Well, that ain’t the case with my wife, then. No problems expressing anger here. 
obfusciatrist,
You know me better than that. I am as subtle as a fart in the wind. Actually its called “rubbing her back” cause she gets a massage out of it also. But thats when I feel vocal. Its usually just a innocent bump and gring. Never did understand why that didnt work for her.
I know there a lot of reasons why, I just wanted to explore the reason that a lot of women dont like sex. That seems to be a minor reason.
I actually know our problem. Part me and part her. A lot more serious than fatigue and such. But I was just wondering if it was possibly something else completely.
Pennylane,
Maybe thats the problem but our youngest is 10 so dont you think she is dragging it out a bit.
I guess I should have started this as a questionaire for the worst sexlife of a sucessfully marriage.
I know you’re not asking for advice, but my (rhetorical) Q here is whether it was always this way, or this is something that happened over time (sounds like A to me?)
Also, has she hit the age of the Hair-Trigger Clit™? (also rhetorical).
Hope it works out.
Well, I had sex with my first wife about 8 times in the entirety of our 3-year relationship.
We talked about it quite a bit. She just didn’t enjoy sex. She seemed to have no erogenous zones outside of her groinal region. In an effort to find out what she liked we tried many things to no avail and she tried masturbation (alone or with me there) and said she simply grew bored and stopped.
So yes, there is at least one woman who doesn’t like sex. Me, I can live without it; to me it is nowhere near the most important element of a relationship, but it sure is nice now having a wife unable to say no.
justinh, if it helps any, backrubs just put me to sleep. And sleepy != horny. Maybe a new approach would ignite her interest? If the rest of your marriage is successful, you two should be able to come up with something. There are people out there who just don’t care for sex, though, as obfusciatrist said. I’ve known one myself.
Getting married didn’t slow me down any, BTW. Rrrrowr.
It might surprise you to know that for the first few years of my marriage, the roles were reversed. I wanted it all the time and he didn’t. I remember waiting two weeks one time, trying to see if he’d ever initiate. He never did. I was going absolutely nuts and he didn’t seem to be missing it at all. Really hurt my feelings, so I can sympathize with the way you’re feeling. Now things are much better and I don’t feel so unloved or undesirable any more.
As to the reasons we women don’t want to, many of them are the same as your reasons, but we may just not be able to put a finger on it precisely every time. Sometimes we’re too tired or our hormones are out of whack and that affects the mood greatly. As you probably well know, we womenfolk can be like Jekyll and Hyde depending on which time of the month you approach us sexually. Some women just don’t have as much testosterone (yes, I said testosterone) as they normally should and that could be the problem with a lot of those who “just don’t enjoy it.”
Sometimes I don’t really want to, but I let my husband make love to me because it’s something he needs. I’m not laying there thinking “Damn I wish he’d get DONE already!” I may not feel frisky, but most of the time I’m more than happy to give him the love, affection and release that he needs because IMHO that’s all part of my marriage vows to love and cherish him. There are times like this when I just can’t seem to get into it at all and when that happens he doesn’t force the issue. This makes it much easier next time for me to acquiesce (sp?) But I wouldn’t categorize it as “just going along with it” because I genuinely want to give him what he needs and desires. And he does the same for me when the situation is reversed.
One thing I want to mention here before I close. This is something that happened just this afternoon. My husband indicated that he wanted to and I kinda had a “I don’t really feel like it” expression on my face. I was willing, but he pulled away. As I told him, sometimes you just have to give me a chance to get interested. I may not be in the mood right away every time, but don’t always just give up on me. Sometimes it takes a little wooing is all. If you see that it’s going nowhere, then feel free to back off and try again later. 
PS I do enjoy sex and always have. “Most wives don’t enjoy it” is a dreadful stereotype if you ask me and I’m sure that some women have used it as an escape mechanism. I don’t believe that blanket statement is true of most women.
I know that if I’m feeling unappreciated it makes it harder for me to want sex. I also know that it’s important to have touch and hugs and such without it necessarily leading to sex.
If the only time you reach out for your wife is when you want to have sex, it’s not going to work.
A lot of women also value conversation. If it seems like you two never share anything verbally, it can be hard to open up sexually.
To recap a lot of what has been said, it seems that a heart-to-heart talk is in order. If it’s just a case that you have the bedroom doldrums there are lots of books and sites that can help you get things going. If it has to do with other stresses in life, then getting those resolved will do wonders.
Jeez, you’re not thinking of that infamous Ann Landers survey, are you??