Will someone please put the NBA Atlantic Division out of its misery?

Cafe Society
1

The Toronto Raptors, somewhat less affectionately known to locals as the Craptors, haven’t seen a playoff game in nearly five years. This year they’ve struggled again. The offense has been inconsistent, the defense shaky. They don’t shoot especially well, and have been extremely weak at rebounding. Questions abound as to the competence of head coach Sam Mitchell. So far this year they’ve stumbled to a 15-19 record.

And they’re in FIRST PLACE!

Yes, ladies and germs, welcome to the NBA’s Atlantic Division, where bed teams go to die and one of them will, amazingly, get home court advantage in the first round. Here are your standings:

Toronto 15-19
New Jersey 14-19
New York 15-21
Boston 12-21
Philadelphia 9-24

I don’t know what’s more amazing; that a team as mediocre as the Craptors can be a first place team, or that the 76ers, a dismal squad of losers, is only five and a half games out of first.

I wonder; has any division in a North Americans sports league ever gone an entire season with everyone finishing under .500? The NHL’s Norris Division was putrid for many years but I don’t think even they ever managed this.

Good Lord, what a travesty. The Milwaukee Bucks, who are in last place in their division, would actually be first in the Atlantic.

2

The NL West came close in 2005, but the Padres pulled it together to go 82-80.

I have to ask, though: people watch the NBA?

3

Not me, since they stopped calling traveling and other various fouls all in the name of celebrity.
You kids get off my lawn!

4

In 1994, all the teams in the American League West were well below .500 before the strike hit in August and ended the chance that a team with a losing record would make the play-offs.

5

I’ll put the Atlantic out of its misery if you put Doc Rivers out of his. Sooner rather than later, please. Deal?