My son is a picky eater. His diet consists mainly of chicken and pizza, with the occasional noodles with butter and parmesan cheese. He does love most fruits, but eschews almost all vegetables, with the exception of raw carrots.
The other night we had some kind of meat (he ate), and string beans with thyme, and some leftover (admittedly not so wonderful) potatoes au gratin, the kind you’d make from a mix. We asked him to try a single string bean and a very, very small portion of the potatoes. I figured he might like the potatoes, since he likes cheese, and he likes french fries and potato chips of various types, even flavors like sour cream and onion.
We cut the string bean and the potatoes into very small bites. He bravely endeavoured to eat these, taking a small bite at a time and washing it down with some water. I was impressed that he was able to work his way through the entire string bean. He does want to make us happy, but it was plain that he was not enjoying himself. Then he grimly set about eating the potato. I told him he needed to eat all of what was on his plate, roughly two slices with browned cheese atop it.
Oddly the potato gave him more problems than the string bean. He started to gag slightly with each bite. But he could see the end in sight and put the last forkfull into his small mouth. He chewed and gagged a bit, then got it down with some water.
Then he vomited the whole lot up onto the dining room table.
So, how am I supposed to get this kid to eat a more diverse menu when he literally can’t keep down some of these foods? My supposition is that the texture is much more troubling than the flavor.
FTR, his sister is a pretty good eater with only a handful of food aversions. I was fairly finicky when I was a child but not to the degree which he is. Mrs Shibb ate some stuff in her youth that I find distasteful to even mention.
I am not a parent and picky food kids drive me up the wall. Sure, I didn’t eat my lima beans or black eyed peas but one is named after an injury, is that a good sign, the other is the same color as a praying mantis, which, by the way, is praying to SATAN, so I don’t think it is wrong to not eat those things.
My kids are like that to some extent (without the vomiting part.) What I’ve chosen to do is let them eat fruit, mostly. I try to get berries and things that are particularly nutritious. They also prefer raw vegetables to cooked, so I provide those for some meals and snacks–things like carrots and cherry tomatoes and snap peas. They will eat salads occasionally. My kids also like some soups, so I can get them to eat vegetables that way, too.
I have the same problem. My 7 yo son eats only a few things and my 4 yo eats virtually nothing and is incredibly stubborn about it. I’m seriously thinking about getting one of those thingies that you force food down people on hunger strikes.
He actually somehow finds and picks out the little green flakes of oregano or whatever it is from beneath the cheese. He can find these without looking, just by feel in his mouth. He would eye with great suspicion anything that was not cheese or pepperoni upon a pizza. He’s also averse to “too much sauce”.
But he’ll go hungry? Yes, of course he will. But he won’t be *pukey *and hungry.
This has turned into a battle of wills, and you’re not going to win. Ever. The only control over his life he had as a baby was to not eat or not poop. Even when he appears to be “trying to please you”, he’s making a drama queen of himself - first getting a cheering section for eating a string bean, then becoming a martyr for throwing it all up again.
Offer a variety of healthy food options, let him choose what to eat and what not to eat. After 20 minutes or whenever you’re done, clear the table. Serve three meals a day and two snacks, and he’ll find something to eat when he’s hungry enough.
Don’t make it a drama, don’t make it a battle, don’t make it your problem. Don’t scold him for not eating or praise him for eating. In fact, tell him today that his eating is no longer your problem. Tell him you love him very much, and that his eating will not make you not love him. You love him whether he eats or not.
If he goes for longer than a three days truly without eating, get him to a doctor. He may have hyper or hypoclorhydria (sp?) or some other digestive system issue which is really preventing him from keeping food down. But since he can keep down foods he chooses, I seriously doubt it.
Was he by any chance a preemie? Preemies are more prone to oral aversion and food control issues, especially texture ones. It’s like their bodies somehow remember being intubated and decide they will never let anyone force anything into their mouth and down their throat again. The "treatment’ is the same, but with an extra dose of sympathy and understanding.
I always speak up on behalf of the picky eaters in threads like this, because I was and am one of them. I’m hyper-sensitive to the taste and texture of food, enjoy things that other people consider unbearably bland, and can’t eat things that other people consider quite mild. I’ve read that this means that I have more taste buds and nerve endings in my mouth than most people, although I’ve never verified this with a doctor.
I eat a balanced diet with a variety of foods, but they’re all bland–fruit, plain baked potatoes, bread, meat, tomato sauce or no sauce at all. To me these foods are rich and flavorful. Foods that other people find flavorful are too much for me–they gag me or make my eyes water and my throat sting for hours afterward.
Now I know that sometimes kids are just stubborn and food can be a power struggle. But it’s also possible that they really can’t handle spicy foods. You might want to give the “balanced bland” approach a try.
I have little sympathy for picky eaters. Unfortunately, my three year old daughter is one. We have been staying in a hotel for the last three months while our house is rebuilt. The hotel makes buffets every night that we eat from. Almost every night, I get my daughter a nice plate and she stares at it until her mother gets home. Then, we make her a new plate of hot dogs or something else she demands.
I do not agree with this. I would prefer to let her get very seriously hungry and eat the perfectly good food that she had to begin with. That is what I do when my wife is away on business trips. That is one stubborn child but she got it from the master (me) and I would win at that game given half the chance. The odd thing is that she eats just fine at her preschool and always has. That indicates a 'tude problem at home. Come to think of it, I am going to start playing hardball tonight. This is ridiculuous.
I got a stepbrother when I was 16 who was a notorious picky eater. He decided to move in with his father and us and my mother was warned about the difficult pattern he had developed. The first night my mother made Mexican food and my stepbrother said to my mother: “I just can’t eat that. What is there for me to eat?” My mother replied, “This is what everyone else is eating tonight. We only allow one meal to be cooked and everyone gets the same thing. Its not a problem if you don’t like it though. We are having something else tomorrow.” I have never seen a so-called chronic problem cured in less than one niumute. Andy never had any problems eating after that.
I was a picky eater as a kid (those days are loooong over now, though). My mom brought me to the doctor, hoping he’d lecture me. What he told her is what I’m going to tell you-- let him eat whatever he can of the meal that you serve. No snacks between meals, no dessert afterward. He’ll get hungry, yes, which ought to make him less picky but might not.
I ate very little as a kid and was really small, but I was so relieved that the doctor told my mother to get off my ass. I ate what I could and if I finished my meal, I could have dessert, but if I didn’t, then I got none. That was all right by me. It was better than having to eat stuff I couldn’t get down or totally didn’t want.
I forgot to add one very important bit to the Love and Logic lesson:
When he comes up to you and whines that he’s hungry because he didn’t eat, do not take that (very tempting) opportunity to lecture/scold/berate or otherwise tell him you told him so. Do not say. “See! I told you you’d be hungry? Why didn’t you eat your dinner? Your sister ate, and she’s not hungry!”
Instead, be very sympathetic and very sad. Tell him, “Oh, I’m sorry you’re hungry. I get hungry too when I don’t eat my dinner. But we’ll have a big breakfast in the morning!”
This way, you’re on his side. He can’t make you into the bad guy. He learns that he is the one in control of his eating and the consequences of not eating.
I agree with the “leave him alone” crowd. He’ll eat what he needs. Just don’t let him eat strictly junk food.
My son ate everything in sight and still does. But I knew people whose kids were very picky. It’s a nutrition freak-out for the parents, but from what I understand, your fears are unwarranted. If you feel you must, supplement with Ensure or some other nutrition drink.
I only know one adult who is still a picky eater (and he weighs 350 lbs.). They grow out of it simply through maturing (or wanting to be like the rest of the kids).
I mostly agree with Why Not - the disagreement is in the battle of the wills.
I think it is a feel and texture issue; either he’ll grow out of it or not. I think it is great that he’s trying. A few months may settle it or not.
I had digestive problems as a child, got over it, and have had odd digestive problems throughout my life (temporary allergic reactions or allergic-like reactions) and some of my ‘bad reactions’ to food have been simply vomiting - because of the taste or texture. Notoriously, eggs and a number of cheese sauces.
The egg thing started very young, and I’ve been giving it hesitant, if willing try since a recent gall bladder removal. The cheese thing might be mental/gallbladder related, so I’ll slowly start intoducing those back into my diet soon. We’ll see.
Ditto. I was a picky eater–green beans and peas were my particular nemesis, and I still can’t stand either to this day. The battle of wills ended up with me choking down a few green beans here and there (and occasionally vomiting them back up) but not gaining any affinity for that benighted vegetable. The taste and texture are as abominable as ever. (As a kid, I also had great difficulty with a number of textures–pan-fried sliced potatoes and fried eggs being the most notable offenders.)
Curiously, when I started cooking for myself, I discovered an entire range of palattable veggies, including Brussels sprouts, asparagus, zucchini, aubergine, mushrooms, spinach, kale, et cetera, all being delectable when properly prepared. I still can’t stand haricots verts, though.
My oldest daughter is a picky eater. I eventually had to just decide to choose my battles. From the sounds of it, your son isn’t being willful about not eating - he did try his best to eat everything on his plate, so it seems to me he honestly just doesn’t like it. There’s a line, of course; if he insists on eating only pizza when presented with other food he normally likes, then things are probably out of hand, but nobody forces us to eat foods we don’t like as adults (or at least they shouldn’t), and if my kid at least tries something and then decides they don’t like it, I don’t see a reason to force the issue.
Also, I think it’s a little unfair to say to him “Try one string bean and a tiny bit of potatoes” and when he does so, to then decide he needs to eat the rest of the potatoes.
I don’t believe in short order cooking for kids though. If I knew I was going to be serving, say, a vegetable I knew Emma wouldn’t like for dinner, I’d make sure she ate an apple somewhere in the day to try to balance it out a little.
Good luck though; I definitely know how having a picky eater can try the patience.
Both my kids are picky eaters. My son hates Veggies and Starches but he is a fruit fiend at least. He likes Meats and Pastas.
My Daughter likes raw Veggies and very plain meats and loves cheese.
She eats Chunks of cheese sliced to saltine size, saltines, a piece of fruit and a Granola bar every day for lunch.
PB&J get too soggy for her. She doesn’t like lunch meat, etc.
They both drive me crazy. My son is 5 and my daughter is 8.
On rereading, I guess I probably misunderstood that bit - I first read as saying he only had to eat a tiny portion of what was on his plate, not that the portion itself was tiny.
