Let’s see, I have a 13yr old son and 14yr daughter. To those of you w/ teenage kids…whew! football,band,choir,scouts,UIL,GT’s etc.etc.
My daughter and my wife both have Musc.Dyst. So, I naturally take care of most household chores. I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning. My wife can only work a few hours a week (teaching/sub) So, I work as much as possible, usually between 60-70 hrs week. I pay all the bills and do all the shopping.
My wife’s primary responsibility is to see that she and our daughter are taken care of. OCC.&Phys. therapy 2/week, We usually have 3-4 hospital days (4hr.drive)a month plus they each have 4-6 prescriptions/month. I do all the driving on any trips.
Current labour division in the Aspidistra household is something like:
Me: Earning money, most of the cooking, vacuuming, dusting, occasional dishes and laundry.
Mr Aspy: Working on his business plan, most of the laundry and dishes, cleaning bathrooms.
We usually go shopping together. Cleaning the car is also a ‘together’ activity but it’s only been done once in the three years we’ve been married, so I’m not sure if it really counts…
Mostly the division of labour is on the basis of “who wants it done”. I cook more often than not because I get home from work STARVING to death, meanwhile Steve’s thinking ‘food? yeah, maybe in a couple of hours…’ OTOH I don’t care if the dishes stay in the sink for a week 'cos I’m not there to smell the rancid decaying food. I tidy up most of the clutter (on a sporadic basis)… but then, I CREATE most of the clutter (by a long, long way!)
I think we do have different perceptions of our responsibilities as far as house chores go, though. I tend to go into small cleaning fits when people are coming over, because it feels like it’s my responsibility to make a nice environment for them - and I’m not willing to subject guests to the sort of squalor I’m perfectly happy to live in myself
She (that’s me): 90% of Cooking, 99% ironing, laundry, some cleaning, some gardening, some vacuuming, all painting and decorating, putting together of flat pack furniture.
He: 10% cooking, some cleaning, most tidying, all lawnmowing and hedge trimming, some vacuuming, DIY, putting together of flat pack furniture
The biggest row we ever had was over him making lunch and not offering me any - I make food for both of us 90% of the time. WE got things more sorted out after that. I like to cook, so I don’t want a 50:50 distribution of cooking chores, but I won’t accept him whinging about making me food, on the occasions when he does do so.
We have different tidying styles, which sometimes causes friction. I like stuff either left out where I can see it, or put back in the right place. He likes stuff to be out of sight and out of mind.
I do all the cooking, wash most of the dishes, load and unload the dishwasher with cups/utensils, take care of all things automotive, the houseplants and the lawn within eyesight of our patio.
We each grocery shop for ourselves.
She launders all the clothes, cleans the condo and takes out the trash.
I never thought of it as even or not, more like what each was good at and/or willing to do. I’d rather cook than clean a bathroom. Ms. Lorenzo cannot cook and says she doesn’t mind cleaning the bathroom, so we have made some such trades.
Mr. Claiborne has CHF, and doesn’t do much, but my teenage son helps a lot. Mr. C starts loads of laundry, son moves them to dryer and hangs them/ folds them/ puts them away. (Except for socks and underwear - they stay in the dryer most of the time.) I cook, son and I do dishes. I clean the bathrooms. I do all the grocery shopping. Son puts away groceries and takes out the trash. Mr. C pays the bills. He does light duty on car and motorcycle repairs. Prior to this year, he was also home schooling son. He does most of the shuttling of the kid to various functions, since I work full time and he doesn’t work. Dusting and vacuuming don’t get done much, but when it does happen, son and I share pretty much equally. Sweeping and mopping of the kitchen is done by me.
Mr. C could do a little more, but he makes such a production of it, it’s just not worth it. A little resentment from me, I guess.
Congestive Heart Failure. Sorry! We have lived with it so long, I forget other people don’t know as much about it. It’s hard for him to breathe, due to fluid backing up into his lungs, which results in him getting tired very quickly.
