WMIs found in Iraq. No, really.

Life is stupider than fiction. Don’t believe me? We have now discovered clear evidence of Iraqi intelligence gathering data for the production of weapons of math instruction.

Here is the parody.
Here is the CNN article.

Wait, let’s look at that again.

Hmm, boy, quite the enigma. That’s a real thinker. Obviously we should use tortu—uh, coercive methods to get the truth out of him.

You know things are pretty bad there if they’re considering using U.S. public schools as a template for an Iraqi system.

No Baath party freedom fighter left behind.

Comic books in Iraq shown to have details on Archie.

(AP Newswire) A comic book collector with connections to Iraq’s Baathist regime has been shown to have information on perennial American High Schooler Archie. The Pentagon would not comment on rumors of young billionaire Richie Rich also targeted on the informational planning. An unnamed Department of Homeland Security official was quoted as saying “We’re looking into reports of the slaying of Richie Rich”. Photos of Casper the Friendly Ghost were posted on a Militant website over the weekend. “If that’s not proof enough that Richie Rich is dead, I don’t know what is”. A family spokesman, Uncle McScrooge, would not confirm nor deny the reports.

It’s Unca Scrooge McDuck, laddie!