Without those convicts landing in Australia we wouldn't...

Cafe Society
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A belated Australia Day post. You’ll see how it’s played:
The first penal transport arrived in Australia 122 years ago this week. If it weren’t for those convicts settling the place then:
TRUEBLOOD would have lost some of the best nudity ever on TV (work safe pic)

James Marsden would have been the beakout star of X MEN

Olivia Newton John would have grown up sounding like Julie Andrews

QUIGBY DOWN UNDER would have been the shortest movie ever

Whenever Mel Gibson screamed about the invisible Jews hiding in his salt and pepper shakers it would be in a New Jersey accent.

We’d have never been shown a true example of a knife*

The Bunyip would still stalk the darkest reaches of the Dreamtime*

Kirin Fukkoku would be Australian for beer*

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN would have been about the tragic forbidden love of a man and a mountain full of sheep

What else?
*Courtesy of Facebook friends.

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Outback Steakhouse would have to be renamed “Tundra Steakhouse,” and all the dishes renamed after landmarks in Saskatchewan.

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No men would ever have worked where men chunder.

We would have no appropriate way to salute those about to rock. American thighs would go unappreciated.

Everyone else would still have had more sex than me, but I wouldn’t have Hitler to sing about it.

We’d never have the video from the Apollo missions.

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Andy Gibb might still be alive, singing with his brothers at Manchester United post game parties.

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Jorn Utzon’s Yodelling Shack would be the permanent host venue for Eurovision

New Zealand would have it’s own defense force

The Adventures of Barry McKenzie would be a sequel to Tom Brown’s School Days

ACDC would be Glasgow’s best pub band ever

Robert Menzies would have been British PM after WWII.

The best selling wine in the UK would be Longue Plate Rouge

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Um, the what? I’ve never heard of an Outback Steakhouse.

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Americans wouldn’t have anything to distract them from the fact that they are the convict capital of the world. :dubious::stuck_out_tongue:

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Outback Steakhouse

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I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that you’re off by 100 years.

The first penal transport arrived 22 years ago, not 122. Which makes it all the MORE amazing.

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The 1980s wouldn’t have had its greatest song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcu7OCIqlqE

(Men At Work, Overkill)

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1988?

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We would have never had a TV series about Skippy, the bush kangaroo. Remember him? He was just like Lassie, except he couldn’t do much besides hop, because he was a kangaroo. But boy, could he hop.

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Russian skaters would have to dress up like Hawaiians, and be castigated for wearing silly coconut-half brassiers.

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I erred and said 122 years in the OP instead of 222, but that’s because I was taking off a century for crossing the International Date Line.
Scariest possible outcome of no Australia: His Holiness Mel I, first American Pope.

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Crikey! No shrimp on the barbie!

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Those dingoes never would’ve taken her baby.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels would’ve ended with Michael Caine doing an Irish accent.

Flight of the Conchords would feature the boys bumping into smug, arrogant Singaporeans.

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Nicole Kidman would have stayed in Hawaii and might actually have a tan by now.

We’d never know that sleeping in a burning bed was a bad idea.

Sylvester and his son would have avoided a lot of confusion over the issue of giant mice.

No man enters. No man leaves.

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Well, maybe the Aboriginals would have developed a television industry without the Pommie immigrants.

You mean you can’t get a Bloomin’ Onion in Australia itself?

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The Murdoch dynasty would be Canadian and conservative Canadian at that, but still to the left of all Americans.

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Stairway to Heaven and Bohemian Rhapsody would never have attained the true glory.