As a kid growing up in an atheist household we always had a tenuous relationship with the messages and symbolism of Christmas. As a grown-up I’ve embraced the day off, and a family-focussed big Christmas lunch, reflecting on doing good, and suffer buying presents, so I’ve pretty much been completely captured by Big Kringle. I still don’t believe we’re celebrating Santa’s birth though.
My friends and acquaintances who are not Christian and culturally from non-Christian places have varied responses, ranging from a big picnic [we’re in Australia - so its hot], family events, to orphans’ Christmas to business as usual. It can be an alienating time for them, despite the theme of welcoming strangers.
What are your friends and people you know doing to deal with a day that technically includes them in the fine-print but largely sidelines them?
I do not know anyone non-Christian who is doing anything special for Christmas (why would they?) Though, it’s a fine distinction sometimes, like if they get days off work, I know at least one person who is taking advantage of that for international travel.
My Japanese husband nevertheless embraces the shopping and dinner aspects of Christmas. Some years we go out to a fancy dinner on Christmas Eve; this year he cooked, as our favorite fancy restaurant has a new owner after Covid and is not as good, and he is reluctant to try new places. He buys presents for me, which I usually don’t want, and I pay for the big vacation trip every year (which also covers his birthday present).
I was living in Japan in Christmas of 1980, as a student living with a Japanese family, and the only observation they had was a “traditional” Christmas Cake, served on the day. There were no business closings for Christmas because New Year’s was the big holiday, for which everyone closed for at least 3 days. I suspect there is much more Christmas hoopla these days in the form of sales and shopping, but little more in the way of family gatherings or big meals or extra kindnesses. As many as possible go back to their home town for New Year’s.
Depends on their culture and background- I know plenty of non-Christians who celebrate secular Christmas and they are everything from grew up in a Christian family, to currently married/living with a Christian (or someone who grew up in a Christian family) to people who have celebrations without a single Christian present because they don’t see any reason not to, just like they celebrate both Jan 1 and the Lunar New Year.
We did the typical Jewish thing: went out to a movie (Poor Things, weird but highly recommended}, then picked up Chinese food and brought it home to eat in front of the TV. We watched A Christmas Story, which is our own peculiar Christmas tradition.
I’m theistic but not Christian (although brought up Christian) and my friends are overwhelmingly atheist, a mixture of secular brought-up-christian and secular brought-up-jewish.
Some of my atheist friends are still post-traumatic about their experiences with Christianity and any reminder triggers them. Can’t take them to choral concerts that feature a batch of Christmas music, etc.
The majority, though, are not like that, but don’t want to discuss religion with anybody. A minority do want to discuss religion, as a bad social institution (for which they’ve got a compellingly good case, of course).
I do not have any regular church going Christian friends, I know several are professed Pagan. Every one of my friends had a tree, presents and Christmas dinner. Okay, some called it a Yule or Solstice tree/dinner but more or less the same.
And to answer your question- its because Christmas in American is about 90% secular.
Right.
I cant imagine hating Christianity with such bigotry and loathing that you’d give up the 90% Secular Holiday due to its Christian overtones. I suppose they hate Thanksgiving also.
Oh, one Reform family did go to their traditional Chinese restaurant dinner, but they had the Hanukkah bush , presente, etc. They had the traditional Hanukkah on the first day, etc,. but another celebration on the 25th.
I have a friend who is staunchly atheist and didn’t grow up in a Christian household. She does Christmas harder than I do! (I’m a lapsed Lutheran with a very Catholic mom and very Mennonite grandparents)
Of course we dont have a creche or anything like that, and we dont care for some of the overly christian carols- of which only a few are ever in rotation. (Okay, as a kid, I liked Little Drummer boy, so sue me) .
Why wouldn’t they? Our Turkish neighbours where we previously lived in Stuttgart, Germany of course had a Christmas tree and presents. The children would have been very disappointed else. Also a family get together on the public holidays of 24th afternoon/25th/26th.
The synagogue I occasionally go to hosted a movie and Chinese take-out evening on the 24th, and on the 25th I went to the family gathering of friends who have sort of adopted me for the holidays.
Atheist mum here, equally atheist daughter and grandkids. We get sucked into the gift thing (I give money in a card stuck onto the Christmas Tree) and we buy Christmassy food…ham, prawns and salad. We don’t say grace, and I don’t even think the grandkids have any clue what Christmas is meant to be celebrating to be honest. It’s just another opportunity to get GIFTS and MONEY.
My atheist parents here in the UK always celebrated Christmas with enthusiasm, and non-theist me and my family still do. There’s no need to worry about the minimal Christ-related trappings here in the UK anyway - no-one takes much notice of them.
The idea of a winter-solstice celebration long predates Christianity. I’ve been inside Maes Howe, a 5000 year old passage grave, where the mid-winter sunset illuminates the corbelled inner chamber. There’s no good evidence that Jesus was born in December, but the Neolithic alignments are indubitable proof of the antiquity of a midwinter celebration.
Before I got engaged I did nothing for Christmas, except visit my family because I had the time off. I was in grad school and I’d go to the office some years since it was quiet. After I got engaged I followed my wife’s family traditions. Back when her mother was alive they went with the kids to church to listen to carols while her father and I moved the presents. No, 40 years later, it is totally secular.
My wife and I are as capital A-Atheist as anyone, and we raised 3 Atheist kids. Most of our extended family is either Catholic or Lutheran (which we were raised in).
We recognize the significance of the solstice, which is, after all, the reason for the season. And I’m not sure what is inherently Christian about Santa, lights, and a decorated tree. And spending time and sharing love with friends and family is never a bad thing.
We have a tree and other decorations in our house, and some lights outside. We give gifts to each other (if inspired) and to our kids (usually just checks)/grandkids. And we usually host a dinner on either Eve or the day. This year the big meal was on xmas, with my daughter’s family and mys wife’s sister and her husband.
We listen to a lot of xmas music in the days before xmas. A lot of the music is just beautiful and fun. We play in a string quartet and every December we (including our Jewish violist) practice xmas and Hanukah music. Twice this season we had friends/family over to sing carols as 2 or 3 of our quartet played.
Jew here. Slept in, did some DIY projects around the house that I don’t normally have time for on a work day.
Even if much of the western world sees Christmas as some sort of secular celebration, to me it’s too rooted in Christianity for me to make anything special of it, outside of the fact that my workplace happens to be closed.
