Yesterday, as I was just about to exit the Metro Green Line (crosstown) in Lakewood, CA, a young woman standing in the aisle started punching and slapping a man seated next to the aisle, her speech laced with obscenities. He was apparently not hurt, although she even kicked him once. She got the attention of all the passengers in the car; they must have been thinking, “Geez, what’s the matter with that woman?” She got off at the Lakewood station, as I did; the man stayed on, apparently until the next (and last) stop on the line. I was still shaking my head over this as I left the station; someone that age picking baby-fights.
Post here some altercation you witnessed in public, preferably with little (or no) serious injury.
went into a restaurant that had two employees on duty. The cook (male) and the manager/cashier (female). They apparently had been having a whale of a fight immediately before I came in, I didn’t realize it til after I ordered “Would you get off your fat a** and get cooking - I’m the manager” for example.
two weeks later the place was out of business. wonder why.
:rolleyes:
Hey, check out Great Debates – they have tantrums over witnessing all the time!! 
Frightening as it is, all the workers in the cafeteria at college are on a work-release programs. We see tantrums, fights, and assaults all the time. They always get a hilarious write up in the paper. It’s great fun.
–Tim
We’re assuming they knew each other, right? Is it possible the stranger made some really obnoxious obscene comment to her, and she decided to strike out at this foul-mouthed wimp?
I’ve seen plenty of people arguing with each other. In NYC I saw one cabbie deck another cabbie who had rear-ended him. The cabbie who was hit then fell to the ground, hit the back of his head on the cement, and then started posturing. My cab driver, who witnessed the whole thing, merrily drove along, honking his horn as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Crikey!
My brother-in-law had his hairdresser get into an argument with the manager and quit…right in mid-cut. The bad news is that the manager couldn’t cut hair. The good news is that the manager gave him his (half) cut free.
Quite a few years ago a gal pal and I went to the June Jubilee in Richmond. We were riding around looking for a suitable parking spot when we saw a couple arguing on the street corner. The guy was pushing and pulling this woman by the arm as she cried. Then he slapped her in the head. We stopped at the light. I swung open my door, leaned up and pulled the seat up for her to get in our car. I started hollering at her to “get in, jump in girl! get in”. The couple were stunned. They both looked at me like I was nuts. Then the asshole started cussing at me telling me to mind my own business. Before we pulled off I told the girl one more time to get in the car with us. She didn’t budge, and we drove away. Some reason why I never forgot that. Isn’t like I haven’t seen people fight or argue in public before either.
Needs2know
My girlfriend and I were at Target when we heard a lady ranting about “people who think that having kids gives them the God Damned right to slap them around” and really carrying on. About five minutes later we saw her confronting the woman she was apparently talking about, LOUDLY saying “I’m calling the police”, with the hitter saying “FINE! I’ll go with you”…then a lot of “Fine!” “Fine!” “Let’s GO”, etc. The kids were about 8 and 10 and looked scared, and the alleged hitter looked like a real bitch. The ranting lady was right up in her face and I was sure someone was going to catch a fist in the mouth. Last I saw they were heading for the front of the store, both furious.
Wow!
Zette
Some years ago I was strolling with a friend at night, just chatting, on a side street quite deserted when we came upon a man and a woman who were fighting and probably drunk. I said to my friend “let’s remain here, at a distance, in case she needs help” and that’s what we did. They quieted down a bit and then sat down between some hedges so they were not so visible in the dark.
A few minutes later, a police cruiser arrives, a couple cops get out and attempt to grab me and my friend while saying “OK, that’s enough disturbing the night”. It turns out someone had called them and when they arrived on the scene we were all they saw so they assumed it was us. As soon as I pointed out where the real disturbance originated, everything was fine.
One thing I would not do is get in a fight where the woman is not asking for help because you often see that they do not appreciate it and you are left there feeling like a fool. If she asks for help then i’ll think about it, but it seems many women keep going back to men that beat them. I guess they like it.
I was once in a salon getting my hair cut and suddenly from the florist shop next door banging on the wall and a lot of screaming started wafting through the shop. The salon shared a wal with florist and it was pretty thin. Anyway, I couldn’t quite make out what the two women (yes, they were women) were yelling but then one of the girls busted into the salon with two giant fists full of blond hair (the women had darker hair) and several bald patches missing from her own head. She yelled at the guy cutting my hair who said he would be with her in a minute and she stormed out. The guy said that the two girls were always fighting yet remained coworkers and sometimes best friends. It was very weird. He also said that the dark haired woman had the bald patches from the other girl a few weeks ago and he had hidden it with a good haircut illusion. Several minutes later as I was paying my bill, a blond woman came in with really messy hair and several bald patches still clutching a handful of dark hair. It seems that they had been at it for a while and they kept getting back at eachother. They would have been nice looking women had I not seen their temper (they were both in their mid twenties to early thirties in appearance) and had looked in such disarray. That was the last time I went to that salon and I made it a point not to go to that florist shop.
HUGS!
Sqrl
My friends & I were at a club when we saw a couple having a “whisper fight”. You know, they put their heads close together and argue thru clenched teeth so only the other can hear. Next thing we notice is him (the weasel) dragging her to the lobby, so I sent my couin to get a bouncer (this is why I always get to know the staff). Once in the lobby, the weasel procedes to lose complete control. He starts yelling in her face & pushing her backwards. Eventually she retreats all the way to the wall & is trapped. He then picks her up by her throat and screams at her while her feet dangle about 4 inches above the floor.
This is where I decide to intervene. I walk up and calmly ask her if she needs a ride home. He then turns on me & yells in my face (while still holding her off the floor) “Mind your own damn business! This has nothing to do with you!” Just then, my friend Scott (aka. The Wall), the bouncer walks up behind the weasel & grabs the wrist he was holding his girlfriend with. It may not have been my business, but is was Scott’s. Scott must have crushed it because he let her go & his eyes bugged out like a cartoon before his knees gave out.
The weasel was thrown out & we drove the girl home. The great part was, the weasel had left his keys in his coat when he checked it. The manager (another friend) let the girlfriend take her key off his key ring & then waited until the bar closed before letting the weasel get his coat.
One night, my girlfriend and I were sleeping in our old apartment in a rather low-rent part of town. We got used to noisy drunks roaming the street. This night, however, we woke up at about 2AM to the sound of a couple screaming at each other. It was very loud and laced with profanity (obviously). The woman yelled that she was leaving, and climbed into a Volkswagen Beetle. The man then climbed on to the roof of her car, lay down, and pounded on the windshield, screaming the whole time. We yelled that we were going to call the cops, but they took no notice. The screaming and pounding went on for a minute or two. Finally, and inexplicably, they made up and walked away together. Very strange.
Oh, I thought you were talking about children. My oldest was a master at throwing fits in public.
But anyway, when I was working at Rapid Roberts (C-store) one night three people came in. (I mean there were other people there already.) One of the men and the woman were yelling at each other. Then they get into a physical struggle, knock some stuff off of the shelves. I was calling 911 at this point. Then the man grabs the woman’s shirt and it tears. She says something like, “If that’s the way you want it, fine!” and rips it the rest of the way off. The assistant manager is trying to get them out of the store for safety reasons. They take it out in the parking lot. Then they get in the car and leave. About 10 minutes later the cops showed up.
Sailor, sometimes the issues aren’t black and white (black and blue?), and there are various cirsumtances that give the abused person pause.
Let’s take the military, for example. A few years ago, Bill Clinton passed a federal law that said if you are arrested for domestic violence and you have a job that requires you to use a gun, you are fired, period. Regardless of what your job is in the military, at least in the Army the infantry guys are all required to take and pass the rifle and pistol test once a year – so by definition you fall in the above category.
Now, let’s say you get into an argument and you hit your wife. Of COURSE that’s not good. I’d want you to go into anger management and counseling, and learn to control your violent behavior. HOWEVER, if your wife presses charges, YOU are then an ABUSER and you are summarily DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED from the Army, even for a SINGLE instance!!
Now all of a sudden, you have no job. You have no career. If you were working toward your pension, bye-bye! Worse, you are now kicked out of military housing so you’re also homeless! Your kids are probably going to have to quit going to the same school, because if they’re in grade school they are attending a school on the military base… and if you’re out of the Army your kids don’t even get a hall pass to get on base.
Jobless. Homeless. Dishonorably discharged you can’t even get a loan or a well-paid job. Your kids lose time in school.
Now as a woman, I look at that and think, “sure, he hits me sometimes, but is it really worth risking all this for my family?”
Unfortunately the way the law was signed, the military doesn’t have a choice between sending you to anger management class, and booting you out. I suspect some commanding officers look the other way, but once you’re arrested for beating up on your wife, it’s just a matter of time before an audit reveals that the officer’s been covering up for you. I know when my ex-husband was stationed in Fort Hood that was one of the issues the commanding general was discussing (my ex worked in his office).
Aside from the fact that I think government has no business signing such an inflexible law like that (good intentions, poor execution), I also think it causes a SERIOUS problem with women instead insisting on NOT pressing charges, when they otherwise might.
So… next time you wonder why the woman is being so stupid in not leaving, the answer may not be that she’s brainwashed, or stupid.
And it might not seem appreciated at the time, but it could sink in with repeated people acting like she’s not in a normal situation. Don’t feel a fool, but be careful not to get hurt either.
Also: if she doesn’t go with you…the man could then become even more angrier and hurt her even worse…
Best thing to do is call 911
I had no idea there were such monsters around…
I guess I’m nore sensitive about this than most because my older brother bullied me a lot when we were kids, and my parents’ relationship vanished one night when he accused her of adultery and tried to strangle her. They made so much noise a neighbor called the cops. They came and arrested him and I never saw him again. And he was so strong he once broke a horseshoe with his bare hands.
I went to a restaurant one time, and noticed some people standing around some people on the ground==lying on the ground.
There was a guy and a gal, he was behind her, holding her arms to her side.
I went over and asked what had happened.
No one knew what had actually started things, but the guy had been using the pay phone, and the chick had started attacking him. He had wrestled her to the ground, and was holding her down–to keep her from hitting him.
Everyone present said that he at no time had hit her, that he had grabbed her to stop her. But it was still not a good move.
The cops showed up a few minutes later and took him away in cuffs.
I was waiting for a Torrance (local) bus at the station in the north end of the Del Amo Mall. Meanwhile, two cars pulled into nearby parking spaces. An older man got out of one, and a bunch of teenagers–including the man’s daughter and her boyfriend–got out of the other. The man had some angry words with the boyfriend, who was rather surly and had too much muscle for his own good. He assaulted the older man, kocking him to the ground; ‘Stay away from my girl, Mister.’ However, the older man was not hurt, and the punk’s friends restrained him.
It’s not hard to imagine what happened to the daughter when she got home, concerning, among other things, what her parents would now say about the people she keeps company with.
Wow. That’s breathtakingly sensitive and compassionate there.
I’m sure they all love it. Kinda fun. Its what all girls want, right? Just get slapped around a little. Teaches them respect.
takes a deep breath
It can be complicated. Like any abusive situation they generally have tough choices. Or what look like tough choices to them at the time. It can be a big choice to choose to go homeless rather than put up with a few bruises. He only hits you when you screw up, its mostly your fault anyway. He doesn’t mean it. Its only when he’s drunk/angry/stressed and if you just took good enough care of him, it would never happen. Why would you want to live on the street or in an over crowded shelter? Don’t you appreciate what he does for you?
You and I may be able to look at the situation from the outside and say “DUH! YOU DUMB BITCH GET THE HELL OUT!” But inside its a different ballgame. They may have kids they need to protect, and making sure they are the ones getting hit is the best way they can think of. They may not have marketable job skills and would end up homeless without the support of the abuser. They may have nothing more than near terminal low self esteem and gain some of it back when they manage to please their guy.
We say “do whatever it takes, you deserve better.”
They see “Its not so bad, He’s in therapy, we can’t break up the family, I’m too scared/worthless/untrained to be on my own.”
You guess they like it. I guess you should do some serious thinking, maybe some research, maybe some voluteer work. Just my opinion, that whole responce to ignorance knee jerk.