they could get away with demanding such a thing, they probably would, but the rule around here is, you don’t have to eat the dinner I put on the table, but you aren’t getting anything else to eat either.
And I’m with everyone else; I’ve never been an extremely picky eater, but there was a time in my life when I thought that sushi sounded gross and I would no sooner set foot in a Thai restaurant than in a slaughterhouse. These days I eat sushi with gusto and like my food as spicy as possible. I will try just about anything at least once. Sometimes I think people just naturally broaden their horizons as they get older. Not always, but often enough. Your nephew has every chance of growing out of his pickiness.
