Otto: That is your opinion. Mine is different.
What if i wished cancer on someone, is that out also? Or Zombie cancer? What if i wished for them to be clinically brain dead for 10 minutes, then revived via CPR?
Wasn’t that the premise of a recent movie? (“Recent” to me is anything made after I graduated from high school, circa 19(mumbly-mumble).)
Monty, you are often extremely abrasive without cause. When you challenge people on facts or opinions, you generally take a very aggressive tone. This predisposes people to dislike you.
You DO have a lot to offer the message board, but I would like to see a nicer “voice” from you. You do apologize for hurt feelings when someone points it out to you…but it would be far better to rein in your temper BEFOREHAND, and not need to apologize. While you may be able to forgive and forget, I, for one, have a hard time getting over a hurt that someone I respect has given me, and I know that many people are like me.
As to other questions, “drop dead” may be all right, "go kill yourself is NOT all right, and I don’t know about “I wish you were dead”.
Lynn
For the Straight Dope
Wait a minute, this is about Monty?
How odd. I seem to remember that in one of my very rare Pit threads (please don’t bump it, it’s quite old), Monty told me to “Drop dead, you moronic fool” without the slightest provocation. I believe he also repeatedly refused to apologize, and insisted that “drop dead” doesn’t actually mean you wish someone dead and anyone who thought it did was also a moron. And he’s been whining to the Mods/Admins about being told “drop dead, moron” by someone else?
I am physically incapable of rolling my eyes as far back as I would like to right now. I am glad we have such sensible Mods/Admins, though.
Monty took issue with someone telling him in graphic terms to commit suicide- something like “take a razor blade to your forearms from elbow to wrist.” I can’t seem to find it at this moment, but it was a bit more than “drop dead.”
Still, I don’t see the problem with it. It was part of a much longer flame and I don’t see how it could be taken as an actual directive to open his veins. In context, I didn’t see it as any worse than the “take a long walk off a short pier” or “go play on the freeway.”
So it’s back to this then, ay?
There is a big problem with the issue of “death-dealing” here because we lack to ability to face each other and take into consideration a person’s actual demeanor when they say thing like that.
Sarcasm and vehemence are nearly impossible to tell apart in written word. That’s why I always try to remain light-hearted when I post. It keeps me from saying anything too nasty.
I think the issue really devolves to etiquette. That seems to be something a few posters have a difficulty with.
It’s too easy to say something insensitive when you know you’ll never actually see the person you’re insulting.
That’s the problem. And that’s why we have the wonderful Mods and admins, as Lamia said.
It’s a shame their duties often boil down to protocol, but this is a community that values knowledge any way you cut it. No one’s personal bias or inability to deal with others with respect should be allowed to disrupt the flow here.
Lynn:
I respect you; however, I do disagree with your appraisal of me. You are not the only one who has a hard time “getting over a hurt that someone I respect has given me.” Is it so hard to understand that I’m hurt when someone lies to me or about me? Believe it or not, I generally respect people until they commence telling lies to me, about me, or about what I said. To my knowledge, the esteemed Lynn Bodoni has never done that, and no doubt never will. I consider Lynn to be one of the most ethical people I’ve ever encountered, a person of great integrity. Lamia, OTOH, did tell lies about what I said in the thread to which she linked. She pretended I said something that I did not. Then she got bent out of shape when I took issue with that.
Lamia: Stuff like you said is not “without provocation.” In that thread you pretended I said sometehing that I did not and, as I just said, you got bent out of shape when I took issue with that. Had I said you said something you did not, what’s your reaction? Do you like being lied to? I doubt it. Do you like being lied about? I doubt it. But, then, I might be wrong, and you just might find integrity, no matter whose, to be just a big joke. I don’t.
The Peyote Coyote’s comments were far beyond “drop dead” as a euphemism. Additionaly, he made very clear that he was not using a euphemism. Nor were they not out of the blue. They were most assuredly uncalled for. In the thread to which Lamia linked, I did make it very clear that I was using a euphemism.
Gorgon: Do you understand that I consider it insulting to me to be told I said something I didn’t say?
As for Otto: I quit respecting his opinion a long time ago, and back then I made it clear that I had quit respecting his opinion and why I had quit respecting his opinion. That certainly can’t come as a shock to him now–especially now that more than a couple of other folks have let him know they no longer respect his opinion.
I, also, am glad we have the wonderful Mods/Admins here, who not only do this incredibly demanding work for free, but most of whom I count among my friends and have even met a few of them IRL. Actually, saying they’re doing it for free is a misnomer: It certainly costs them time, energy, and effort they could be putting towards other stuff, but they’ve decided to benefit the amazingly great SDMB community instead.
So, does anyone need further clarification?
Hmmm…maybe I need further clarification.
It’s come to my mind that discussions such as this really do contribute to both the community’s understanding of what’s going on/what’s permissable and to my understanding of it too. And as such, it’s a pretty good thing–IMHO–that discussions such as this are pegged in the Pit. Plenty of people have felt the mods either went too far with implementing a particular rule or didn’t go far enough with implementing another particular rule. If this kind of discussion were to be in one of the other fora, folks couldn’t say what they really felt about the issues. Heck, some folks here, even long time posters, have expressed their preference that there be no rules. Would that be workable? My take on that is: obviously not.
So, it boils down to: what rules do we get here? Why do those rules get created? How do they get enforced?
Honestly, I feel for the folks who have to make those decisions becaue there’s no way to answer any of those questions without causing hurt, anger, disgruntled (as opposed to gruntled) members, and probably a few other unhappy results. However, on the whole, Time has proven that The SDMB Powers That Be consistently end up doing the right thing.
Gosh Monty, I could say that you’re telling lies by calling me a liar, but I understand that sometimes people honestly misinterpret things and they aren’t lying when they say things they believe are true. I also understand that if I write something that someone else honestly misinterprets it may well be my fault for not writing more clearly, and that the other person isn’t necessarily a moron or a liar. But then again, I care more about treating other people decently than I do about making a big show of defending my supposed integrity. I figure whatever amount of integrity I possess should be apparent from my behavior, and calling other people names and telling them to drop dead certainly wouldn’t do me any good in that department.
That’s one person’s opinion, Lamia. I don’t share your opinion now, nor did I share it in that thread to which you linked. I did, in that thread, explain my opinion.
And my integrity isn’t supposed.
Yes, you explained in great detail your opinion that I was a moron. Funnily enough, you did not at the time seem to think I was a liar. That appears to be something you just came up with yesterday as a long after-the-fact explanation for behavior that everyone else active in that thread at the time found unneccesarily harsh and uncalled for – behavior not at all atypical for you.
Frankly, if I carried on like you do every time anyone fails to instantly agree with whatever you say, I’d expect people to wish me dead on a regular basis. If you put half as much effort into behaving decently as you do into flying off the handle at any imagined slight, perhaps you wouldn’t have that problem. But the OP here says much the same, and if you wouldn’t listen to that I’m sure you won’t listen to me. Luckily, I don’t have to listen to you either. I only have so much time to waste, and there are other petty, abusive hypocrites who I find more amusing than you.
I do believe you are incredibly mistaken, Lamia. IMO you did not behave at all decently in that thread to me with your comments before I made the comment I did.
I’m sure one of the petty abusive stupid hypocrites you find amusing is you, even if you don’t realize it. That thread contained your crappy reaction to an imagined slight against you. I don’t give a good damn if you recognize it or not. It’s quite amusing to me though that you just made the comment you did about the OP of this thread. That’s because you obviously still don’t get it.
Finally I don’t have to give a good damn about a thing you have to say, just like you don’t have to give a good damn about what I have to say. I have no more to say to you and have no more attention to pay to you. That will probably brighten your day up immensely.
I like Monty.
Thanks, vanilla. That brightened my day!
I just wanted to come out of my hiatus long enough to say that I like Monty, too.
He can be provocative, but Lynn’s “extremely abrasive without cause” is far more descriptive of some on her own staff than it is of Monty. It was eerily apropos to me that she mentioned being hurt by someone you respect very much — which is precisely the reason I’m taking a break — but I thought it was important to put that pain aside long enough to defend someone who has been as important a contributor as anyone here.
Monty, hang in there. Each time a contributor of your calibre is muted, the board loses a bit more of its soul. I disagree with many of your views, but I greatly admire the integrity with which you espouse them. God go with you.
Libertarian: I wanted to say this in email, but don’t know your email (& it’s not listed in the profile).
Thank you.
Slightly modified quote from an anonymous genius here on the board…
Hi… I’m new to the Message Board… but who’s this Monty? I think I’ll just un-sub now - it seems like he’s ready and waiting to tear everyone apart that doesn’t agree with him. Thanks for letting me say so - maybe I’ll see you all somewhere else.
LIGHTEN UP!
Good bye.
Just to clarify things, the following post, directed at another member of the boards, would not be acceptable?
Along with the follow-up from a third party: