The last time I saw my father, I was 1-2 years old. I didn’t hear from him again until 40 years later. He was at a nursing home over 300 miles away. He was too sick to travel; I had no car. In any event, I don’t know what could have been gained by seeing him. He had already admitted on the phone that he’d “missed out” on a lot, having been out-of-contact for so long.
When he passed away, I found out over a year later, on ancestry.com.
Maybe a year earlier, I had been in contact with my father’s then-family. That was, until I found out that my new half-brother was pretty despicable. (I found out by doing a background check on the internet; he’d been acting suspiciously.) The half-brother’s mother had been pushing me to talk more with him - Finding out the truth made me cut off contact entirely.
After finding out my father died, I was angry that no one had told me. My name and address are hardly unlisted. The half-brother’s mother didn’t even mention me or my mother (his first wife!) in the death announcement.
I think an earlier poster mentioned not being interested in the money, but the medical history. That is right on for me as well. I e-mailed the nursing home and the hospice my father eventually ended up at, asking them if they had any medical information they could share. They said they were sorry, but I would need permission from my father’s then-current girlfriend.
I’d severed contact with her, and her son, months earlier. We were not at all on good terms, and dealing with her again made me feel… eugh. I don’t know. I gave up.
So I’ll never know just what my father died from. If he ended up in hospice, he no doubt had multiple health issues, some very grave.
I wish he had stayed in better contact over the years. All that time, and he just lived in the next state over. I know that I was “just” his first kid, but I mattered.
It could have been handled better.